The ‘Can or Cannot Lah,’ Run
Hares: Kan Not Kan & Kan The Kobra
Sengkang Riverside Park
On On: Coffee shop down the road.
‘Can’ comes from Old English, cunnan, meaning ‘to know, or ‘to be able.’
‘Kan,’ comes from Hokkien, meaning ‘f*#k.’
Which brings us to tonight’s run.
Can the Hare set a good run?
Is he a cunnan of a Hare?
Or will it be a matter of Kan The Hare?
Oh well, he always can Kan The Kobra.
The Run
Can the Hare make it back for the start of the run? Cannot. Off we go and the first obstacle is the TPE. Can we go under it? Can. Shoe Shopper reaches the other side and turns parallel to the TPE. Can we hold back, expecting she is on a T Check, wonders Maggot? Can, and yes it was a T. Along the edge of the Sungei Punggol we ran, led by a Hare. Can Kan The Kobra sweep from the front? Can.
Eventually we were surrounded by water to the left and serious water to the right. Can we cross to the right? Cannot. Thankfully we took the water to the left for a crossing. ‘Is there a bridge somewhere?’ asked some opportunist.
‘Can someone fall in, more like it?’ I thought. Handbag managed to stumble and fall face first in the water. Can was the answer.
Along a fence line, lost trail. Can it be back and into the forest? Can. Shoe Shopper leads us over branches, under branches, thorns, and shiggy. Bent over double, sometimes on hands and knees, I thought, ‘Can I take much more of this?’ Cannot. I retreated to the safety of the fence line, along with several other notable runners, including Jack Off and Boo.
A nice piece of downhill tarmac. Can this be the end of the nasty stuff? Back into the jungle. Answer is cannot. Barking dogs indicate a Thai illegal’s hut. Can the Hare have a drink stop in the jungle for us? Cannot.
Can trail go back through the tunnel under the TPE? Can. A nice winding bush trail brought us out eventually onto a track, where we were greeted by the walkers.
And is that a Hare up there laying the home trail? Kan Not Kan, can. And the other Hare 50 meters in front of him, still sweeping from the front? Kan the Kobra, also can! Can a Hare sweeper be in front of their co Hare who is still marking the Home Trail? In this case, can lah!
A 6.01km run, right on 1 hour for the FRB’s, led by Shoe Shopper, Stiff, Maggot, Comes Quietly and yours truly. And 1 hour 30 minutes for the stragglers, led in on the Gypsy Wagon, containing Blood Shit, Bit On The Side, Leg Over (who was too tired to even get a leg over the orange bunting fence at the car park), Lethal Weapon, Singaporn, Wet N Ready, and Big Head. What a troupe!
And what a canny run.
The Circle: Calling for a Circle, Shoe Shopper amends this to form an oval, given the confined space between 2 cars we have. Boo & Stiffy do a bit of car park traffic control, commandeer 4 orange witches hats and place them across the road to block us off from thru traffic. The oval then springs out into a real Circle, and everyone is happy. Apart from the couple whose car we trapped inside our compound!
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Intermission takes place while Boo & Stiffy remove the orange witches hats to let the trapped car out of our compound. Popcorn anyone? Good run was the eventual verdict, despite the Hare being very self critical of his effort.
Tell us about your On On: Coffee Shop, just down the road. And having been to previous KNK’s on on’s there, they serve up great food too!
Next week’s run: Lethal Weapon & Singaporn, Lorong Sesaui.
Visitors / Returnees: 3 possibilities here.
1. There were none.
2. Shoe Shopper forgot to announce them.
3. I forgot to write them down.
I believe possibility 2 wins this one.
Virgins: Not on your sweet bippy.
Lipstick: Shoe Shopper quickly decided there were no naughty boys tonight. Her decision had nothing to do with the fact she forgot to bring the lipstick, again.
Tits: Father Anus, who was standing disguised with his Tits between Loose Change and Twin Towers, tried to determine who made off with the lewd porno book he accidently brought along last week. He brings in Stiffy and blames him. Stiffy proclaims his innocence, and gets everyone to look at the scribe, and claimed I was sitting there with guilt all over my face. In I am dragged for something I did not do. Finally, the real culprit owns up. In comes Hand Bag, the taker of the porn book. I want compensation.
