The Birthday Run
Hares: Boo, Stiffener, Too Easy, Quickie.
Cactus Rd.
Seletar Seafood
Stop press – Hare needed for 16th March. Contact Posh Nash asap.
Lion City 1500 Run Saturday March 5th
Harriet’s Rock
When will Concert Promoters get it right? If they want to get a capacity crowd, then don’t hold rock concerts on a Wednesday night. Especially when it’s Boo’s birthday. Apparently the Promoters were disappointed with the numbers attending the Eagles Concert, and have contacted the Harriet’s to see if we would cancel our Wednesday run next time they have a band playing. It seems that Singapore ain’t big enough for a Harriet’s Run and a rock concert on the same night. As if, buddy, we’re not the new kid in town.
The Run
A nasty down pour had the Hares worried – would there still be trail and would anyone turn up? Would there be a heartache tonight? Undaunted as always, Boo told us that trail starts across the road and into the jungle just behind ‘that’ motor bike. Take it easy crossing the road, because with the peak hour traffic there was a lot of life in the fast lane on Yio Chu Kang Rd.
Well, by the time we crossed the road, the motorbike had rode off, resulting in Tiger Lily and others heading off down the road in the wrong direction chasing after a motorbike.
This run had more loops, twists, ups and downs and corkscrews than the new Battle star Galactic ride at Resorts Sentosa. Cunning use of trail, tight checks and even a loop that crossed back over it’s own trail. Thankfully the Hares spared us any water crossings, as some of the streams and canals resembled the Colorado River. The Hares really were taking us to the limit tonight.
Many gravel trails, which had us thinking maybe no more walk in the woods, 2 times under the SLE, a great jungle grass trail, a magnificent red sunset for those game to take their eyes off their foot holdings, and a champers stop with chocolate. No tequila sunrise though.
One of the most challenging sections of the run was between the drink stop and home – especially for those having more than 1 cup of champagne. The slippery bum section saw many a champers cup spilt and Kan The Cobra’s running tights split. So to an end came the long run. And one of these nights, the rain may hold off.
The Circle:
With Shoe Shopper living it up at the Hotel California, it was left to Big Head to show herself to be in control and run the Circle. And quite a witchy woman she proved to be.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too dry, too many eagles, not enough champagne. Bloody good run Hares, well done. And thanks for the singlets.
Tell us about your On On: Seletar Seafood, $12. Next to the Sad Café.
Next week’s run: St David’s Day Run, Bukit Timah Railway Station with Loose Change & Mr. Potato Head (Is he calling himself a saint now?)
Visitors / Returnees:, Virginia Slim, Yummy Pie, Wanker 1 and Wanker Hong Kong, Ayam Zinking, Sharon Batu, Trash, C#nt Dracula, Impossible and a few others possibly.
Virgins: Not on your sweet bippy.
Lipstick: Hong Kong Wanker, C#nt Dracula, and under great protesting of his innocence, Ad Naseum.
Tits: Virginia Slim enters the Circle, wearing the Tits and with a glint in his eye. Looking around the Circle at the motley collection of males, he raises the question of are there any males capable of satisfying a women later in the night. He calls for a randy random sample of 3 males, with the Circle nominating Mr. Potato Head, Ad Naseum, and Cock Radio. Slim then produced a can of whipped cream, sprayed it all over the Tits and told the 3 males to demonstrate what they would do to a real female. Emerging with cream all over me from A – T after diving in for a face full of creamy Tits, yours truly got the Tits. And the job of hand washing them. Can I have a practice on some real ones first please ladies?
Dick: A Dickless Harriets. So sad huh.
Awards – nah
AOB
· Saint David, also known as Mr. Potato Head, has a 3some for us.
1. Big Head for being stand in GM but without any F#*k Me Shoes to stand in.
2. While driving to run, Mr. P. H left enough room for a Mercedes to be able to complete a U turn, only to have another car drop in and fill the gap he had created, thus putting an end to the Merc’s U turn opportunity. Mr. Potato Head gave the errant Singapore driver a serving of vulgarities and finger signs, very unbecoming of a Saint, before realizing the inconsiderate driver was none other than the infamous Father Anus.
3. Ayam Zinking had to be shown paper and flour 3 times in as many minutes, all 3 times the mentioned items being not more than 5 meters from him. Ayam Zinking, you have spectacles, next time wear them!
· Kan Not Kan arrived late, but not as late as Ayam Zinking, who got out of a taxi spitting feathers and cursing. Why? Because the taxi driver had delivered him to Serangoon, which was where he had started his trip 20 minutes earlier and he was charged $30 for the joy ride. ‘Do I have the kind of face that says ‘Taxi Victim?’ asks Ayam Zinking. Yes was the reply from everyone.
· Deep Throat also arrived late and was convinced by Virginia Slim to join him and Sharon Batu to trace the home trail in reverse to the drink stop. He failed to tell them about the holes, slippery embankments, rocks etc that had to be negotiated and nearly had them in the Colorado River doing some white water free styling.
· Mother’s Tongue was shown a discrete place to shower by Father Anus. Right in front of a restaurant that had a spotlight pointing at her.
· Kan Not Kan would like Sharon Batu in the Circle, and who wouldn’t like her in a few other places too, come to think of it. Anyway, Kan Not Kan tried to bully his way through a charge on Ms Batu, something about going for a slip and slide trying to reach the drink stop in reverse but ended up being howled down by the females for being a sexist thug and cops a ‘Bullshit’ while Sharon Batu leaves the Circle with her honour intact. Kan Not Kan, you can’t hide your lyin’ eyes.
· Ugly Bum is angry. Very angry. Ad Naseum slinks off into the dark with his hands over his head. Ugly Bum rallies the females and proclaims that they don’t need to put up with such boyish, loutish sexist behaviour from the men, in fact she claims ‘they are only associate members and we don’t need them at all.’ This was quickly followed by your scribe throwing down his note pad, downing his pen and getting off his chair to go and join the rest of the unwanted boys at the beer van for a drink. Ugly Bum quickly reflected on the implications of what she said and decided that most of the associate boys are ok and needed, especially the scribe, and narrows her anger onto Kan Not Kan and Hooray.
· Hong Kong Wanker congratulated Tiger Lily on her sexy showering, for which he had a ringside seat.
· Tiger Lily tells how Sharon Batu has a bit of a sex differentiation problem when she thought that Gordon must be Stiffener’s name on the Hares Birthday singlet. Is Gordon a girl’s name in Chinese??
· Virginia Slim is sick of hearing so many people say that they know Black Widow. So he asks all those that have really ‘known’ Black Widow to come into the Circle. Nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean, know what I mean? Every male, including Croc Hunter, enters the Circle, as well as 3 females!
· China Hash Nash in October September 2-4 – do a Google [ed: or use Bing if you want to get the dates right] if interested. http://www.hash.cn/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=19:the-beijing-hash-house-harriers&catid=25:hhh&Itemid=27
· And all the February Birthday folk are in for a drink – my, a combined age of 3,527 years.
· And just on a Kiwi note to finish off:
Our thoughts go to our Kiwi friends on their recent tragedy.
On on to Seletar Seafood.
Scribed by Cock Radio.