The Walking Telepathy Run
Hares: Father Anus, Sybil, and Dances with Kerbs
Where: Car Park A, Dairy Farm Road
On On: On Site Japanese (Wasabi) Pizza
The Run
Father Anus has been long missing in action, so it was a relief to see him at the run site, beer in hand. A bit more concerning was that we were in a National Parks car park, and obviously heading into the reserve. Never fear, Father Anus had spoken to the ranger, he said. So where did the run go? Good question. Over to car park B after confounding the front runners with a T-check that had them going round in circles, a circle check that had them going backwards, and some lost trail that had no doubt been picked up by the ranger. We ran on Walker’s Track, up hill and down dale, and back home through Echo valley in about 40 minutes, which had the front runners scratching their heads and looking for additional trail.
The Circle: Big Head called the circle to order at 7:45, surely one of the earliest in a while. However, the hare was on the phone calling for pizza, so on to something else for a while….
Next week’s run: One of the hares is already in the circle, the other one joins her and they do the traditional week before consultation before deciding on Bukit Batok Worker’s Canteen. A great run is promised, a drink stop, and Mr Ho American food for after. What else could we ask for?
The hare is ready now, so
Crikey, what did we think of that for a run? “Too long, 1/10 of the run we did two weeks ago”, etc. Good run declared for Father Anus and his helpers, Sybil and Dances with Kerbs.
Tell us about your On On: On site, Japanese Pizza provided by the hare, please stay.
Visitors / Returnees: Welcome Belcher (“join or piss off” was called), Vibrator, welcome back Posh Duck. I think there were a few others but forgot to get the list.
Virgins: Wet Pet brought a virgin but she disappeared after the run.
Lipstick: Vibrator and Wet Patch (“got lost”) are forming a bit of a habit. They were joined by Handbag.
Tits: Ah, that explains Posh Duck appearing twice in a row, he has to get rid of the tits. He has some candidates:
· Father Anus, for setting the run without a recce.
· Ad Nauseum, who apparently didn’t like the run and doesn’t like the on on (“Pizza gives him the shits”).
· Wet Pet who gave Posh Duck some form of cultural education while going down the stairs with her hands at her sides like an Irish Setter. Sorry I am not sure either.
The circle decides on Ad Nauseum. Why? “Because we can”, says Big Head.
Dick: A Dickless run again. Father Anus has grown attached but promises to bring it back next week.
Awards – None, tonight!
AOB:
· Handbag was standing at a 45 degree angle to Tiger Lily earlier tonight. He spent a fruitless few minutes trying to get Tiger Lily to stand still for a re-enactment. Anyway, she was wearing a shirt several sizes too big which gave him “a good view of her breasts”. OK, so give her a drink.
· Deep Throat had a very hard day, and came to the hash late, after the run. Seeking a bit of comradeship, she went up to two of her favourite people for a comforting hug. What reponse did she get? “What do you want”? On in Virginia Slim and Big Head.
· Big Head takes some umbrage and suggests she will pay the hash back next week – “do you want shaggy up to here (indicating knees), or here (neck)”?
· Hooray has Kannot Kan in as a look-a-like Scotsman for Bagless Too, who apparently got the better of a tree limb during the week – the tree has a small bump and Bagless Too has a few stitches.
· Big Head has noticed that Croc Hunter was nice enough to erect a private shower for the modest ladies of the hash tonight, so he gets a drink.
· Shoe Shopper points out that it wasn’t all good nature, what about the cameras he has installed? He gets another drink.
· Sneaky Comer has school-teacher mathematicians (represented by Shoe Shopper) and a former On Sec to task. As easy as it might be to count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and so on up to 2,000, it seems to have been beyong the Harriets over the years, with more than one example of the odd skipped run (eg 360, 361, 363, 374, 375) and more than one example of duplicate runs (the most recent being in Jackoff’s reign). An appropriate song is sung; “B.I.M.B.O”…..
· Deep Throat has more on her bad day therapy – on talking about it with Kannot Kan, he advised her to hit Hooray. Not sure who got the drink, I guess all of them.
· Wet Patch has Tiger Lily and Open to the Floor to task on their sense of direction. [Editor’s note: Paging Wet Patch, do you ever read the newsletter? Because there is a nice theme in recurring irony from the last few weeks if you read hard enough]. Anyway, the run was simple enough, out the path, turn left, go around in a clockwise direction, return to the same path and back to the run site. But Tiger Lily and Open to the Floor, on reaching the path to the run site, had lost their way and headed off to do the run again.
· Father Anus comes in to the circle to report on where he has been. Working his ass off was, I think, the expression. So one day he returned home, weary from a long day, and worried about his upcoming run. There was an email from the on-sec asking if he was around? Yes, Father Anus answered, at 2am. But he was busy, could someone take over the run? The answer came back within a few minutes “no, everyone is on holiday, you will have to do the run”. How, Father Anus asks, did the on sec poll the membership and get all negative responses within 5 minutes at 2am? On in Sneaky Comer as a proxy for the on sec.
· Slocum piles on. What was Wet ‘n Wild doing up at 2am answering emails, he asks? What do you think, responds Sneaky Comer. Give him another drink.
· Sybil was willing to help out with the run at the last minute. She wants to know with all this modern technology like email and facebook Father Anus couldn’t get someone to help him. On in Shoe Shopper, Virginia Slim, Boo, and Big Head as a sample of the technology literate unhelpful ones.
· Tiger Lily calls Singaporn and Handbag into the circle. “How long have you been in Asia?”, she asks Handbag. 2, 3, or 5 years is the answer. To Singaporn, “how long have you been in Asia?” Less, I think. So after the run, Singaporn was squatting down. Handbag remarked that he couldn’t do that. Give the squatters a note [Ed: perhaps they should visit Malaysia?]
· Before the run, Slocum asked Father Anus if it was a long run? No, said Father Anus, I had Sybil and Dances with Kerbs chatting away at the back all the time we were setting the run. The sooner it was over, the better?
· Sneaky Comer finally understands how it is that Sybil always finds the run, despite the fact that she is the only one on the hash without an email. It must be bush telepathy! Or the bush telegraph. Anyway, give her a note.
On on to pizza.
Scribed by Sneaky Comer.