Dick: Having the Dick passed to me from FCB, I was back in again. There was a crashing bulldozer on the run tonight. This Hasher bashed his way through fallen tree trunks, snapping them in half like they were twigs. After crashing through his third log, he turned back to glance proudly at his handiwork, and to see who had witnessed his show of muscle. And promptly tripped over a stick, literally bringing him back to earth. Well-done Hand Bag. Tits and Dick, ac dc.
Awards – 150 runs – Lethal Weapon. Off off off. But no off. Awwwe!
150 runs – Wet n Wild, and off it comes.
AOB
· Slowcum gets in our resident used car salesman, Stiffy, to sell a Mitsubishi, as someone has not claimed the keys yet. In comes a forgetful Jane to claim them.
· However, Jane is not finished with yet, and I call her back in. After tonight’s run, she was complaining of being ‘sticky.’ She also was heard calling the Circle a ‘ring.’ And so a Hash naming is performed, and Jane will now forever be named as Sticky Ring.
· Kan Not Kan tries his best to come in for a charge, but somehow was not seen by Shoe Shopper.
· Instead, Slowcum is invited in, and charges Posh Nash and Singaporn for having a private party. Committee members setting an example.
· Kan Not Kan again tries his best to come in for a charge, but again somehow was not seen by Shoe Shopper.
· This time Sneaky Comer comes in and asks for someone from the construction industry – Maggot. And an angry female ang moh – Loose Change. As half the car park was blocked off by the construction workers, Loose Change decided to remove their barricade so she could park her car. When challenged by the Construction Foreman, she turned and told him ‘Piss off!’ Lack of respect to the construction industry.
· Kan Not Kan, becoming very vocal and jumping up and down, again tries his best to come in for a charge, but for the 3rd time is again somehow was not seen by Shoe Shopper.
· This time Maggot tells us how this is the 3rd time in 10 days he has done a run from this run site. He then charges Kan Not Kan with child abuse. Tonight’s run was a copy of the Horror’s Run here 10 days ago. And KNC set a run here last Sunday. 10 minutes before Sunday’s Run, Maggot got a phone call from Kan Not Kan who was still out setting the run. ‘I’m lost, here are the instructions to start the run,’ was the distress call. And 10 minutes before tonight’s run, Maggot got a phone call. Yes, from KNK, ‘ I’m lost, here are the instructions to start the run.’ Give SOS a note.
· Kan Not Kan, now very very vocal, jumping up and down and waving his arms in the air, is again somehow not seen by Shoe Shopper.
· Hand Bag tells us that Sticky Ring has an interesting car, it travels in nautical miles.
· Kan Not Kan, now threatening to jump up and down and wave his arms in the air while naked, is finally invited in by Shoe Shopper.
· Kan Not Kan tells us that there are dedicated Hashers and not so dedicated Hashers. Hand Bag ran for 1 hour before tonight’s run. (Is that dedicated or just plain stupid?) He then tries to provide further evidence of a Hasher who runs before a run, but Maggot completely denies it. Anyhow, onto the not so dedicated – Stiff, Stiffener and Boo for taking off 30% of the run. (Is that not just plain smart?)
· Stiffy comes in for his weekly whinge, this time on Shoe Shopper for not picking up paper on a T Check, resulting in him for once actually having to do a T Check.
· Hooray gets in the Birthday Boys, Kan Not Kan and Hand Bag. Are they twins?
· I gave a plug for the Japanese benefit concert at Blue Jazz, in the Arab St area, with a couple of Friday Japanese Hashers performing, G String and Goro. (It was last Thursday and got a massive turn out)
· Finally, Hooray gave KNK an insensitive charge, I won’t go into the details – too sensitive to mention (in other words, I missed the rest of the charge.)
On on to the Coffee Shop down the road.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
It’s a long wait for the next St Patricks Day, so here’s one more:
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!’ That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, ‘I won the prize for the Best toast of the night’
She said, ‘Aye, did ye now? And what was your toast?’
John said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.’
‘Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!’ Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, ‘John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.’
She said, ‘Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.’