The ‘Why Did I Ever Say Yes To This,’ Run.
Hares: Not Good Enough & Give Way. Stiffy & Not Tonight
Where: Dairy Farm Rd.Pepys Rd, top car park
On On: Thai food – Isan
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Reminder: if you are setting a run in the next 2 months, keep in mind that it is getting dark very early – do not consider going into dense jungle after 6.30, unless you wish to spend the rest of your night searching for lost Hashers. To play safe, set the jungle sections in the first part of your run. |
The Run:
According to Cock Radio:
The Runners headed out of the car park and up the hill towards Kent Ridge Park. Two beers later, runners came back up the hill and into the car park from the opposite direction, smelling less desirable than when they set off. The highlight to me was the uphill start as well as uphill finish. As I managed to stay dry under the Carlsberg umbrella for the whole run, it got my approval. Well done Hares, thank you.
According to Sneaky Comer:
Having not seen paper on the drive up Pepys Road, I concluded that on must be up the hill to the top, as it was. A couple of rather obvious circle checks had us running up to the Vigilante Road carpark, chasing after Tiger Lily rapidly disappearing into the distance. A less obvious circle check had us scratching our heads for a good five minutes before on was finally called down the steps towards Normanton Park. On through the gardens to the left and then out to Science Park Drive, a bit of tarmac bashing until we came back into Kent Ridge Park and along the fence of Normanton Park. Then the famous long hill between Winchester and Canterbury Roads before we headed back via Alexandra Road, Horpark, and that little canal that feeds onto Pepys Road. Phew, a good mix of the best of the area along with a bit of tarmac. Since it was rainy and cool, it was nice to get a bit of a stride out. Thanks hares.
The Circle: A rather small and soggy group, having first watched a car full of Harriets decide it was too wet and drive off home for a hot shower, assembled under clearing skies.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too far from Dairy Farm Rd, too many Circle Checks (That is Stiffy’s way to get out of setting T Checks). But seriously, good run and thanks for filling in at short notice.
Tell us about your On On: Isan, Thai tucker. A very small group caught Wet Already and Trevor having dinner there, having snuck off from the circle early.
Next week’s run: Not Good Enough, Give Way. Dairy Farm Rd. Check the website, as usual.
Visitors / Returnees: Bagless Too, Trevor, Stiff. Welcome all.
Virgins: Too wet for virgins.
Tits: Hand Bag has the Tits on behalf of Posh Nash. Why? Besides the fact that Posh Nash has already left, last week Singaporn would not let her put them in her car because they are too dirty. Which meaning of dirty does she mean? Anyway, Hand Bag goes back to think about it.
Dick: Missing again, but Hand Bag is ready and has a stand-by Dick. And he puts a tall black cylinder hat on his head, complimenting his tits.
Lippy: Hooray, who demands to sue and call in the Health Dept. if it touches his lips.
At this stage, The Hares for next week arrive and are given an armed escort to protect them from Stiffy. This immediately sparks Hand Bag’s thinking alight.
Tits,and Dick, Part 2: Hand Bag calls in Not Good Enough as a f#*king candidate for the Tits and Give Way for the Dick, for making the Beer Wagon and several car loads of Hashers drive out to Dairy Farm Rd, and for causing his ex best friend Stiffy to have to set tonight’s run twice in weather suitable only for ducks (Posh ones at that). Stiffy, who was being restrained from throwing his bottle of Carlsberg at the Hares, was shouting something about the Hares having to call in Noah for next week’s run. Ah, what are friends for!
In the meantime, Hand Bag was struggling to get his Tits over his Dick without making it go limp.
Awards – nope (could be a wettest run candidate?)
AOB:
· Hooray chastised the Hares for making Uncle and the Beer Wagon go all the way out to Dairy Farm Rd. At least he knows where to go next week.
· Sneaky Comer reminds us that in the old days, communication was by post and landline, and could slow down communication a bit. But modern technology allows for instant communication and there is no excuse for not staying updated! But 2 members still drove all the way out to Dairy Farm Rd. Why why why??? Well, Kamala does not have a computer, while her good friend Dances With Kerbs has a computer but her mailbox is so full it is rejecting incoming messages. Here’s to modern technology.
