The ‘Vibrator Retirement’ Run.
Hares: Vibrator & Open To The Floor
Where: Tagore Drive.
On On; Boxer’s Cottage Pie, Brownies and free beer.
The Run
Looking at the Hares, it seems like we had a choice of the muddy split or the prickly split. Vibrator had enough mud on him to give a pig an orgasm, while Open To The Floor’s legs were so cut and scratched that she was in need of a blood transfusion.
An interesting beginning had the pack climb up through the bushes only to descend back to the footpath 100 metres further along. While waiting my turn to descend through the bushes, I glanced ahead along the track and saw what looked like paper 20 meters away. On closer inspection, it actually turned out to be paper. Followed by more paper, and even more paper. Trash was with us, but this was not trash, it was trail. So while a group of us stayed up on the dirt trail calling ‘On,’ Wet Patch and others could be heard down on the footpath calling ‘On.’ Mmm, strange.
Well, eventually those of us on the track came to the long /short split with arrows pointing back the way we came. Yep, we had found the home trail. Bugger.
Those who took the correct trail crossed Upper Thompson and into the bush, where a nice stream awaited them. Vibrator had warned us to stay off the market garden inside, as he had been chased out by an angry Chinaman for stepping on his plants. However, Kan Not Kan was actually invited into a shack for a sit down and cup of tea by one of the farmers.
A Circle Check had the Pack scratching around, but not the Hare, who was on his GPS. Wet Patch investigated on his own up a steep embankment. A very steep embankment. In fact a very, extremely steep embankment. Eventually his momentum completely ceased and he slowly started to lean backwards until he toppled over onto his back. Luckily for him, no one was there to see this.
Trail was found through a hole in a fence, then it was back over Upper Thomson to join the others who had found home trail, and were virtually home by now. It was worrying though when the Hare got out his GPS in the middle of Upper Thompson to see where he was. But it was quite funny another time when he was checking his GPS in the jungle and head butted a tree.
The highlight of the long split was the mud patch. I arrived at the turn off point into the mud, next to the tractor, much earlier than anyone else, as a result of the previous oversight of the Hares in setting home trail paper 20 metres from the out trail. But this time the Hares excelled. Once again I looked straight ahead along the track, and there 200 metres in the distance was a trail of white paper placed carefully 1 metre high in the bushes on the side of the track, standing out for all to see like dog’s balls. Quickly I raced down and placed the paper discretely out of sight in the grass.
This resulted in the FRB’s following the Hare’s desired trail and wallowing in mud, Tiger Lily doing an ‘I am zinking’ impersonation and lots of cursing from SD2, Wet Patch etc when they discovered it was a T Check. For some reason, Camel Humper and Posh Nash simply ran straight ahead and kept their feet clean. Too Posh for mud I guess.
All back in about the hour mark, around the 7km range, this was a pretty good run I reckon. Perhaps just a little too well marked in sections.
The Circle: A rather lively Circle, watched at a distance by a number of curious Bangla Boys. (My, wasn’t it hard to find a place to have a pee in private – Tiger Lily even resorted to the shower tent at the end of the Circle).
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? There were many comments offered, but Shaggy Dick 2 standing next to me summed it up with ‘A very good run’ to the power of 3. (To non-intellectuals – a very, very, very good run).
Tell us about your On On: Boxer Cottage Pie and Cubs Brownies. 10 smackeroos and beer thrown in. Very good run to the power of 6!
Next week’s run: Kan Not Kan tries to co-opt tonight ‘s Hares to help him next week – tonight’s run backwards? Then he sort of settles on Sengkang. Check web site for latest. I have no doubt the on on will up to his usual standard. [Ed: Heavy Vehicle Car Park off Sengkang Crescent].
Visitors / Returnees: Trash, Belcher, Stiff, iPood, Amber, Totally Unacceptable, Tore, Princess of The Sloth, Fisting With Sheep (obviously a Kiwi), Tim, Malfunktion, Nelmoed. Arse Grabber & Ichibawasan making a return.
