The ‘Virgin Camel Humper’ Run.
Hares: Camel Humper, Shoe Shopper, Wet Patch.
Where: Blackmore Drive
On On: On site Mexican Boxer.
The Run
When you run the first 10 minutes without a check, and the Hares are telling you to hurry up, fair chance you are in for a long run. It was Not Tonight that led the field off, dashing down the new road like a greyhound. 2 minutes later, however, she found a lamp post and stopped – was she going to have a pee like a greyhound? Nope, she was hanging onto it for support after exhausting herself with that lightning dash of speed.
Across onto the ex Malay railway line, which now has more granite on it than Fred Flintstone’s quarry. Finally the 1st Check. But this led to an even more draining bit of running.
Out to 6th Avenue and eventually ending up at Greenleaf Park, but no one was in a fit state to make use of the fitness stations. Mountain goat territory as we climbed a steep grassy embankment. In fact a goat would have been right at home eating the flowers and plants of the garden we exited through back onto the road. I was having no part of a climb up and over Clementi Rd. Sure enough it was a T Check.
Down onto the ex railway line again and up onto Old Holland Rd. Some walkers and runners saw this as a suitable departure point to head for home. The hardy souls, and perhaps foolish souls, ploughed on out onto Ulu Pandan and eventually Clementi Rd. Through the jungle and drop down the embankment onto the old old railway line that still has tracks on it.
At this stage, it was well after 7, and Sneaky Comer, who had got a 2 for 1 special curry offer in Delhi recently (buy 1 curry and you see it twice) decided to head on down to the canal rather than risk the darkness of the jungle. Only thing was, he was the first person to come along the canal in several months and the trail was so overgrown he had to head to the water’s edge and fight off the cobras and monitor lizards.
Out at the canal on the other side, and it was Twin Towers leading the pack in, with a troop of males behind her with their tongues hanging out.
7.77 kilometres in 77minutes for front runners. Get your 4D numbers out of that combination. Well done Hares, always a great area. But where the f#*k was the 6pm train to KL??
The Circle:
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? The first run was voted good and so was the second run. Too many humps.
Tell us about your On On: Boxer’s Mexican on site.
Next week’s run: An atmosphere of fear descends over the Circle as Hooray strolls in and announces he is setting another run in Little India. Bring a survival kit – taxi money ($20min), torch, compass, emergency rations, toothbrush and toilet paper. [Ed: if your memory is weak or you weren’t here last year, see http://www.singaporeharriets.com/Newsletters/SingaporeHarrietsRun1947.pdf for your warning].
Visitors / Returnees: Yes, but I haven’t got the list. Welcome all of you.
Virgins: 3 gals and a guy if I remember correctly.
Lipstick: Vibrator, Stiff and Ollie.
Tits: I don’t recall this happening either. [Ed: Ayam Zinking has the tits].
Dick: The Dick makes a return, and is in the hands of the GM, but she says it is not her Dick and passes to me to give away. Ok. The other month Shaggy Dick Too was very proud to have come in 69th in the triathlon, as he had to very carefully pace himself to ensure that he had 68 competitors in front of him to achieve this. However it turns out that the winner was disqualified at a later date, thus meaning everyone moved up one place, and thus Shaggy came in 68th. Bad luck mate..
Awards – Zilch
AOB:
· The GM has noticed the Virgin Hare lounging back in a chair while the Circle is on. Up you get Camel Humper, setting a run does not entitle you to a chair.
· The GM also displayed a new award – a Hammerhead. To be awarded to hard heads?
· Hooray was most impressed with Belcher for bringing along a harem of female virgins.
· Mother’s Tongue was not sure if Hooray could count correctly- had he included Ollie in the harem of female virgins?
· Stiffy has Singaporn in and they engage in a bit of French conversation. It seems that Gerard Depardieux, that well known Frenchman, was on a flight and asked the stewardess if he could have a pee pee. However, instead of replying oui oui, the stewardess replied non Monsieur, you cannot go for a pee pee. Well, Monsieur Deardieux really had to pee pee, so he found a bottle and proceeded to empty the contents of his bladder into it. He then handed the full bottle to the stewardess to dispose of. I am not sure if she responded with a oui oui or a non. ‘She ought to be publicly pissed on….’
· Slowcum charges Haberdash for selling gear from every Hash possible except the Harriets. Trying to get a Harriets shirt for a visitor was impossible, but would you like one from Monday Hash, Lion City, Dog Hash, Bali Hash, Saigon, Phnom Penh???
· Haberdash responds. In comes Mother’s Tongue and charges the old Committee for leaving her with all this stock from other Hash’s to sell. Bring back the new Committee.
· Shaggy Dick Too thanks Camel Humper for a great run, and as a virgin hare, he is curious as to how many recees he did. But no, he’s not going to ask him, we don’t want to know, do we?
· Vibrator was at the back of the pack, after doing a check he claims, and not sure where everyone had gone when he saw a Hare way in the distance picking up paper. Thinking that Shoe Shopper was sweeping and picking up paper, and therefore on trail, he decided to follow her. However she was neither on trail nor sweeping – she had picked up some paper as she wanted to go for a pee pee.
· Shaggy Dick Too overheard Jack Off on the run – ‘I may not be able to run as fast as Tiger Lily, but I’ve got a better arse!’ I think we could have an arse off coming up.
· Sneaky Comer informs us that this explains why the front runners never call T checks – they are always too busy looking at the front running girl’s bums!
· Belcher complains that he had to pay for 2 Taxis to get himself, Veggie Queen and his Harem of Virgins to the run. The Virgins were then 10 minutes into the run when they saw some mud, decided they were not getting their shoes dirty and turned around back to the beer wagon where they sat and drank for the rest of the night!
· On the Virgin theme, when the GM called the Virgins in at the start of the Circle, I noticed one of the virgins giggling, pointing at herself to the others and, putting her hand over her mouth with more giggling and generally showing a sense of amusement at being called virgin. Is she really a virgin??
On on to Boxer’s Mexican
Scribed by Cock Radio.
This week’s Chinese Proverb
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag.
He sits down and places the bag on the counter.
The bartender walks up and asks what’s in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about
9″ high and sets him on the counter.
He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.
He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.
The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful
Piece by Mozart!
“Where on earth did you get that?” says the bartender.
The man responds by reaching into the paper bag.
This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and
says: “Here. Rub it.”
So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there’s a gust of smoke
and a beautiful genie is standing before him.
“I will grant you one wish… Just one wish… each person is only
allowed one!”
The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, “I want
A million bucks!”
A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed
by another duck, then another.
Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!
The bartender turns to the man and says, “Y’know, I think your
Genie’s’ a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million Ducks.”
“No shit!!” says the man, “do you really think I asked for a 9 inch Pianist?