The Boys Gone Wild and Halloween and Birthday Run.
Hares: Sneaky Comer and Maggot
Where: Bukit Brown Chinese Cemetery.
On On: The Red Lantern
The Run
Having a Halloween Run in a cemetery was always going to be a bit spooky.
As the men were in charge for the night, the ‘What time does a 6 o’clock run start?’ actually started at 6 o’clock for a change. After the initial obligatory T Check near the gates, it was back into the cemetery where half the Pack followed tonight’s trail and the other half followed the kid’s trail from Sunday. This resulted in a head on collision between the 2 packs at the barking dog house.
Back along the stream and past the market garden, emerging at the bottom of Gymkana Avenue. Trail went up the hill to the mosque, prompting many runners to hesitate because of past experiences telling them it would be a T Check at the top. However, I recalled one of the Hares last time he set a run here declaring that next time he was going to trick everyone by actually setting trail to keep on going through, and so he did.
Back into the cemetery where a Circle Check had everyone searching left and right, only to eventually discover it was on back and out of the cemetery. Would it be to the stream? No, it was out onto the roads past Media Corp, onto Lornie Rd, then back into the cemetery past the petrol station. Cemetery trails again.
A T Check took Shaggy Dick Too the wrong way, and in his hurry to regain the lead at the front of the pack, he took a little tumble on a slippery grave, resulting in his right arm popping out of his shoulder socket. Shaggy had been making some spooky noises throughout the run, but the screams he made when he realized that his arm was not where it was meant to be was enough to wake the dead.
Finally we managed to get him to his feet, and with his arm dangling down and a big depression in his shoulder where it was meant to be attached, I slowly started walking him back very carefully. Momentarily, however, I showed more concern for my camera than for Shaggy. As I turned to see if someone had picked it up, I must have twisted Shaggy slightly also.
‘Ah, it’s back in!’ was the shout from Shaggy, and sure enough, the arm had popped itself back in. And there he was, showing me how he could move it ok and would be able to raise a cold Carlsberg with it later! So after what was a grave situation, all was good in the end.
While we walked along the tracks to home, the rest of the pack wound in and out of graves, and finally onto the track home. Anyway, it was a fine run, thanks guys.
The Circle: This being the closest run to Halloween, the men took over. Cock Radio looking fetching in his witches hat vowed to show how the circle should be run and promptly called for Any Other Business. Not really, but given that he usually writes this stuff down every week you would have thought he would know the order by now.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Run of the year is already decided, the rest of you will have to settle for second place. All agreed except Shaggy Dick Too who is on the phone to his Doctor.
Tell us about your On On: Red Lantern.
Next week’s run: Twin Towers’ birthday run at Jalan Gaharu, on on at Red Lantern. Check the website as usual.
Visitors / Returnees: Cunnilicker, Suck & Swallow, Totally Unnacceptable, Amber, Tim? And Boxer. Welcome all.
Virgins: Welcome Trevor. Who made you come? Wet & Ready made him come, but only a little bit. When asked did he like the run, he said he liked the bit he did. Does that leave him a partial virgin if he didn’t fully penetrate (into the cemetery). Yes, apparently, he will have to be redone next week.
Brut: This being the annual men’s run, women are not allowed to run in front. And the punishment is a slather of Brut anti-persperant – and the front running ladies were Shoe Shopper, Zipp, Sybil, & Tiger Lily. Shoe Shopper, at least, likes the perfume.
Tits: Suck Swallow has the tits, apparently delegated to her by her better half, WTF is Christine. She has an easy target, for boobing over a grave, Shaggy Dick Too gets the tits. There is a small struggle to get them over his dislocated arm, but he fits the tits a useful rest for his sore arm.
Dick: Cock Radio calls for the Dick, and is quickly told there is already one in the circle. Shoe Shopper gets a drink for dis-respect.
