The St David Day’s Run
Hares: Mr. Potato Head, Loose Change.
Bukit Timah Railway Station
On On; The Friggin’ Frog
St.David
Well, Saint David, or Dewi Sant, as he is known in the Welsh language, is the Patron Saint of Wales. He was a Celtic monk, abbot and bishop, (obviously a person in need of a career counselor to help him make up his mind -CR), who lived in the sixth century. During his life, he was the Archbishop of Wales, (add Archbishop to the CV as well – CR) and he was one of many early saints who helped to spread Christianity among the pagan Celtic tribes of Western Britain. (Looking at Great Britain today, he has a lot to answer for. And I would not put that on the CV if I was him – CR)
And speaking of Pagan tribes, that brings us to the motley group of Hashers that gathered in the wilderness area of Bukit Timah last Wednesday.
The Run
Our own living Saint David, Mr. Potato Head, who is really not a Saint but just a naughty, naughty little boy, set us off on the run with the following words, ‘Brothers be ye constant. The yoke which with single mind ye have taken, bear ye to the end; and whatsoever ye have seen with me and heard, keep and fulfil’.
And with those words twirling through our minds, down the railway track we ran, to the thunderous applause of a lone track worker sitting on a chair high up on the embankment. Well, he gave us a wave at least. Past the train spotters with camera set up on tripod, then across and into the big open field.
Lost the trail, but Shaggy and I thought we would head to the bottom corner where the big canal is, only to be called all the way back up the hill by the GM heading towards Blackmore Dve. But then she decided she wasn’t on trail after all. So back to the bottom corner we went, and there sure enough was the trail, going across the big canal, just as SD2 and I had predicted 5 minutes ago.
Two Jugs led the way down the steps, across the canal and up again, while a few dare devils, led by Boo and Father Anus, took their chances balancing on the pipeline.
Along the big open canal towards Sixth Ave, it was a case of Stiffy taking the High Road and we take the Low Road. We bade Stiffy farewell, as he was stranded on the far side of the canal, and we all disappeared into the jungle on the other. As the next line of the song predicts, ‘And I’ll be in Scotland a fore ya.’ Well, it wasn’t quite Scotland, but stuff me, there was Stiffy ahead of us heading into Greenleaf Park. He must have sprinted.
Up Greenleaf View to the Malaysian Railway Line at Old Holland Rd, presenting walkers and short-cutters the perfect opportunity to take the train track to home.
It was out onto Ulu Pandan Rd, with Ugly Bum leading the way for a frisky pack of males. However, like a bitch female dog on heat, she kept stopping and turning around to face the males chasing after her. Was she trying to protect herself from the males or was just looking for another female to take the lead from her. At one stage, myself and Ad Nauseum had to pick her up and carry her forward.
Another big canal to get around, and into another jungle stretch before emerging onto Clementi Rd. The gradual but steady incline saw a few runners stop to adjust their pacemakers, Wet Patch, Bagless 2 and Ad Nauseum being some that come to mind.
A T Check brought the Pack back to the old old railway track, at the tunnel under Clementi Rd. It was then a case of follow the disused track all the way back out. The Hares could have used a chain saw to get rid of some of the fallen trees. I was on hands and knees crawling to get under one, when the person in front of me called ‘Trip.’ Well, I thought to myself, I’m not going to do myself too much damage if I trip from this level. Thanks for the warning all the same, Shoe Shopper. Very thoughtful.
Eventually we emerged back out onto the Malaysian Railway Line for the home stretch, but not before Shoe Shopper had attempted to remove her appendix on a protruding broken, jagged branch. Try a kidney next time, there’s a good resale market for them.
A 7km run, just over 1 hour.
The Circle:
Shoe Shopper, back from living it up at the Hotel California, and with a broken tree branch protruding from her back, calls us to ‘Gather round.’
Gather round?? We are going to do the run again? On reflection, she decides that ‘Form a Circle,’ is a better call to make.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too many Saints, drains, canals and Welsh Rabbits. Good run, well done Hares.
Tell us about your On On: The Frigid Frog, just along from the Red Lantern. Order your own leek soup and rabbit.
