The ‘Just Another Birthday Run.’
Hares: Comes Quietly & Twin Towers.
Where: Jalan Kampong Chantek
On On: Red Lantern.
The Run
This one included another encounter with the train, another wet tunnel and multiple circle checks. There was some confusion over which trail was the correct one, but the women were leading tonight. Home in about 50 minutes, approximately 5km.
The Circle: Wet Brazilian, the real GM, starts the circle. Today is a special run for Comes Quietly who is turning 50. Birthday cake in circle – Why was he born so beautiful? Blow, blow, blow old man!
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? The GM said it was a good run, but Ad Nauseum said not enough shaggy. A good run was declared with a down down of champagne by the Hares.
Tell us about your On On: At the traditional Red Lantern – a short drive away.
Next week’s run: 10 Maida Vale, Seletar On On to be announced.
Visitors / Returnees: Belcher, Malfunktion, (and many others).
Virgins: Four virgins this week –- 3 females and 1 male. All survived the run and made it back to site. Two virgins asked for water to down down. One could not finish all the water. Fat Crashing Bastard wants to train female virgins to sip and swallow properly.
Lipstick: No lipstick tonight – men were just too slow. Virgin male was called in as a representative to receive lipstick – here’s to the Naughty Boy!
Tits: Were missing, but somehow they appeared with Malfunktion. Chef from the Cricket Club offered him 8 legs of venison for $10 – is that too cheap?
Years ago Ugly Bum invited to test for medical awareness – 2 minutes guys getting nailed today. Tiger Lily substituted for Handbag and Twin Towers substituted for Camel Humper. Ask each a word and say what it means.
1. Dilate (UB – open up) Answer: To live long
2. Fester (TT – open legs again) (TL – operation) Answer: picking faster than someone
3. Tumor (TT – Cancer) (TL – Cancer cell) Answer: Two more
4. Impotence (TT – What is that?) Answer: Distinguished, important
5. Post Operative (TT – taking the balls) (TL – what?) Answer: Letter carrier
Tits go to Twin Towers!
Dick: A Dickless run again.
Awards – Most creative run from AGM – Ad Nauseum, Ugly Bum, Off, off, off!
AOB:
· Last week there was a celebration in the Circle – Shoe Shopper’s Hash wedding and Wet Patch is already out of town. How is the marriage so far? Wet Patch is in Iraq – not much of a honeymoon. Within three hours of getting married Shoe Shopper ditches the ring – marriage only lasted three hours. She ought to be publically pissed on!
· Slocum called in visitor from Colombo who he was chatting up he said. Asked if he knew Stiff replied only by reputation. That is why I came with his wife. Feel free to come again as many times.
· Not Tonight calls in GM for missing hash for two weeks. Missed the fact that the Brazilian government passed new laws on the wearing of underwear. From now on Brazilian underwear has to have hazard warnings and slogans. Not Tonight brought the special new underwear with health slogans for the GM to put on. Large white panties with warnings: Use a condom, Just say not tonight, Smoking kills. Sexy, sexy! GM puts on panties, but Stiffy would like his tighty whities back please!
· Fat Crashing Bastard called Kan Not Kan and Too Easy in Circle. Early in hash when these two met Kan Not Kan was leading Too Easy astray – if I am going to go down you are going down with me. Here’s to the abusers!
· GM appears back in Circle – appears to have lost her new underwear!
· Slocum calls in Tiger Lily. She found a check today while going into stream and grapping a tree for support, falls over, breaks tree and lands on Circle.
· Tiger Lily calls in Too Easy and Stiffy. What’s common with these two – they bike endurance races. Stiffy was 24th, Too Easy was 1st. Congratulations – they can do it all night long. Here’s to endurance!
· Mother Tongue calls in Fat Crashing Bastard. Where I go, all the girls will go. Here’s to the bull shitter – he’s true blue!
· Fat Crashing Bastard calls in Tiger Lily. He knows her well and wonders what’s wrong. She never follows paper and tonight she’s swinging like Tarzan. Tiger Lily is suffering from Paris Syndrome, which only affects Japanese women. They see Paris as beautiful and have mental breakdown because it is not. Singaporn look-a-like Mother Tongue is the token Parisian.
· Tiger Lily refers to an article on the British Social website about countries and humor. Humorous countries: Brazilian, American, French. Non-humor countries: Germany has least humor.
· Slocum calls in Fat Crashing Bastard. His lovely wife was way behind the pack. She can’t believe it and is going to kill him. You would think he would call when checking? Did he lose his voice?
· Kan Not Kan – Americans – 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. Female virgins in circle – wanted to know words to main hash songs. Here’s to the hash men they’re true blue…
· Not Tonight calls in female virgins. The virgins were in the Singapore Art Museum on Monday. Quicksand is a Singapore artist. Virgin #1 also a Singapore Artist. Virgin #2 was talking to Not Tonight about Virgin #1 art and asked what is your name? Jo Hobman and they both know David Hobman. Virgin #2 said David Hobman changed my life – he was my teacher! He’s so old – she’s so young.
· Malfunktion says too many petty charges tonight.
· GM calls in male virgin. Cannot leave him out – he was running with headphones. Did not talk to anyone – so unsocial. He ought to be publically pissed on! Male virgin will not leave – wants to be spanked again!
· Tiger Lily calls in Twin Towers. Cup of coffee early this morning – call your darling Ya Yang but he calls you Sa Yong. Ya Yang is shorter version of Sa Yang. Duh – same number of syllables! Give her a note!
On on to the Red Lantern
Scribed by Big Head, sent in by Wet Brazilian, names of visitors and virgins in Stiffener’s handbag.