Awards – nope
AOB:
· Cock Radio was sympathizing with Shaggy Dick Too over his mishap tonight. But of all the inconveniences he could reflect on having dislocated his arm, was the most important he could come up with “how am I going to have a one handed shit”? Give Shaggy Dick Too a note.
· Hooray complains that he was promised a Scorpio run and wants to charge the hares, or someone. On being reminded that was either Friday or next Wednesday, he takes a drink.
· Stiffy asks Ugly Bum if her husband is Australian or Scottish? Apparently there has been some legislation introduced in Scotland limiting drink prices to $6, or something.
· Shoe Shopper takes Comes Quietly to task. A month ago, Wet Patch was in hospital with leprosy and the hash was very nice, lots of people came to visit. So she was very pleased to see Comes Quietly in to pay his respects, until he admitted he was actually there to see a Doctor and it was cheaper after 9pm so he was just passing the time waiting for the cheaper rate. Give the cheap bastard a drink.
· Hooray charges all the Aussies with having a crap national airline. Nothing new there.
· Comes Quietly is leaving but Shaggy Dick Too stops him for a quick charge. Comes Quietly asked him if he could borrow the tits for the Lion City D&D and SD2 is very disappointed to only have the tits for 5 minutes.
· Cock Radio asks for an assessment of the scariest Halloween dress in the circle – and Sybil wins, lifting her shirt. Maggot tempts fate by giving her a special song – “roll back, roll back, roll back your titties for me, for me”….
· Cock Radio complains that having Bukit Brown as a lovely tranquil place for a run will soon be history – the Government wants to build a fuc^&ng 6 lane freeway through the middle of it. Why? To save a few minutes traveling time for the poor delayed commuters of Singapore. And who has been whinging most about the travel times down Upper Thomson Road? One of the hares – on in Maggot.
· Shoe Shopper was trying to be friendly and welcome a new face to the hash, our virgin Trevor. Discussing where they were from, he said Queensland. Where is Shoe Shopper from? Tasmania. “Oh well, never mind”, he replies. Give the rude bugger a note.
· Trevor has an immediate clarification – he was misquoted by Shoe Shopper – he actually said “Sorry about that”. Give SS a note.
· Wet ‘n Wild has her lovely husband in for a birthday drink, and is relieved he is now in the same dickaid (translation: decade) as her. Thanks lovely.
· Cock Radio is distracted by the dickaid.
· Ad Nauseum reminds everyone that the biggest horse race in the world was held this week in Melbourne. He was getting lots of phone calls about the race, but one had him perplexed. About 7pm he received a call “tell Elaine her horse is still running”. On investigating further, he found his wife had been betting on the race. How much? $400. And how much did she win? Not a cracker.
· Cunnilicker has the webmaster in for “thanking everyone for attending the 2000th run on 22nd December – a case of premature something.
· Shaggy Dick Too had a horsey encounter down near Riding for the Disabled. Running past a horse towards Jalan Mashhor, he yelled “on on” and was promptly rounded on by the horsey type for scaring her horse. After politely replying what she could do with her horse, he carried on only to find a t-check, then had to run back past the put off horse and rider. On in the hares for scaring the horses.
· Ugly Bum is “very offended” by Cunnilicker, a Seletar member, who remarked on hearing a charge that a former GM who is blonde “won’t understand it, she is blonde”.
· Shoe Shopper also wants to bring Cunnilicker to task. After arriving at the hash she was having a chat with a few people, being friendly, when Cunnilicker came up and asked if she was alone? She is friendly, but not that friendly.
· Wet ‘n Wild accuses Shaggy Dick Too for being a pussy about how he holds his beer. Talk about kicking a man while he down!
· Cock Radio says that tonight was supposed to be scary – Halloween Run in a cemetery, and there was someone making silly scary noises all along – Shaggy Dick Too – but it came back to haunt him, literally, as he came to a grave end.
And on that note, it’s on on on.
Scribed by Sneaky Comer, with run report by Cock Radio