The Waitangi (NZ) Run
Hares: Lost Marbles, Wet N Wild and a flock of sheep.
Harding Rd, car park behind the church
The Great Debate
A Kiwi run always ignites that intriguing question – who invented the pavlova? Discussion was on and the experts called in. Australia and New Zealand square off again. Both countries claim the Pavlova as a national dish, but there can only be one winner. This popular dish is named after the famous ballerina, Anna Pavlova, who toured Australia and New Zealand in 1920s. So, who first cooked up this sweet treat in her honour?
According to the Australians, the chef of the Hotel Esplanade in Perth, Western Australia, Herbert Sachse, created the pavlova to celebrate the visit of the great Russian ballerina, Anna Pavlova.
According to the New Zealanders, a recipe was recorded in 1919, long before the ballerina came to dance. New Zealand has had a recipe, often called a meringue cake, but sometimes called a pavlova, before anything like that was known in Australia.
Well, it seems the Kiwis have it. But at least they can’t pinch our true-blue, fair dinkum Aussie icons like Split Enz and Phar Lap and good old Russell Crowe. Bon appétit!
But really, what’s all the fuss? It’s only a pile of beaten eggwhite with fruit and cream all over it.
The Run
And speaking of fruity things and whipped cream, that brings us to the Hash. The Hares got their Saints a bit confused at one stage in the naming of the Church car park, but managed to set everyone off on time. A great T check along the top of the field saw everyone out onto Napier Rd and over the pedestrian bridge for another great check. After a detour along Holland Rd, it was back into the guts of Dempsey. Pre dinner patrons, sipping on their drinks outside on the balconies were startled to see 30 or so sweaty runners emerging from the bushes into the shopping area. Around the back and down the steps onto the Rugby Fields.
Past a game of soccer, the Hares, not taking chances with the weather, had placed a Circle Check under a spectator’s shelter on the side. I decided to let Give Way check first along the smelly drain, remembering Sneaky Comers encounter with a cobra there the other year.
Feeling rather nauseous from the puky drain, fresh air was needed so I checked back across the field all the way into Loewen Rd. As the Hares had not stipulated how far to go on checks, I extended my checking to 800 meters and stumbled on the Home Trail, just as On On was called back on the far side of the Field. Well, that was heading back to close for comfort to that puky drain, and I thought the aroma of hops, malt and barley might rid me of my nauseous state of being. So Home Trail to the Beer Wagon for me.
Well, the Pack headed through the bush and eventually bashed it’s way up onto Loewen Rd for the Home Trail home. While cleansing my nostrils of that foul drain, I observed Shaggy Dick 2 at the top of the steps leading down into the car park, 50 metres from the Beer Wagon, with his back to us and calling ‘Are you?’ He disappeared along with the rest of the blind as a bat front runners. Amazing.
The Circle:
So, what did we think of that for a run? Too much sheep shagging. Too many Chicks. Good Run. Baa Baa.
Tell us about your On On: Mr. Hoe and his roast lamb, potatoes, creamy of course, salad and Wet N Wilds Pav. (How do you tell if a Kiwi has been into the fridge? Love bites on the leg of lamb.)
Next week’s run: Cactus Rd, Seletar Seafood Restaurant.
Visitors / Returnees: Knobby Boy Scout, Virginia Slim, TBA, Indecent Exposure, Armless, Higgins and a few others possibly.
Virgins: 2 virgins, with one claiming they had done it 3 times. Interesting.
Lipstick: TBA, Armless, who did not even make it out of the car park, and Hooray.
Tits: Hooray informs us that Virginia Slim has rejoined the work force, thus requiring Kan The Cobra to find herself a new co hare. Virginia Slim wins the Tits.
Dick: No Dick.
Awards – nope
AOB
· Kan Not Can announces the passing of William Leong, a Monday Hasher and a well respected and dedicated one. A minutes silence followed.
· Shoe Shopper thanked Stiffener for the great party on Saturday, and a few people called for another one in 2 weeks time.