· Stiffy asks Mrs. Parker, aka Shoe Shopper, as a model parent, how many children she has. ‘3 that I know of,’ was the reply.
‘How many daughters?’ ‘1 that I know of.’
‘And where is she now?’ ‘At home.’
‘And where is her gym kit?’ ‘At home, being washed by the maid.’
‘No it’s not,’ declares Stiffy, ‘it’s in my office at school still stinking from yesterday!’
‘What were you doing with my daughter in your office??’ was the counter charge from Shoe Shopper.
Things then deteriorated further with another colleague of Stiffy’s, Not Good Enough, declaring that she also wears Calvin Klein knickers!
All were duly charged!
· Shoe Shopper was at the Sunday Run, last Sunday, and asked the Hare, Kan Not Kan, if she could borrow some toilet run for a pre run nervous pee. KNC, being of Scottish origin, was rather hesitant to give away a roll of his finest white 2 ply and complained that people normally forget to return it. Shoe Shopper then got out a rather depleted roll of paper and handed it to Kan Not Kan, telling him the rest of it had been used up because there was so much shit on his run!
· Cock Radio heard a Hasher saying how he sometimes has trouble getting it up to work properly, but if he puts his hand in first and has a bit of a fiddle it normally does the job. Was Stiffy really talking about the retractable headlights on his sports car?
· Don’t go away Stiffy – it’s been raining since 10am, we have not seen the sun in 3 days and it is now 7.30pm. Aren’t you a little over cautious by having the sun screen over your car?
· Kan Not Kan thanked the Hares for such a good run at short notice, and given the amount of rain and Stiffy going around twice, declared it a ‘re – markable’run. And so we see a remarkable trait from our Scottish bard.
· Shaggy Dick Too charged Cock Radio. At the doctor’s, Cock Radio was asked how he got the growth on his foot, and the growth replied back to the doctor, ‘Well doc, it started as a pimple on my bum.’ Boom boom!
· Maggot tells how at a Circle Check, someone yelled ‘It’s not that way because Tiger Lily is up there.’ But Tiger Lily actually, for once, was on trail. On in Shaggy Dick Too and Too Easy for doubting Tiger Lily’s ability to find trail. (it is has been confirmed that while Tiger Lily was on trail, but there is no evidence to prove that she actually knew it – scribe)
· The GM confirms the scribe’s doubts in the above charge – she watched Tiger lily detour sharp right when the trail was clearly marked straight ahead.
· Shoe Shopper calls in Wet N Wild, who was just on her way to the bushes to pee. Seems NZ have some funny ideas about naming children. ‘Toola Does The Hoola In Hawaii’ is no longer acceptable, by law, as a name for your child. (Bet that has upset a lot of people). ‘Fush And Chups’ (Fish And Chips) has also been banned, but ‘Violence’ and ‘Number 16 Bus Stop’ are still allowed. (I’m not sure if ‘Car Park B’ and ‘Public Toilet’ have been approved. ‘Sheep Shaggerson’ is still popular however. Scribe)
· Wet N Wild headed off for her pee but didn’t get far – Hand Bag tells how the NZ Department of Sport and Recreation has a new initiative – they are having sheep tied to a lamppost and calling it a Recreation Centre.
· Wet N Wild really needs to pee by this stage, but is halted by Kan Not Kan who mentioned something about baby urine. And after this down down, Wet N Wild ran the fastest we have ever seen her, straight to the bushes.
· Dances With Kerbs calls in Hash Brew, Forced Entry, and questions the quality and sex appeal of her 2 assistants tonight – Virginia Slim and Kamala!
And on that note, it’s on on on.
Scribed by Cock Radio, with additional run report by Sneaky Comer
POOF, THE LIGHT GOES OFF!
A 72-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back normal so the doctor says, “Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Harry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on! When I’m done, poof! the light goes off!”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Harry’s wife. “Mrs. White,” he says, “Harry is doing fine but I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof! the light goes off?”
“OH GOOD GRIEF!” Mrs. White exclaims,”He’s pissing in the fridge again!”