The ‘All in the Family’ Run
Mother’s Tongue, Slippery Bum, Yana and Friend.
The Run
A surprisingly large group graced the Pepys Road carpark to welcome new beer boys and the new year. Those of us who made an effort to find a taxi found the roads surprisingly free of traffic. Mother’s Tongue directed serious runners out the carpark entrance and shortcutters down the stairs to head on down Pepys Road. Around the canal and into Hortpark, our front runners headed off down Alexandra Road only to be called back and up the other way. Into the British enclave (what else should I call it, with Royal, Canterbury, York, and Winchester Roads) and over to Normanton Park before a circle check had everyone confused for about 5 minutes. Home was “that” way but the trail went in completely the opposite direction over towards Science Park Drive.
Finally out onto South Buona Vista, into forest trail (bike trail) going parallel with the road, before heading up to the top of Kent Ridge Park. Phew. Fortunately there was a drink stop of Vodka Cranberry as reward for climbing the hill, before a short trot down to Pepys Road. Well done hares.
The Circle
What did we think about the run? “All 7 hares” were called in by the GM. Mother’s Tongue had promised a “nice & beautiful run”. Was it? Yes, proclaimed the circle, give them a drink.
What about your on on? Mother’s Tongue announced that while the original plan was for on site, two weeks of continuous rain had convinced them to go inside, on in Yana’s friend to give directions. He proceeded to describe a
to the on on. Chilli con carne, cooked by the hares, $10.
Next week’s run: Yishun Industrial Park A, by Father Anus. Since Yishun Industrial Park A is a road with many twists and turns, you are advised to find the Fire Station and park in the car park next to it.
Lipstick: Wet Patch and Vibrator.
New Member: Welcome to Harriets, Jackie. Only a virgin last week. We love keen virgins.
Virgins: Emma. “Who made you come, Emma”? Handbag was the answer. Never mind, you might have come with him but you don’t have to go home with him. “Will you come again”? I might, was the answer, but I am leaving soon.
Visitors: A plethora of visitors tonight, welcome Bagless Too, Slack Arse, Marina, King Lear, Coo Chi Coo, No Good, Ayam Zinking, Stiff, Stiffler, Gulnara, Completely Unacceptable, Isakoo, Phoney Dick.
The Tits: Ad Nauseum has clearly thought through and rehearsed his charge for tonight. He starts off “One of the most annoying things on the hash is….” Quick as a flash, his wife pipe up “YOU!”. All previous charges are forgotten as Ugly Bum is called in. A quick domestic discussion ensues and then Ad Nauseum returns to his previous charge. Apparently it is annoying to have know-it-all’s who are sure they know where the run is going and know all the short cuts. Stiff “knew” a short-cut, persuaded Ad Nauseum to follow him, only to have them both positioned at the very back of the pack. Stiff gets the tits.
Gong Xi Fa Cai: Croc Hunter is in attendance, teaching the new beer boys a thing or two. He is called in to receive an Ang Bao from a grateful GM. Thanks Croc Hunter, you will be missed.
The Dick: Hand Bag has had another week to think of a good charge or two. He has some candidates. We know that Shoe Shopper always advertises when she has to go off for a tinkle, but tonight when she ducked off into the bushes, Vibrator was good enough to call “on on, this way” to follow her. He is nearly a good enough candidate, be even better is Lethal Weapon who left her (cooler) box behind last week. Lethal Weapon gets the Dick.
Awards – none
AOB
· Ugly Bum has a bit of a grudge. Ad Nauseum showed up at home late tonight and proceeded to interrogate her as to whether she had remembered to pack all his hash gear. Yes, she replied as a long suffering one. Had she remembered his shorts? Yes, was the answer. Come the run and the shorts turn out to have a hole in a rather interesting place, why hasn’t she sewed them up? This is beyond the pale for Ugly Bum, who points out to all associate members that the Harriets are not their slaves, or something to that effect.
· Turbo turned up to the drink stop at the same time as Ugly Bum. Ugly Bum must have thought she was at the back of the pack, as she spied a table full of drinks she exclaimed “but I can’t drink all of those”. Ok, have a drink now then….
· Not Tonight was apparently shortcutting around a “circuitous route” (ed: see http://www.circuitousroot.com/ ) when Ad Nauseum found trail and called for a woman. Not Tonight was a bit miffed that she had to run all the way back to lead the pack. At least I think that was the charge, at this point Ugly Bum was asking me what a circuitous root was, was it enjoyable, how could she acquire one, and why didn’t her husband know this technique. A quick image search for circuitous root reveals this tasty image (removed from blog version).
· Stiff wants Ad Nauseum in for a grudge – Ad Nauseum, coming up behind Stiff on the run, remarks that she seems to have gained weight and would he please hurry up?
· Stiffy was parked in the corner of the car park and noticed a steady progressing of Harriets passing by before the run, presumably to have a tinkle. After the run, Twin Towers was looking for a suitable spot and Stiffy was good enough to point out the previously used facilities. Twin Towers thought it was a bit dark, and sought reinforcements. On in Comes Quietly, we hope you washed your hands afterwards.
· Yana calls her partner in for obscure directions, provides a slightly less circuitous route to the on on, and gives him a drink.
· Slack Arse has a charge. Points out that hashers are supposed to be a friendly and helpful bunch. So then, when driving to the hash, when you see a fellow hasher walking to the run site, you are supposed to stop and offer a ride. He calls in Ad Nauseum (as driver) and Turbo (as walker) only to be swiftly corrected. It was a visitor as the walker and Ugly Bum who was the driver. Give them a drink.
· Mother’s Tongue points out that Vibrator came to the run in a very colourful outfit….orange shirt, orange shoes etc. One of our visitors was also wearing orange shoes, but wouldn’t be caught dead in an orange shirt. Give them both a note.
· Ugly Bum wants Mother’s Tongue in for forgetting Vibrator’s name – how is that possible?
· Zipp is annoyed at people who persist in not wearing hash shirts. On in the new beer boys for a drink (ed: note this was their first run).
· Loose Change brings in Stiffener who gets a drink for great work in arranging the new beer boys over the weekend.
· Shoe Shopper wants Cock Radio in but he isn’t here so she takes a look-a-like in Comes Quietly. She is questioning Cock Radio’s commitment to the hash. He couldn’t get a taxi and was contemplating whether to make a last ditch effort. “What’s for dinner”, he asked? “Chilli”, she replied. “F&ck, baked beans”. I guess that means he isn’t coming to the on on.
· Slack Arse wants Shoe Shopper and Wet Patch in. Apparently they are the hares for the dog hash this weekend, but they haven’t announced it in the circle. Shoe Shopper corrects this, Lorong Lada Hitam, dogs optional.
· Mother’s Tongue gives a dog hash warning… Shoe Shopper and Wet Patch are commanded to “stay”. Be careful when sitting down that a dog doesn’t pee all over you.
On on.
Scribed by Sneaky Comer.