Hares: Hares – Too Easy and Fat Crashing Bastard
HomeTeamNS Adventure Centre, Bukit Batok
The Circle:
So, what did we think of that for a run? “Good run”, “ Not enough T checks”, “Not enough funny noises”. Fat Crashing Bastard to Big Head “Turn me into a prince please. Use your wand please” (Don’t know where that came from!!).
Tell us about your on on. Chicken, prawns, yam basket and lots of other delicious things – you turn left, you turn right, you put your right hand in, your right hand out and you do the Hokey, Cokey and that’s what it’s all about – very tuneful!
Next week’s run: Farewell run by Sex Change and his wife at the end of Springleaf Road.
Week after next (12th Jan)– we need a hare. Kannot Kan can’t do it (Aaahhh!) Hooray offered to do one around Farrell Road, but everybody shouted “No, No!!!” [Editor’s note: did any of the people shouting “No, No” volunteer to set a run then?]
Visitors: just the returnees.
Virgins: None.
Returness: – “Old farts” – King Lear, Nutcracker, Woodbridge and “He’s just a fart” Knobby Boy Scout
Tits: No tits to be seen tonight.
Dick: Again no tits or dick!! Who has them? We need them back!
Lipstick: Naughty Knobby – again! Boo and Father Anus – Deep Throat will never use her lipstick again after it having been on such lovely hunks!
Awards – none.
AOB
Big Head was wearing Monday Hash shirt, King Lear had to check the breast height logo very carefully indeed. “Off, off, off” the crowd shouted, but Big Head didn’t oblige.
Not Tonight was concerned about the different reactions Harriets had to intimacy with her husband Stiffy. Firstly, Wet Brazilian, who had suffered from cramp in her bum during the run, turned down Stiffy’s very kind offer to massage it better with a determined “no way, I wouldn’t let him touch my bum with a barge pole!” Whereas Deep Throat then openly offered to give Stiffy the clap! (Not sure if he took up the offer!)
Wet Pet then charged Wet Brazilian for being intimate with Slocum. During the run she came across Wet Brazilian and Slocum hiding behind the bushes! Jack Off informed everyone that Slocum had no reason to be hiding behind the bushes with anybody!
Deep Throat reminded everyone that Wet Brazilian of course didn’t have a bush to hide behind – thanks Deep Throat!
Kannot Kan charged himself by telling a Brazilian and Bush joke very badly. When President Bush was informed that three Brazilians had been killed in the Iraq war, he asked “How much is a Brazilian?”
To capture the moment Jack Off tried to take a picture, but modern technology is obviously so complex nowadays Jack Off got it the camera the wrong way round.
Fat Crashing Bastard then charged Not Tonight for constantly asking for short cuts during the run because she was drunk from drinking champagne all afternoon – well it is Christmas who can blame her.
Mr Potato Head then charged Big Head for making improper suggestions on the trail. Big Head told him – “Don’t just hold it, blow it” But surely shouldn’t Mr Potato Head be saying that to you?
Fat Crashing Bastard then revealed that Wet Pet had asked for some refreshment earlier and being such a kind person he offered her some of his, but she refused saying “No, I think that will be too salty”
Wow, lots of sex talk tonight! – Big Head was getting a bit flushed with it all.
Knobby Boy Scout brought Big Head in for the best quote of the night without a punch line. During the run at the mirky pond Big Head said “Oh, that could give a girl an infection” Knobby’s response was “Infection came about 20 years too late” – Oooohhh, Knobby, put those claws away!
Hooray likes to be very helpful of course, so when the Croc Hunter asked “where is Friday’s hash?”, Hooray replied “ I think it is at Pepys Road” Jack Off who was standing nearby joined in ‘Thanks for that, it’s my run I was wondering where it was”!!!
Not Tonight then got serious and called Knobby Boy Scout in for his standard of dress. Too Easy obviously had made an effort with her lovely dress, Deep Throat was wearing lots of bling for Christmas, but the male Harriet really don’t appreciate the need to dress properly! Do they? Knobby being the worse culprit – those shoes!! And last week when we were all dancing at the onon Knobby’s shoes were dropping mud all over the floor – yuck! and the Harriets were having to dance around the dirt! Stepping in that “could give a girl an infection” – Naughty Knobby again!
Wet Brazilian also had to charge Knobby Boy Scout because whilst running Knobby asked if she had any Brazilian girlfriends she could bring along to the hash as he is a bit desperate at the moment– Sorry Knobby, but dressed like that do you honestly think you would be in with a chance??!! But Knobby then promised to make more of an effort with his dress next week – so hold on to your hats girls!
Hooray then brought to everybody’s attention the hasher with the most Christmas spirit – Virginia Slim, who has had his car sprayed Christmas red – very nice!
And to finish a lovely parting song was sang form Woodbridge and Nutcracker as this is their last hash in Singapore till next year – “f#$k off , you c%^ts, f#$k off you c%^ts!”
On that note “Happy New Year Everybody” and thanks Hooray for lending me your headlight.
On on on.
Scribed by Wet Brazilian.