Virgins: Jay, who was so disgusted by the state of his socks that he wanted to throw them out.
At this stage, the GM said something about hanging onto your cups, which was interpreted as ‘hang onto your jugs’ by Stiffy.
Lipstick: A multitude, including visitors, Cock Radio, Mr. Potato Head, Father Anus amongst others.
Tits: Ayam Zinking is not here, he is still tiinking.
Dick: Absent, with Boo.
Awards – 450 Runs! Father Anus. Have a Happy Birthday too. And a mention to Hand Bag – 100 runs; and Fat Crashing Bastard – 50 runs for donating their awards to Breast Cancer Awareness cause.
The GM then charged Hash Brew for forgetting the cup-washing bucket.
Then there was a camera charge on the visitors who tried hijacking the Circle armed with a Kodak weapon.
Stiffy was then charged by the GM for talking (he was actually being nice by asking the scribe if he would like another beer!)
Don’t forget the Breast Cancer Awareness Run coming up.
And of course the 2000th Run – World-class entertainment, pole dancing and strippers. See Sneaky Comer.
AOB:
· Cock Radio points out that Shoe Shopper always has a go at KNC for photographing on the Hash, but who has her Kodak out tonight doing some snapping?? And who was she snapping – half naked male visitors. Is she working for Cleo??
· Sneaky Comer reminds us that we have seasons of running, depending on our goals and when we want to peak etc. However, some of us have drinking seasons, and it appears that Shaggy Dick 2 is now entering the drinking season after a lay off. Wait till he peaks.
· iPood charged SD2 for getting a gal to take off her T Shirt for a photo shoot. Nothing wrong with that.
· Tiger Lily wants the lady sitting down (don’t we all!). While TL was showering, our Chinese lady visitor asked her for her lovely smelly thing. Which part of Tiger Lily would that be? Oh, it was her body soap.
· Stiffy was at school with 450 in earshot when a new mum yelled out at the top of her voice ‘Hey Stiffy.’ Well-done Tiger Lily.
· Vibrator was in the little market garden area and was asked by the Chinese gardener if it was the Hash? He then declared he did not want Veggie Queen coming in because she always eats all his bananas. Belcher takes the charge for the banana stealer.
· Stiff, fighting off the GM, tells how on reaching the front of the Pack with Tiger Lily, Wet Brazilian claimed that the front of the Pack is her rightful spot.
· Shaggy Dick Too observed Tiger Lily lose her soul in the mud. So the soulless running shoe was discarded at the end of the run, but the other one was put in her bag and taken home. What good is one shoe? She said that this is a left shoe and she had another single right shoe at home that would make a pair.
· iPood tested the height of our smelly lovely thing visitor. Gypsy also came in and tried but was chased out of the Circle by Zipp. Anyway, the charge involved too much technology for me to describe and I was too busy looking at smelly lovely thing.
· Shoe Shopper charged Vibrator for being clueless. At a Circle Check that was particularly difficult to break, despite people searching in all directions, Mr. Potato Head finally asked the Hare where the trail was. Vibrator’s reply – ‘Where no one has checked yet.’
· Zipp describes how Dances With Kerbs, who was celebrating her wedding anniversary, decided that she would walk with her and have a chat while enjoying the serenity. That is until she saw a young virgin male and decided to run after him.
· Suzee Ong charged the Committee for their lack of F**k Me Shoes, especially Forced Entry.
· Open to the Floor believes that Hand Bag did not bring his new GF along because he did not want to bore her.
· Kan Not Kan saw Hand Bag asleep on the MRT.
· Tiger Lily was running with Camel Humper when he called out ‘Big slippery hole.’ Tiger Lily looked around but all she could see was Shoe Shopper.
On on to Boxer’s Woodland’s Cottage Pies and Brownies.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
This week’s Chinese Proverb
English version – better to let a fart out than hold it in.
Chinese version – Confucius say better to have vacant property than have evil tenant.
Think about that one.