The ‘Real Dairy Farm Road’ Run.
Hares: Not Good Enough & Give Way. Stiffy & Not Tonight
Where: Dairy Farm Rd.Pepys Rd, top car park Car Park A C,D,E,F,G, M,P,R B
On On: Thai food – Isan Karus Indian food
The Run:
According to Cock Radio:
Was this run going to be good enough or Not Good Enough? This was going to be Stiffy’s Birthday and St Andrew’s Day Run – why did he Give Way to the Hares? These were the questions on everyone’s lips. Well, mine anyway.
The Runners headed out of the car park at the toilet block end and came back from the Upper Bukit Timah Rd end of the car park. Some got back late, some very late, and others ridiculously late. Some also smelt not so nice. Some also got straight in their car and drove home. Watching Vibrator and Open To The Floor arrive late and not able to find their way out of the car park was also a bonus. As I managed to fit in 2 and a half beers for the whole run, it got my approval. Well done Hares, thank you.
According to Croc Hunter: This is his favourite run site, he told me – nice scenery, no monkeys, nice toilets, free car park and no one to complain about us. Could be some crocs in there too.
According to Maggot:
With Sneaky absent, and the growth under Cock Radio’s foot AWOL, I was asked to pen a few words for the trail at Dairy Farm Road Car Park A, Pepys’s Rd, Dairy Farm Road Car Park A, Dairy Farm Road Car Park D, E, F, G M, R, B.
After arriving 10 15 minutes late after going to all the above Car Parks, the only people around were Cock Radio and Fat Crashing Bastard, neither who looked like they were in a hurry to sprint off and catch the pack and Vibrator and Open To The Floor, who were running in circles around the toilet block looking for trail after a 10 minute start.
The Pack headed up the road for the obligatory T-check left and then another which was washed out. The 1st I saw of them were the walkers coming back, with the runners behind trying to get past at the old house.
We found trail back up on the hill and then continued up the steps. JackOff The First, 1st there, decided if she had to go up, so did everyone else, so the FRB’s hid around the corner. Tiger Lily finally turned up, so we all sent her past the T-check down another trail (she wouldn’t have seen the T-check anyway!!).
Past the Visitor Centre, one of the hares (with a torch shining!) advised the run went along the railway line then back into the jungle (and it may get a “bit” dark – was his torch already glowing a hint?). Some good checks and trail had the FRB’s that could see in the dark back in 75 minutes for a 7+ km run.
Good run Hares but a bit “ambitious” for this time of year.
The Circle: A tired but lively group, having first watched a car full of Harriets decide it was too wet again and drive off home again for a hot shower, assembled under cleared skies (sort of same as last week).
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too far from Pepys Dairy Farm Rd, too much National Park, too much Giving Way. A domestic dispute between the Hares at the start of the run was entertaining, and novel use of plastic HHH signs to guide us (could you install a light on them?) And a nice touch for the Hares to give Shaggy Dick Too half a roll of soggy toilet paper for his dodgy tummy. A Not Good Enough Run, well done. It is good to have people with ambition.
Tell us about your On On: Karus, curry tucker. A less than 1 second count of hands somehow came up with 15 takers.
Next week’s run: The Greasy Spoon, Bukit Batok Heavy Vehicle Car Park. Kan Not Kan. Check the website, as usual (don’t rely on it – Web Master had a big weekend).
Visitors / Returnees: Forgot to get the list ! Maybe Bagless Too, Trevor, Stiff, Totally Unacceptable, Vibrator and a few others possibly. Welcome all.
Virgins: Changing of run sites too confusing for virgins. Just Not Good Enough.
Tits: Not Good Enough has a fine pair, and charges all the people that went to car park A instead of Car Park B, when the web site clearly said Car Park B, or A, C, D or E. Do we have to spell it out to you – Totally Unacceptable, Stiffy, KNC, Kamala, visitors and others.
But Not Good Enough had entrusted Cock Radio to perform an important task. As I was not running, he gave me Give Way’s phone number so I would call her and say who the last runners to leave the car park are so she could start sweeping and picking up the trail. I carefully inputted the number into the phone book of my $49.99 Nokia, and when Vibrator and Open To The Floor finally found their way out of the Car Park, I dutifully went to ring Give Way, only to find her name and number had vanished from my phone and disappeared into cyberspace. If anyone finds it, please return it to me. In the meantime, I will take the Tits. (Shoe Shopper, did I leave them in your car – are they ok?).
Oh yeah, Shaggy Dick Too got an honorable mention too for spending 20 minutes telling Not Good Enough about his dicky knee.
Dick: Give Way has a Dick in a Bag, despite the presence of Bagless Too. Tiger Lily is asked a question. ‘What do you when you are running but there is no paper?’ Tiger Lily’s response: ‘Keep running?’. No Tiger, you turn around and go back. The Asian blonde gets the Dick Head award.
Lippy: Vibrator. Good choice.
Awards – nope
AOB:
· Not Good Enough thanked Stiffy for graciously Giving Way tonight and setting his carefully planned for 6 months run last week instead of tonight! That was so Not Good Enough of you.
