The Real Blackmore Drive Run
Hares: Shoe Shopper & Wet Patch
Where: Blackmore Drive
On On: Red Lantern
The Circle (7:53pm): The Wet Brazilian called the circle to order but we had to wait for Slocum to walk up the road.
The Circle really starts (7:56pm): “Hares front & center, please” Wet Patch and Shoe Shopper admitted to setting the run and looked mildly surprised when everyone said it was a good run. A well laid trail, with a nice run-in, was much appreciated. The highlight seemed to be the fact that Tiger Lily did the run so fast that only a very few people ever saw her. She arrived late, finished first, road her bike home and showered before the second runner finished.
Tell us about your On On (7:58pm): (It took some extra time because the Wet Brazilian had to be reminded what came next). Red Lantern aka Torture Restaurant (or Fortune Restaurant or something like that). $10.
Next week’s run (8:00pm): The Wet Brazilian put on her reading glasses to find the names of next weeks hares and that caused all kinds of problems as she then could not see any in attendance. Deep Throat, Malfunktion, Ad Nauseum and Ugly Bum are setting the run from Dairy Farm Road, Car Park B at the toilets.
Harriet Virgin (8:02pm): May Day time travelled from Thursday to attend. Sybil seemed particularly happy and for some reason, Shoe Shopper knew that MD liked to come a lot.
Returnees (8:03pm): A whole gaggle of old farts retuned including Malfunktion, Pubic Zipp, Herr Zipp, Woodbridge, In & Out and King Lear. Welcome back all.
Visitors (8:04pm): Nutcracker, Circle Jerk and Bagless II (the good one) all got a drink. Welcome all.
Virgins (8:06pm): Not a single new nubile piece of fresh meat to be had.
Lipstick (still 8:06pm): Maggot, Hooray, May Day, Circle Jerk, Bagless II (the fast one) and Circle Jerk all got a touch of the rouge because of an infraction or two on the run. Some were complaining of an unfair charge that later got explained.
Tits (8:08pm): Jack Off had hold of the Dick but ceded the floor to Stiffy’s Tits charge, citing that the Harriets always let the ladies go first. Stiffy called in King Lear for being silly enough to have minor surgery on Christmas Eve, only to be told AFTER the op that he was not allowed to consume alcohol for three days. There goes the Christmas spirit.
Dick (8:10pm): Slocum had two nominations to take the Dick with Fat Crashing Bastard called in first. Apparently he was more than entertained by the many references to The Wet Brazilian’s new, multi-hued hairstyle. Not Tonight got the Dick though because She reminded Slocum of the age old mystery “Why do woman always want men to go further than the men are comfortable with”. I think it referred to checking a little further but it could just be a commitment thing.
Awards (8:10am): Gypsy got a drink in recognition that once again, for the 21st year in a row, he was unanimously voted and the most appreciated, best looking and most intelligent hasher in Singapore.
AOB:
- (8:12pm) Stiffy called in Zipp and Too Easy to raise a trivia question: What do these ladies have in common? Fat Crashing Bastard knew the answer was not only the same shirt (SNAP!) but also both have big boobs and he also noted that the ladies seemed to celebrate their sameness by giving each other a “booby high ten”.
- (8:13pm) In & Out showed off his iPad and new car which turned out to be a Renault and Ford joint venture car. The car, a hybrid of the Clio and Taurus, or CliTaurus had some built in oddities for marketing to women. As best I can recall, it comes in pink and the average male won’t be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is. And even if he did find it, he wouldn’t know how to service it. It seems like a logical marketing move except most women have never seen one. I guess the CliTaurus will be sold by feel and always be somewhere near the Volvo. One existing issue is that as the car gets older, the boot seems to get bigger and bigger and the engine constantly needs to be re-lubed. In & Out suggested leasing a new car each year rather than getting saddled for one for a longer period as they are very expensive to service and deregistering one after a long ownership comes with severe financial penalties. He also reminded people that if they rent the CliTaurus, they should avoid the rental agencies in Geylang as those cars are not certified safe. Also, never, ever – and I mean NEVER buy a used model – it’s just inheriting someone else’s problems. In & Out charged himself for daring to make this public service announcement.
- (8:17pm) Fat Crashing Bastard was walking the home trail with Slocum when Slocum asked if they should be breaking the checks. FCB charged him with having delusions of grandeur.
- (8:18pm) Too Easy called in the hares, Wet Patch & Shoe Shopper, because they suggested to her that she go down as quickly as possible. FCB asked that she start soon but then take her time.
- (8:20pm) The Wet Brazilian called in Ad Nauseum’s look-a-like, Bagless II (the old one). Apparently Ad Nauseum found a check and called for a woman. When he saw the confusion on the other hashers’ faces, he asked if the person in the front (The Wet Brazilian) was a man or a woman. She had to stop running, turn back to smack him and thus caused several front running men to be thrust into the lipstick zone.
- (8:21pm) Malfunktion called in Fat Crashing Bastard because he caught up to them on the trail, only to hear for the 100th run in a row, that they were talking about Formula One race cars. Get your minds out of the gutter boys!
- (8:23pm) Zipp called in May Day, Circle Jerk, Wet Patch and Malfunktion for helping to move the circle to a safer place.
- (8:24pm) Stiffy called in May Day for not really volunteering for the previous good deed. He apparently was seduced into it by Sybil but May Day figured that he paid his dues, just in a different way from the other guys.
- (8:26pm) The Wet Brazilian called in Father Anus for being like a seagull. He swooped in, squawking up a storm, causing massive disruption just to eat, poop and leave. Father Anus tried desperately to get out of the charge by flattery but it didn’t work.
- (8:27pm) The Wet Brazilian further called in Jack Off for dirty dancing to the Horse’s Ass song so Jack Off gave everyone a demonstration.
(8:30pm) With the stand-in scribe getting cramps in his hand, the GM took pity and thankfully called for a move to the on on.
On on on.
Scribed by Gypsy.