The ‘Pre Royal Wedding’ Run
Hares: His Highness, Royal Right Tit & King Shaggy Dick of Leicester, The Second.
Car Park next to the Royal House of Long, Upper Thompson Rd.
On On; The Royal House of Long.
Subs for this quarter should now have been paid.
The Run
With the Royal Wedding only 2 days away, it was an honour to have our own piece of royalty here setting the run, none other than His Highness, Royal Right Tit, accompanied by King Shaggy Dick of Leicester, The Second. I wonder which one has the Royal Ring?
After Gyspy finished polishing the Virgin’s running shoes, we were off.
Well, the Hares did a lot of teasing and kept us wondering just when we would finally go into the jungle. We followed the cleared area between the back of houses and the jungle for ages. And ages. Finally we went in, only to be sent out again by a T check.
As the rain came down even heavier, we finally arrived at Venus Drive. Now, finally here was our chance to get into the jungle along the McRitchie Trail. Nope, we went the opposite way and crossed Upper Thompson and into the Sin Ming Estate. A couple of Indians on their push bikes almost ended up in a canal as the Pack charged past them. Some clever little back lanes and clearings eventually brought us back out into Upper Thompson diagonally opposite the Long House for a sprint to home.
1hour, 7kms, 0 National Parks.
The Circle: The former virgin GM, Wet Brazilian, gets the damp gathering together with ‘Form a Circle.’ Well done.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too dry, not enough lightning, too much National Park, not enough corgis, too many Queens.
Tell us about your On On: The Royal House of Long, international selection of fine food. Note, someone did get rather sick last time we ate here, but no one has died yet.
Next week’s run: The Velcro Twins, end of Springleaf Road. Jack Off kindly asks Thursday reps, Forced Entry and Virginia Slim, to pick up their paper from their run in the same area. Slim asks who would like to come and help him lay paper all over Springleaf next Wednesday morning.
Visitors / Returnees: Camel Humper, Belcher, Veggie Queen, Billy Jean, Numb Nuts, Jurassic Dick, La Boya, Krit, And Posh Duck returning again.
Virgins: 2 – Azean, Arena. The Virgins take considerable time to do the deed with their down down, prompting Gypsy to declare ‘No wonder they’re virgins.’
Lipstick: Hand Bag, Cock Radio and Camel Humper.
Tits: Shoe Shopper is looking rather voluptuous tonight – ‘Aren’t I always?’ she asks and comes in. When examining her new state of the art, multi coloured, aerodynamic, streamlined lycra triathlon suit, it was taken from her by Stiffy who went straight for the crutch, giving it a full examination and sniff. Crutch approved. Take the Tits for that.
Dick: Father Anus, it seems, is having a lot of trouble releasing his grip on the Dick at the moment.
Awards – Zilch
AOB:
· Hoo Ray, who has been in better charging form than a raging bull lately, calls in the 2 front runners, Tiger Lily and Camel Humper, for not completing the full trail but claiming they did. Despicable.
· Kan Not Kan wants Hoo Ray and an English teacher, Shaggy Dick will do despite him being a maths teacher. Hoo Ray mentioned the front runners failed to take ‘an overhead bridge across the road.’ He asks our English expert, ‘is there any other sort of bridge besides one that goes over the road? If it went under the road, it would be an underpass, correct?’ Correct verifies SD2, so speek gooder Engrish Who Ray. [Editor’s note: please refer to http://www.goodenglish.org.sg/].
· Stiffy was taking his empty water bottle to the trash bag, but was told by Zipp that he should take it away and recycle it. Yes, a good greenie point. ‘What, take it away and piss in it and drink instead of a getting a new water?’ exclaims Stiffy, who obviously saw a yellow side to this green issue. Here’s to NeWater, he ought to be publicly pissed on…
· Maggot was honoured to receive a Hash award recently for setting the wettest run, along with his fellow Aussies. The pair of shorts was good, but just a little tight on his 85kg frame. Maybe his petite 45kg, size 8 Asian wife would fit into them? Mmm, no, just a tad little small on her as well. Ok, perhaps they will fit his 8 year old son? So Maggot produces a photo of Little Maggot looking resplendent in a pair of Harriet’s shorts, complete with ‘Wettest Run of the Year 2010-11’ printed on them. Well, it was the ‘wettest run,’ perhaps they shrunk.
· Hand Bag has just recovered from his down down 5 minutes, finally getting the taste of the hash cup cleaning fluid from his mouth. I wonder if he gargled with Stiffy’s recycled NeWater? That would certainly kill everything nasty.
· Belcher has had something brewing inside him for a while, since the English teacher charge, and decides it’s time to let it out. He knows that teachers are struggling in the UK and Oz, but now the Japanese teachers have a problem too. It was something about Tiger Lily not understanding the mass x gravity formula for running up hills. Ah, that explains why I was going backwards.
· Tiger Lily was told by Hand Bag that Shoe Shopper can’t speak English at all. Actually, Hand Bag, who can be a tad difficult to understand, didn’t actually say that. What he said was ‘…’ Ah, stuffed if I know what he said.
· King Shaggy Dick the Second asks Sneaky Comer if he was boxing last night? Yes, he was. And did you get knocked out? Yes, he did. Was it a woman you were playing against? Yes, it was. In the red corner was Wet N Wild who delivered a knockout punch to her husband. Oh boy, play stations are fun.
· Not Tonight noticed Camel Humper sucking on breath mints. Was he after a hot date? Who was he standing next to? The 2 Hares were either side of him. Here’s to gay boys.
· Shoe Shopper does some quizzing on Maggot’s son’s age – are you sure he’s only 8 she asks? Maggot reflects for a moment, then says ‘Oh shit, he had his 9th Birthday last year.’ Shopper then checks if Maggot knows his son’s name? ‘Boy,’ was the reply.
· The GM brings Stiffy in, holding an umbrella. Stiffy had his arm in a sling all week at work, but somehow has made a quick recovery tonight.
· Cock Radio patiently waited while a visitor extracted a very nasty prickly branch from his shirt. And my patience was rewarded by a swing back to the face when he finally released himself from the prickles. Thanks.
· Sneaky Comer noticed that one of the virgins was dressed well, in Hash gear. Well done Uncle Jonathon. But the other virgin was dressed in nice shiny running shoes and a white running top, very appropriate for tonight’s weather. Not so well done, husband of virgin.
· Hand Bag thanks the Hares for all the wet T shirt opportunities.
· The GM gets in all the Royal Subjects, including Prince Harry.
On on to the Royal House of Long. (after consuming a rather fiery laska, it was confirmed that King Shaggy of Leicester had the Royal Ring the next morning).
Scribed by Cock Radio.
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. ‘Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?’
When Mary Margaret didn’t stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
‘God Almighty!’ shouted Mary Margaret. The Nun said, ‘Very good’ and continued teaching her class.
A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, ‘Who is our Lord and Savior?’
But Mary didn’t stir from her slumber Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.
‘Jesus Christ!!!’ shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, ‘Very good,’ and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.
The Nun asked her a third question…’What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?’
Again, Johnny came to the rescue.
This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, ‘If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half and stick it up your arse!’
The nun fainted.