The ‘Three Wise Monkey’s’Run.
Hares: Shaggy Dick Too, Cock Radio & Sneaky Comer.
Where: Dempsey, car park behind the church
On On; Boxer’s Cottage (Condo??) Pie.
The Run
Up the steps for an immediate Circle Check. Into a bit of new jungle/grass area, Wet Patch was not content with following the trail that had been trampled by those in front and did his own trail blazing. Watch out for the 3 metre python. Circle Check over Holland Rd had the Pack scratching their heads, although one male was seen scratching a different part of his anatomy. Back through the big car park we use to run from, and Camel Humper bolted off when he saw the walkers way up in front. I ask the question –‘Do walkers who are short cutting qualify as having a woman in front?’
Into more grassland heading towards Queensway, and a nasty T check down the steps.
Eventually out onto Queensway before cutting back in past the flora centre. Wet Patch decided to consult his Chinese Proverbs to provide him with guidance at the next Circle Check. After checking almost all the way to the Remand Centre only to have to come all the way back, he was heard muttering something about where Confucius can shove his Chinese Proverbs. Personally, I think it is anatomically impossible.
Into the estate, along a canal and give the Indian road workers a thank you for stopping work while we passed and not clobbering us with their tractor. Through the hole in the fence to the back of the old driving range. Along Sneaky Comer’s cobra drain and out onto Dempsey Field.
Short cutters then headed across the field and up the hill to home. The ridgy didge runners went out the side of the field to the Pipeline before returning to the car park from the Tanglin Rd side.
A bloody good run Hares, well done and thank you for all your efforts and work you put into this fantastic run, and filling in for Tiger Lily, and helping the Harriet’s out. How we wish there were more of your type in the Club, we don’t know what we would do without you. Good stuff.
The Circle:
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Possible run of the year said a number of runners. Well, at least 3 anyway. But the rest did say it was a good run. True.
Tell us about your On On: Boxer’s Cottage Pie, alternative Fish Pond Pie, salad, garlic bread and a Brownie thrown in, all for $10. (Not sure how they made the Cottage Pie as they are no longer in Springleaf – how does a condo classify as a cottage?)
Next week’s run: Pakistan Rd., up Sembawang way amongst black and whites. Tell the boss now you have to leave work early next Wednesday. Like about lunch time. Check your fuel gauge.
Visitors / Returnees: Wonder Off, Trash, Phony Dick, Holdem, Foldem, ipood, Knobby Boy Scout, Ayam Zinking.
Virgins: No virgins exist around Dempsey.
Lipstick: Holdem, who does his best to take over the Circle in declaring his innocence on the grounds it was his first Harriet’s run and was not made aware of the female in front stipulation. His defence soon fell apart with some incriminating evidence submitted by the GM. Camel Humper also pleaded innocent, stating that the short cutting walkers were in front of him. Technicality overruled, guilty.
The GM is then charged for being lazy – she left the lippy in the car and couldn’t be bothered getting it.
Tits: ipood, seemingly a little uncertain of his sexuality because instead of wearing the Tit’s, he goes and gets them out of his bag where he has hidden them, then declares he needs some thinking time. Ayam Thinking huh! Oh well, he is American.
Dick: A Dickless run again. Father Anus is missing.
Awards – Zilch
AOB:
· Not Tonight has had her modesty outraged by 2 males tonight. Knobby Boy Scout stripped naked and stood beside the change tent for 10 minutes. She copped a rear view (how did she know it was 10 minutes if she was so outraged?) while a group of Harriet’s sitting on the gutter copped a side on view and possibly a stiff neck. We hope Knobby did not suffer any stiffness.
The second male causing outrage of modesty was Handbag, who was heard emitting loud groaning/moaning sounds while alone on the back seat of his car. (‘More fibre needed’ was the advice from Maggot.)
· Shaggy Dick Too called in his co – hares, which of course is against all principles of setting a run. This charge turned out to be an attempt at assassination of my character. Normally I will only print the truth in these reports, but I will write here what SD2 said, just to show you how unbelievable it is.
1. That I slept in on National Day and missed the recee.
2. That I left my bag of flour, paper and chalk in our work car park.
3. That I had no money to pay for the taxi.
4. That I forgot my hand phone and was unable to call Shoe Shopper to get my bag.
5. That I marked a Circle Check instead of a T Check.
6. That I then got lost after setting the Check.
7. That I saw some mates from Oz playing cricket on Dempsey Field and stopped to see them instead of setting the final loop of the run.
8. That I preferred a lift with Maggot to staying for our on on.
Incredible accusations that deserve no further comment. On on!
· Boo has spotted Father Anus sneaking in around the back in his business clothes. Ah, the missing National Day Hare. Where’s the Dick?
· Not Tonight charges Phony Dick for getting Hashers to spy on his daughter. Just who is giving her an examination and when?
· Wet Patch is into Feng Shui, Chinese Proverbs, Fortune Cookies, Chop Suey, Chop Sticks etc. but he feels he was been let down by taking the advice of an ancient proverb that resulted in him being stranded up Shit Creek in a barbed wire canoe without a paddle. Just remember, man who run in front of car get tired.
· Jack Off had her after run top selected by Slow Cum. Which explains why it was so skimpy – he was feeling a bit horny and wanted her to turn him on.
· Maggot has a ‘race ism’ charge on Cock Radio, who was heard to declare that the Walkers don’t count as Hashers. (I was referring to Camel Humper who raced off in front of the lead lady when he saw the walkers up ahead!)
· Ipood has finally finished his thinking and charges Ayam Zinking (a result of his ‘Ayam Thinking’) with child cruelty. A toddler had lost his shoe on the path, but before his parents could turn around to retrieve it, Ayam Zinking heaved his right foot into it and gave it a mighty kick that David Beckham would have been proud of and sent it flying 30 metres into the long grass. He really is the meanest….Now take the Tits and don’t kick them around at home.
· Not Tonite asks Father Anus, a law abiding Singaporean, where he goes to get a new TV. Courts he replies. Then she asks a rabble rousing English anarchist hooligan, Fat Crashing Bastard, where he goes to get a new TV. Any shop with a broken window he says, but the final result is he ends up in court too.
· Maggot was at the Oz High Commission, when his son noticed a drivers licence stuck behind the glass window. Maggot explained that some careless, forgetful and irresponsible person had mistakenly left it behind. His son then said that he shouldn’t talk about his teacher like that. Yep, Shoe Shopper had left her licence behind the other week.
On on to Boxer’s Condo Pie
Scribed by Cock Radio.
This week’s Chinese Proverb
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.