· Not Good Enough then charged Vibrator and Open To The Floor for being such a fit young couple, capable of any physical challenge that the Hash can throw at them. Yet on a recent holiday on a little stroll through the hills of Nepal, they found themselves unable to make the return trek and had to be air lifted out. Now fair dinkum, we have had Hashers give up and take a taxi back, (90% of runners on Hoorays infamous Little India run 2 years ago), Boo has done many a rescue mission for Kamala, Dances With Kerbs et al at places like the helicopter landing clearing off Chestnut. Even your scribe lost his way back to the run site on a KNK disaster on Bukit Timah Rd, but that only cost me a $20 taxi fare. But we have never, ever, had an air lift out of a tricky situation. They ought to be publicly air evacuated, they…..
· Fat Crashing Bastard did a little internet research on the secret life of teachers and came up with interesting facts of guess who? Not a biology or French teacher, but someone who studies snakes in his garden. (Rules out all ISS teachers who are paid such a shit salary that some even have to live in HDB in remote outposts such as Sembawang – Mighty Maps pg 875, Y 9). You actually have a garden? You lucky, lucky bastard. Then put up with the snakes, because they eat the rats and cockroaches that we paupers in high rise have to cope with. What we would do to have a snake in our garden. Revenge of the snakes, look out you garden lovers.
· Stiffy has a guess who? Recently married, stupidly paid a daughters’ air fare over to do a wedding speech and disclose family secrets, did not plan a honeymoon and instead booked himself into a private room for himself, without his new wife, for 3 days in a brand new hospital surrounded by lovely young female nurses and claims it all on his work’s insurance. His new wife said she had a lovely 3 day break without him.
· Maggot rubs it in a bit more, so to speak, and on visiting me in my honeymoon suite, not to see how I was but because he just happened to be in the Yishun area, (after I had msg him about the cute nurses only 15 minutes before) commented that the complimentary soaps and shampoos were so classy that I saved them and I’m giving them to my new wife as a Christmas present. How dare you think that! (Does anyone have a small bit of spare Christmas wrapping paper – small bottle size?) And as an ISS fee paying parent, he is happy to see the teachers getting their Christmas presents this way.
· Fat Crashing Bastard has a Star wars charge on Stiffy, labelling him R2D2 and Awby Wank Kanobie for his light stick not working. Place ‘er’ onto the end of the middle part of the Awby Kanobie name and you got it!
· Not Good Enough has a technical charge on Stiffy and it involved my lack of technical expertise. Point taken, but I have lost the point of the point I am taking.
· Kan Not Kan, with a totally pickled brain more than usual due to St. Andrew Day celebrations, gets the Hares in, as well as Vibrator and Croc Hunter, mixes them all together and blames them for him ending at Car Park S, the Heavy Vehicle Car Park across the road. After him spending 30 minutes trying Car Parks A – R.
· Cock Radio gave Vibrator and Open To The Floor for arriving late and not finding their way out of the Car Park after 5 minutes of trying.
· Shaggy Dick Too charged Stiffy for his Scottish ‘Jimmy’ look. He looks the part! ( He was so confident he wore his Jimmy hat to Friday Scottish Run, joined the Hares in the Circle for 5 minutes before being discovered as an English impostor and forcibly removed. Could this be the start of Hadrian’s Wall at the Hash?)
· A scandalous charge next, from SD2, who wanted to charge Vibrator for not only did he not have a Hash shirt for the Circle, he had no shirt at all, and despite being totally bare chested, he still wanted to question Shaggy about the authenticity of his shirt. Don’t dig a deeper hole for yourself Vibrator!
· Jimmy Stiffy charges/congratulates the Scots for their National Patron Day, and in come the Scots, led by KNK, and somehow Father Anus ended up as a Highlander.
· Vibrator lamented that Touch Rugby was cancelled, and Welsh Git was mentioned as a loud culprit.
· Suck Swallow had a hair cut or wax charge for Stiffy. A Jimmy charge no doubt.
· Scribe note here – you may by this stage think that the charges are getting less detailed. Correct. I am struggling on Monday night to read my nights notes after celebrating the Sex Web Master’s 50th yesterday. I would not rust trust the web map this week either. However, I assure you that the truth has not got in the way of anything in this report. As usual. Hiccup. Burp. Belch.
· Tiger Lily charged the GM and SD2 involving a kid poster’s charge on the wall of her work for the Standard Chartered, so SD2 told her he was running the full marathon and asked her if she was running the marathon and the GM replied no, she was having a sleep in. You’re kidding us!
· KNK advertised the Lion City St Andrew’s Day Run, malt whisky etc. (PS – after the event, it was voted a Scottish Hash Shit, 1 hour 50 minutes, shiggy prickly dark jungle. But the single malt was good though. Oh and a great shirt. Ai ya, the Scottish eggs were fantastic and the home made chocolate sweets. Actually a bloody good rum run when I think about it. Up ye kilts bonny Scots).
· Not Tonight then rounds off the night with a stirring throatal rendition of Scotland The Brave. Brought tears to my eyes, especially the high notes.
And on that note, it’s on on on.
Scribed by Cock Radio, with additional run reports by Croc Hunter and Maggot.
An elderly gentleman…
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years.. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.’
The gentleman replied, ‘Oh, I haven’t told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!’