The Founder Returns
Hares: Sneaky Comer & Father Anus
Where: Bukit Browne Cemetery
On On: Red Lantern
The Run:
Well, no migratory cranes in sight yet at Bukit Browne, but there is word that a distant relative of theirs, the bulldozers, are heading this way soon. These are locust like creatures that devour the natural landscape, stripping all signs of bush, jungle, trees and anything that resembles nature. Once they have totally cleared the landscape, they move on, leaving the area a prime target for the cranes to move in and breed.
Into the middle of the Cemetery we headed. A dead snake in the middle of the road did not stop us, but the first Circle Check did. (‘There was a dead snake in the middle of the road, stinking to high heaven…’ prize to anyone who can name the band that sang that about a skunk).
Up the hill, down again, loop around, through the jungle to the dog house. Who let the dogs out?
Along to the market garden shack, and a sneaky Circle saw us head behind the shack over some ‘virgin’ graves, and back down to the usual track along the stream. Out of the Cemetery, up past the mosque and back down to the cemetery. Into the stream behind the houses, but only half way as we detoured through a tunnel to end up out on Andrews Rd near Media Corp. Nice one.
Up Lornie Rd then back into the cemetery for a familiar scenic trail home.
Good work Hares.
The Circle: The GM is back, expect lack of order! The strategically placed lantern in the middle of the Circle causes her to adjust her short skirt to a lower level to prevent any Wet Brazilian sneak previews.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? A grave situation. Good run.
Tell us about your On On: Red Lantern, $12 for the usual.
Next week’s run: Lorong Lada Hitam, Mad Chinaman, Stiffener & Too Easy. Check the web site.
Visitors / Returnees: Carol Gurney (Mrs. G) – the founder returns!
Legover, Hard To Get, Vibrator, Suck Swallow, Totally Unacceptable, Mary Ann, Foreplay. Welcome all.
Virgins: Paulina, who was asked to remove her jacket, then her bag, then her T shirt, then her skirt. You can leave your hat on!
New Member: rumour is we have a new member. Did anyone get a form, or some money? Or see the alleged new member?
Lipstick: Gypsy, Camel Humper, Herr Zipp, Maggot, Hooray.
Tits: The GM left them in someone’s car the other week because she was too embarrassed to take them home as she has not explained the birds and the bees to her 6 year old son. Anyone know where they are?
Dick: Penile Extension probably still has it?
Awards – 100 runs Twin Towers (accepted by look-a-like Comes Quietly)
100 runs Singaporn
1100 runs Kamala, who was in very good form.
Birthday gal – Dances With Kerbs.
AOB:
· The Founding Member, Mrs. G, tells how much the Club has changed. She likes the atmosphere, the alcohol, punishing the men etc. One GM drinks, all GM’s drink.
· Shoe Shopper has the 2 Aussies in, Sneaky Comer and Cock Radio, for just being a bit too blokey and setting runs 2 days apart at the same location and the same on on venue. Get original.
· Sneaky Comer overheard Virginia Slim saying that in the old days, the Harriets were passed around amongst the male associate members like birthday presents. In comes Forced Entry as the first present.
· Fat Crashing Bastard reckons Big Head is getting a bit desperate with her partner being away, and was heard shouting out ‘Hello Vibrator.’
· Ugly Bum, in a pair of lovely pink shoes has her normal associate member charge, and in comes Stiffy and Fat Crashing Bastard for complaining derogatorily (her choice of words, not mine).
· Herr Zipp heard that the virgin had expectations about the run. Does this make her an expectant virgin, which surely must mean an immaculate conception?
· Sybil, being in fine form, told a story involving Legover, Maggot (when he emerged from having a leak against a red car) and lots of stories about things way beyond the capabilities of this humble scribe to put into any resemblance of writing that makes sense. There was a look young charge in it, and a sentence that involved ‘but’ I remember because Kamala was actually rubbing her bottom at the time.
· Stiffy copped a serve from Wet Brazilian for asking why she looks older than the first GM. And just to top it off, he copped a beer over his head from Loose Change.
· Father Anus always looks after the virgin females, being the caring man he is. Unlike Zipp who was responsible for the virgin coming without any Hash clothing.
· Big Head then copped it from a rather sensitive Wet Brazilian, as she had outdone the GM with her F*#k Me Shoes.
· Zipp was approached by Stiffener at a party, as she had forgot to bring wine with her and wondered if she could borrow a bottle of Hash wine. She later repays the Hash with a bottle of Chateau De Plonk, which she had opened and half consumed before declaring it rubbish.
· Shoe Shopper reckons Mrs. G has been away too long, as she asked how long after the run before you can have a glass of wine.
· Wet & Wild shows the evolution of GM F#*k me Shoes by lining up Mrs. G, Wet Brazilian and Big Head. Virginia Slim jumped in on the end as well, possibly indicative of the class of males such shoes attract.
· And finally Mrs.G was brought in for asking how long the Circle goes for because she was hungry. Apparently in her day, there was no Circle.
On on on to the Red Lantern, Mrs G is hungry.
Scribed by Cock Radio
A man had just Boarded and settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his Black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a ‘sniffing dog’.
‘His name is Sniffer and he’s the best there is. I’ll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.’
The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman said, ‘Watch this.’
He told Sniffer to ‘search’.
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman’s arm.
The Policeman said, ‘Good boy’, and he turned to the man
and said, ‘That woman is in possession of marijuana, I’m making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
‘Gee, that’s pretty good,’ replied the first man.
Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent’s arm.
The Policeman said, ‘Two paws mean that man is carrying cocaine, so again, I’m making a note of his seat number for the police.’
‘I like it!’ said his seat mate.
The Policeman then told Sniffer to ‘search’ again.
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.
The first man was really disgusted by this behaviour and couldn’t figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that.
So he asked the Policeman, ‘What’s going on?’
The Policeman nervously replied, ‘He’s just found a bomb.’