Run Report #1957 22/12/2010
Hares: The sick one and the old one, no sorry I mean Big Head and Virginia Slim
Teacher’s Union, Teacher’s Estate
The Circle:
So, what did we think of that for a run? “Great run”, “Too long”, “Too many wild boars, especially the old bore in the circle” (a bit harsh!)
Tell us about your on on. Salt and Pepper Café, $12 for one bean sprout each! For some reason this so excited Kamala that she pulled up Big Head’s T-shirt shouting “Sexy Thing”, Boys you have been warned, don’t mention bean sprouts to Kamala.
Next week’s run: Bukit Batok, West Ave 7, it is on website. Hares are Too Easy and Fat Crashing Bastard
Visitors: Cumpus, Theo, King Lear, Nippy Knickers (from Stockholm), Shakes Pricks (from Stockholm), Jig a Jig.
Virgins: Paola
Returness: Vibrator, Knobby Boy Scout, Woodbridge and Nutcracker
Tits: No tits to be seen tonight.
Dick: Again no tits or dick!! Who has them? We need them back!
Lipstick: Dutch Guy (Vibrator was chosen as his lookalike and Knobby Boy Scout
Awards – none.
AOB
Tiger Lily heard something interesting on the run as she ran behind (yes, behind!) Handbag and Knobby Boy Scout – “Hey Knobby, you left your bike shorts in my car”. Well what can we say, they did go on holiday together and shared a room. Obviously not the only thing they shared!
Stiffy also overheard something when the lipstick was being given out. Jig a jig didn’t get lipstick because “ I haven’t come first since 1965” Aaahhh, bless! Keep taking that Viagra, or maybe stop taking it.
Slocum, who arrived early, (please have a chat with Jig a jig) brought Stiffy into the circle for getting Not Tonight to do his dirty work. Apparently, people were leaning on his car!! Heaven forbid, not his car! Too Easy even went so far as to lean on it to write the visitors names – what was she thinking? But instead of telling them to move away himself he got Not Tonight to!
Hooray then charged Tiger Lily for coming in last, last week! Yes you heard right – last! She came in at 7:45 shouting “Hash Shit”
Keeping to the Tiger Lily theme, Slocum proclaimed that we now have a Caucasian Tiger Lily – Open to the Floor. Tiger Lily is famous for her ability to miss the trail and go the wrong way and Open to the Floor managed to do the same 4 times on this hash while Slocum was following her. Jack Off was wondering “ Why were you following her?” No domestics in the circle please.
Nippy Knickers say some perversion on the trail (only some?) Mr Poatato Head was running when he came to a fallen tree trunk where he stopped and directed the following Harriet to get on all fours and crawl under it, while he watched! It wasn’t until she had come out the other side that he mentioned that they were off trail and had to go back! Mr Potato Head – naughty, naughty!
Stiffy then charged another naughty male – Slocum. When driving to the hash (well being driven really) Stiffy got a phone call from Slocum asking “Where are you?” at 25 to 6! Slocum was concerned that he was in the wrong place. Stiffy asked “Is anyone else there?” “No, nobody at all” was the reply, “Nobody?” “Well, only Too Easy” So,Too Easy is a nobody????
Not Tonight charged the virgin Paola (lookalike Goody Bag) for falling on her face not once, not twice, not three times but four times! Then when picking herself up the last time she admitted, “I’m more used to being a street walker.” Well that explains why she was on her back so much!
Big Head was very proud of her shining star wand last week, but she was a bit upset this week to see that Croc Hunter had shown her up, with not just one shining star, but 6 shining stars on his Christmas hat.
Big Head then offered her star to be kissed by Vibrator as a birthday treat. In true Knobby Boy Scout form he offered to kiss Vibrator who politely declined as he was busy going round the circle kissing all the harriettes. Better luck next time Knobby!
Stiffy for once was paying attention to what was being said in the circle, but King Lear wasn’t. King Lear heard Vibrator was “getting uglier” not “getting older”
Ugly Bum came into the circle, shocked and outraged as she had been insulted by Stiffy. What have you done this time Stiffy? The pommy bastard, that is you Stiffy, had said “ I learnt the traits of telling lies from you, Ugly Bum.” When will you learn Stiffy? Women never tell lie they just tell their version of the truth.
The circle was then distracted as Open to the Floor and Vibrator tried to make a quiet getaway – unsuccessfully. Obviously time for Vibrator’s birthday treat!
Ugly Bum came back into the circle to show us all how she was trying to change her image. “Getting rid of Jim” was one hashers suggestion, but no she is trying to be more subtle, growing her hair long and wearing more seductive clothing. She asked Ad Nauseum “Shall I grow my hair longer? Do you remember when my hair was nipple length? Shall I grow it that long again?” He replied with these loving words of encouragement – “Give it up love – your hair could never grow as quickly as your nipples are drooping” Ooooohhh! How mean!
Handbag added, if your wife asks, “are my tits dropping? Is my bum sagging?” Never reply “Well, at least there is nothing wrong with your eyesight!”
Ad Nauseum reminded everyone that on the 1st Jan it will be 1/1/11 so there will be a New Year’s day Kampong run to celebrate. Check website for details.
Merry Christmas everybody!
On on on.
Scribed by Wet Brazilian.