The Fall of Singapore 70th Anniversary Run (and CR’s Birthday)
Hares: Cock Radio & Kitchen Rat
Where: Sembawang Community Centre
On On: 1036
The Run:
The vacant fields of Sembawang are a prime target for the breeding of cranes, and our once little tranquil run site is now surrounded by 2 breeding sites. Did theses cranes migrate from Queenstown, and have they evolved to suit this environment? Just what is the origin of this species?
Whatever, the ang moh lady, who doesn’t like a bit of tissue paper being placed outside her black and white house, is sure in for a shock when a few thousand people move into her backyard.
Well, a torrential downpour at 4pm wiped out the first half of the trail, even markings strategically placed inside bus shelters. And there was certainly no evidence of paper for the black and white ang moh lady to show the police.
With help from the Hare, runners did a loop through the black and whites, through the HDB, under the MRT and into the backsticks of Sembawang. Some devious Circle Checks, complimented by some atrocious checking by certain front runners, kept the Pack searching. Back over behind Sembawang Shopping Centre, some more grasslands, a nice little jungle shack with bed, temple and fish ponds, before finding some orange slush to weave through. Back under the MRT and down Sembawang Rd to home. 7km, back in 1 hour, not bad if I may so myself.
The Circle: No GM, so the Circle runs pretty smooth and in order for a change.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? All good, of course says the scribe.
Tell us about your On On: 1036, Coffee Shop just down the road. $10 for great Chinese makan.
Next week’s run: The visiting founding member run. Bukit Brown Cemetery, Sneaky Comer.
Visitors / Returnees: Ferret, Romeo, Wong Wey, Fisting With Sheep, Heavy Flow, Bully. Welcome all.
Virgins: Nope
New Member: Tim Twinning.
Lipstick: Fat Crashing Bastard, Handbag.
Tits:GM has.
Dick: ?
Awards – nope
AOB: (Please note – it was my birthday and a few celebration drinks may mean that some of what is written here may be slightly further from the truth than normal. CR)
· Shaggy Dick Too believes that there is going to be a shoot out to determine tonight’s stand in GM. Wet N Wild and Big Head are both wearing some noticeable F#*k Me Shoes in the hope of filling Wet Brazillian’s shoes, so to speak, for the night. So it’s F#*k Me Shoes at 10 paces, and it’s Wet N Wild who is quickest of the draw and gets her GM badge for the night.
· But Big Head had been in good for form during the week. Bully gave Big Head a ride to the Australian Ball the other night, but as they were getting out of the cab, Big Head’s shoe fell apart, prompting her to exclaim ‘Oh, f#*k my shoe.’ Then at the end of the night, she got out of the cab, leaving her purse, with money, house keys, phone etc in it, on the back seat. Running after the cab as it headed down the hill, she found that her speed was severely hampered by her spoilt ‘Oh f#*k my shoe,’ (and quite possibly alcohol), so she removed it and continued the chase. By this time the cab had moved into 3rd gear, which was too much even for Big Head’s long legs striding at maximum speed. Throwing her spoilt ‘Oh f#*k my shoe’ at the disappearing cab, she then had a movie inspired idea, hailed another cab and used the classic line ‘Follow that taxi.’ (How she managed to hail a cab at that time of the night considering where she lives, don’t ask – let’s not spoil a good story with any resemblance of truth and reality)
· Mother’s Tongue charged CR for being too mean to buy some Haberdash gear from her for Kitchen Rat (it was my birthday, not hers).
· Slowcum further charged CR for buying Kitchen Rat a bigger oven so she could cook bigger meals.
· Sneaky Comer questions if CR calls the police every time he sets a run, because they always turn up for my run.
· Shoe Shopper tries to convince us that she has not seen many penises in her life, but of the 3 she has seen, Father Anus tonight gave her a story to tell. While having a pee, he was unable to even release 1 hand to point which direction on on was for her. Sounds like a whopper of a story.
· Maggot saw Tiger Lily give Shaggy Dick Too a high five after he finished a pee. Did he wash his hands?
· Shoe Shopper looked up her birth date and found that there were many famous people born on that day, but when she looked up February 15 for my birthday, there was no one. Insignificant huh.
· However, I replied that today was the 70th Anniversary of the Fall of Singapore. That was pretty good for several thousand Japanese soldiers to ride their bikes all the way from Thailand to make it to Singapore for my birthday, even though they were a little bit pushy and did not complete their immigration details at the Causeway.
In comes various representatives.
Tiger Lily, Japanese on a bike.
Kamala, Indian soldier who switched sides.
Bully, Aussie soldier who abandoned ship.
Shaggy Dick Too, British soldier who kept drinking G&T in Raffles Hotel.
Father Anus, POW suffering from malnutrition. Still.
Singaporean historian – Boo, look alike was someone??? .
The guns at Labrador Park, Santos, Telok Blangah etc did point out to sea to repel a naval attack from the sea. However, they WERE NOT IN FIXED POSITIONS POINTING OUT TO SEA, as is taught in Singapore schools to scholars such as Boo. They actually were able to be swiveled 18o degrees towards the Causeway.
However, the problem was the cannons could only fire an armor peircicing missile, designed to sink a ship. That meant a lot of direct hits on several thousand Japanese soldier bike riders when you think about it.
· ‘Don’t forget Gispert’ says a visitor (actually Margaret Beaman, a former GM).
· After this, things got a bit messy on the part of your scribe. (it’s my birthday and I’ll drink if I want to) Shaggy Dick 2 gave me some sort of impressionist charge, Sneaky Comer charged SD2 for charging the scribe and giving him more beer, then the acting GM is missing, presumed having a pee in the bush, did she wash her hands?
· Well, on that note, thanks to the 22 people who shared a Birthday Meal with me, Love the Harriets x x x CR
And on that note, it’s on on on. (Apologies to any mis truth in this article. Not really – go jump in the lake)
See you next Saturday in Sealetar.
Scribed by Cock Radio
Simple Truths
SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you’re screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying “congrats”.
But, none of them come and touch the man’s penis and say “Good job”.
Moral of the story:
“Hard work is never appreciated”
No Underwear – Makes Sense to Me
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
‘Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!’ he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance without answering.
‘Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?’ he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said, ‘Well….last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma’s idea.’