The ‘this is just a short” Run.
Hares: Mother’s Tongue with the annual guest appearances of Jana and Steve?
Where: Labrador Park in the “new” gravel car park
On On: Labrador Seafood
Life
Hello everyone, sorry the newsletter is a bit early but my wife is in the bar and the only rugby on TV is USA vs Russia. Riveting stuff (not exactly) from two countries that are better known for other sporting pursuits (the US playing rebellious sports that are almost, but not completely unlike the sports of their former colonial masters, and Russia for drinking Vodka and shooting bears (I imagine)). But I digress. There I was minding my own business on Wednesday (collecting money for the 2000th run, sign up now!) when Shoe Shopper asked me who was scribing, with that meaningful look that suggested that I should grab a chair, a light, some paper, a pen, start writing and shut up. She helpfully backed up her meaningful look with a plaintive “it really should be a Harriet doing this, you know”.
The Run
This run will be short, stated mother hare confidently. Mmmm. Well assistant hares tend to run with us once a year and both of them look REALLY fit so I kept my own counsel and looked for any available short cutting opportunity. The front runners circled the point (Kannot Kan later insisted they short cut) while a few of us older and more cunning short cut to the waterfront. Up the hill, down the hill, out Labrador Park Road (not much other option, really, unless you do 20 laps of the park), and up Henderson Road.
Then we got into the Lock Road / Telok Blangah Hill area which has been closed off to allow a few more condos to be built. Defying an irritated workman (“you can’t go in there, lah”) we crossed the fence into the paths under the tree top walk and up to the top of the hill, where a circle check had the pack scratching their heads for a good 5 minutes. Tiger Lily had checked around the reservoir; and knowing her eyesight is very dodgy I checked again, finding paper that only 80 year old people with failing eyesight would see clearly from 100m away. On down the school road, onto the tree top walk, and back across Henderson Road for a totally unnecessary loop of Hortpark; before we head back down through the Technopark for the “sprint” back down Labrador Park Road. For me that was 1:20 which doesn’t qualify as short, but never mind.
The Circle:
The stand in GM is partly deaf at the moment, so she was on an equal footing with the circle – normally they can’t understand her, and tonight she couldn’t hear them. Nevertheless, she managed to form a circle.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Good run, thanks hares!
Tell us about your On On: Labrador Seafood, $12, with some free beer!
Next week’s run: Deep Throat & Wet Brazilian have informed us, by text, that the run will be at Dairy Farm Road, car park A (near the corner of Upper Bukit Timah Road). And before you ask, they will “skirt” the National Park.
Visitors / Returnees: Welcome Pete, First Blood, Slip It In (Bali), Ipood, Belcher, Veggie Queen, Trash, Phoney Dick, Loose Pussy (Miri). [Ed: Stiffener has the neatest writing (visitor’s list) I have EVER seen. I am tempted to save this guest list for the archives.]
Virgins: none.
Lipstick: All I can say is, Hooray is fortunate my wife can’t be bothered wearing/bringing lipstick any more.
Tits: “Some idiot forgot to bring them”, reports Zipp. [Ed: Zipp has the tits].
Dick: Shaggy Dick Too has noticed a women’s knitting circle going on down the back and asks those ladies to join the circle. Of the knitting circle, Open to the Floor is invited into the circle, and then Too Easy and Trash. Now, Shaggy Dick Too labored long and hard to bring us last week’s circle report and he wants to know who read it? Asking each of the ladies in turn to report on the secret code word hidden in the newsletter (none knew), he has Open to the Floor to task – last week she BEGGED him to write the notes because she was far too busy, and then she couldn’t spare the 5 minutes to read them. Give them all a drink and O2TF the Dick. Her feeble excuse that her computer was broken (must be a Mac) were ignored.
Awards – Zilch
AOB:
· Sneaky Comer had heard Big Head confessing to a droopy bottom during the run. Normally such a confession would be left well alone but fortunately Shaggy Dick Too provided sufficient reason (through his secret code word in the newsletter last week) for SC to feel safe enough to charge her. He was wrong. Give her a note anyway.
· Not Good Enough is “not a malicious man”. He has a story to tell, however, about asking Hooray whether he was on [Ed: stupid question, he is only ever on for the first 50m of the run], believing him, and being required to run up and down the Labrador Hill twice. While all this was going on he took advice from the hare “we have to go down” and his wife “we have to go down”, resulting in the before-said up and down, twice. Why NGE didn’t get a drink is beyond me – oh, never mind, he did. Give Mother’s Tongue, Give Way, Not Good Enough, and Hooray ALL a drink for up and down.
· Mother’s Tongue has a grudge. Not Good Enough is a teacher, doesn’t he know that up is superior?
· Sneaky Comer has another “last week’s newsletter” related charge, going out of his way to let SD2 know that at least one person read the newsletter. Up at Lock Road, Boo found trail after a check, but lacking a vagina he is not entitled to lead the pack. So he called for a woman, and encouraged them to follow trail by reporting that he had a huge python “in there”. Which caused all our lady front runners to run in the other direction, screaming. Give him a note.
· Not Good Enough has noted the increasing use of technology on the hash. He has observed people wearing heart rate monitors to make sure they exercise optimally. Tonight, however, he noticed a sad old bastard who’s heart has slipped so far he needs to wear his heart rate monitor around his knee. Give Mr Potato Head a note.
· Stiffy noticed a pair of fetching stripy pants running up Labrador Hill – but why was she running up the hill and not the nearby stairs? Miss Stripy Pants, also known as Loose Pussy from Miri Hash, gets a drink.
· Slocum is quick to point out what the rest of us are thinking – Not Tonight is not here so not tonight is the word, and Stiffy is quick to notice Miss Stripy Pants. Give him a note.
· Shoe Shopper’s hash taxi service had a new passenger tonight, Slip It In (or is it Slip ‘n Slide, I am confused), who is a “friend” of Shaggy Dick Too’s. Shoe Shopper is pleased to give him a lift to hash, anything for a fellow Aussie, she says. Until she finds out he is a f%$king Kiwi – all Kiwis get a drink.
· Kannot Kan calls in Maggot and asks him what his favourite saying is? Maggot replies “didn’t you do this charge on Sunday”? Yes, must be the answer, but few of us were there so it can do a replay. The favourite saying is “this is a hash, not a race”, and apparently Miss Stripy Pants, aka Loose Pussy, is guilty of racing. She may also be guilty of changing her name from Kam La Chau (I need a Bahasa dictionary please).
· Loose Pussy, in return, points out that she has two hash names, one for polite company and Harriets (Loose Pussy) and another one for impolite company. Anyway, Kannot Kant and Stiffy both get a drink for misnaming her (Miss Stripy Pants).
· Announcements:
o 22nd October is our 2,000th Run. This is a big deal guys, sign up now! Rego forms are on the web site and can be handed, with money, to Sneaky Comer when he shows up to a run J
o Tiger Lily borrowed a pen from someone and can’t remember (or see) who it was. She gets a drink, as a teacher she should know to just keep it. It is Zipp’s pen.
o Kannot Kan reports in less than 35 minutes that Kampong HHH have their annual charity run (for SunLove Home) this Saturday 17th September. Please check their web site for details (from our web site, click About Us -> Other Singapore Hashes).
o The Breast Cancer Foundation, which we have supported for many years, needs more runners signed up for their Charity Run on Saturday 1st October. Please please sign up at http://www.bcf.org.sg/home/index.php
Scribed by Sneaky Comer.