· Armless and Indecent Exposure are fare welled as it is their last Harriet’s Run. Armless is presented with a hook to compensate for his lack of arm. Indecent Exposure was then covered up by a massive pair of oversized knickers. As they are now both retired, she is also given a pair of f*#k me shoes so she can walk the streets to earn some extra money on the side. Finally, Big Head presented them with a memento of that famous run they set on the East Coast where we were told to run and run and run, but not to worry because it was a bus run. Sure enough, we arrived at a car park and there was Armless with the bus – a toy miniature double decker! Farewell guys, we will miss you both.
· Kamala comes in all emotional now that Armless is leaving and she will have no one to love her. Armless then gives her a love talk in his German Indian language.
· Hand Bag gets Tiger Lily and points out to her the difference between a white plastic bag and toilet paper. She misled the Pack at a check by insisting that the white thing they could see was plastic. So after fruitless searching in the opposite direction, Tiger Lily’s ‘plastic was reexamined and of course, it turned out to be paper marking the trail. What does she use in her toilet at home???
· Fat Crashing Bastard can’t believe the pain threshold of Tiger Lily- on finishing the run, she grabbed all the ice out of the cooler and shoved it down her sock. But can she put it down her shorts?
· Our Belgian visitor shows Hand Bag how they use plastic bags to drink out of in Europe. He fills a plastic bag and hangs it around Hand Bags head. Belgian chocolate is then thrown into the crowd, and Mr. Belgian finishes by proposing to Jack Off.
· Knobby Boy Scout informs us that Tiger Lily is into bi stuff. Yes, she won the Singapore Biathlon.
· Shaggy Dick 2 is worried about KBS asking him to be his partner in the Urban Health Run for men.
· Knobby Boy Scout is also partnering Hand Bag – they are sharing a bedroom in Bali. Also, there is some sort of code happening, involving what to do if a condom is hanging from the front door. It’s a worry.
· Sneaky Comer charges your scribe for doing a 750 metre check and discovering the Home Trail.
· Not Tonight warns Shoe Shopper not to invite Deep Throat as a Facebook friend, or you will end up getting Hand Bag ads.
· TBA was in NZ 3 weeks ago and they were celebrating Waitangi Day then. He charges the Hares for being late.
· Mr. Belgian charges Two Jugs for wearing a St. Georges shirt when we are celebrating Waitangi Day.
· FCB charged the 2 Kiwi blondes for getting a bit friendly with the 2 stuffed sheep. Well, Wet N Wild is Kiwi, but Wet N Ready? Does she have a bit of kiwi in her???
· Hand Bag also saw Shaggy Dick 2 at the end of the run calling ‘Are you?’ when he was 20 metres from the car park.
· Knobby Boy Scout was silly enough to follow Tiger Lily, who got lost at the end just 20 metres from the car park. While Shaggy Dick2 realised where he was eventually, Tiger Lily kept going past the car park in the direction of Orchard Rd, with KBS trailing on behind her.
· Hooray has found out why TBA came to the run – his wife is away and there was nothing to eat at home.
· I could not let Sneaky Comer and Wet N Wild rest in peace. Coming back from their romantic trip away to Europe, there is WNW unable to run in a leg brace with a damaged cruciate ligament, while Sneaky Comer returned with a severely strained groin. Just stick to the more conventional positions from now on you 2, ok!
· TBA reckons Tiger Lily is so blind that she could get lost in a pair of Shoe Shoppers size 18 knickers.
And just on a Kiwi note to finish off:
A Kiwi walks into the local unemployment office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi! I hate being on welfare, I’d really rather have a job."
The clerk behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he’ll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You’ll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.
The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The Kiwi says, "You’re bull****ting me!"
The Centrelink officer says, "Yeah, well, you started it".
On on to Mr. Ho’s NZ tucker – lamb, creamy potato, salad and Wet & Wild’s incredible Pavlova!
Scribed by Cock Radio.