Next week’s run: Kan Not Can and Kan The Cobra – somewhere in Singapore. Perhaps. Now Bukit Brown Cemetery by Zipp, Gypsy, Bit on the Side and Leg Over.
Visitors / Returnees: Steptoe & Posh Duck get the ‘One tall one, one short one…’ as returnees. Totally Unacceptable, Sandra, Bagless 2, Krit, Eskimo, Phony Dick. Which one is Sandra?
Virgins: Not on your sweet bippy.
Lipstick: Steptoe. He may have been innocent, but he scores lipstick anyway for making a smart ass remark.
Tits: I have been washing them all week, by hand of course, to get Virginia Slim’s whipped cream out of them. Well, Shaggy Dick suffered a dicky knee after last weeks Urban Run, but there is no sign of the Dick tonight. So instead, his medical condition is reassessed to be a ‘Titty Knee.’ Shoe Shopper declared it a lame charge.
Dick: A Dickless Harriets still, although rumour has it that Lethal Weapon has snuck off home with the Dick. Mmm.
Awards – Zipp – 600 runs!
Wet N Ready – 50 runs (after 4 years!) Off, off off!
Maggot – 50 runs. On on on!
Wet Brazilian – 50 runs. Off, off off!
At this stage my scribe hand became rather shaky!
AOB
· Ugly Bum has another problem with the associate members. She was commenting on all the lovely bodies getting their tops off for their 50 run awards. ‘Cheap entertainment,’ was the comment from Boo.
· Deep Throat charged Hand Bag for describing the Welsh Cake as a scone that did not rise.
· Loose Change discovered a flashing car, belonging to Mother Tongue who was nowhere to be seen. Stiffener came to the rescue, found her keys first go and switched off the lights. After locking up the car, he did not even make it back to the beer wagon and the lights were flashing again.
· Fat Crashing Bastard suggested that Shaggy Dick 2 make use of his Tits, that still have a bit of cream in them, put them to good use and start producing some breast milk ice cream! A titillating thought.
· I gave Shoe Shopper a charge, but I can’t remember what it was. Must have been about boobs, because she said it was undeserved.
· Shaggy Dick 2 told how the male Urban Run he did with Hand Bag was a great experience. His Dicky Knee was numbed by the free beer that was served up at 10am. By 12.30, he and Hand Bag were the only 2 left, and they found a whole table full of beer!
· Hand Bag then went home after they demolished the last table of free Tiger, with visions of running the Sunday Hash later in the day. SD2 convinced him to leave his car behind and take a cab home for a rest. When he got home he slept – vomited- slept – vomited – slept – vomited. So much for Sunday Hash!
· Kan Not Can noticed that Sandra, the female guest had a nice new pair of shoes on, but he could not figure why no one else had noticed. I directed his head upwards from her feet to chest level and pointed out to him that every other male had not got their eyes below her well endowed chest level.
· Hoo Ray asked our visiting Monday Hasher if he was here to look at all the lovely Harriets. He said no, he is setting a run here shortly and is using our run as a recee. Very cunning.
· Stiffy was talking with Mr. Potato Head, who was eating a peanut biscuit and telling him how good they are. Finally Stiffy was convinced that he should try one, but Mr. PH told him not to bother as he had the last one.
· Wet Pet has her cupboards full of ingredients that she has purchased in order to make Welsh goodies, under the guidance of her instructor, Loose Change. But she is just hoping that Loose Change comes over finally before the expiry dates come up.
· Loose Change thanks Mr. Potato Head for going around 2 times tonight.
· Not Tonight follows up on Stiffy taking the High Road while we all took the Low Road into the jungle and agrees with me that yes, he did end up in front of us. And of course, that means he gets lippy for not having a woman in front of him. Good charge.
· Wet Brazilian points out that we did not have Tiger Lily to lead us astray tonight, but there was an apprentice. Two Jugs did a good job on going the wrong several times.
· Steptoe, from the sleaze capital of Pattaya, has a slinky little top for Shoe Shopper, who somehow manages to push her ample assets into it.
· Phony Dick asked Mr. Potato Head why he was wearing a dragon flag around his shoulders. He replied it reminded him of his mother in law.
On on to The Frigid’ Toad.
Scribed by Cock Radio.