The ‘Kan Not Kan Birthday’ Run
Hares: Kan Not Kan & Kan The Kobra.
Where: Under the PIE at Whitley Rd
On On: Boxers stew and stuff.
The Run
It was a bit difficult to disguise some of the Hash cars as a bus or a lorry in this Heavy Vehicle Car Park, but we got away with it. Speaking of vehicles, a very interesting start across the PIE slipway leading onto Thompson Rd. We were half way across the 3 lanes of stationary traffic when the lights changed to green. Frantically I pushed Posh Nash forward and across into a small gap that was about to be consumed by a bloody big bus. I have no idea how the rest of the Pack made it across, but Posh Nash’s heart rate was racing faster than I can run, and that is bloody quick as you would know.
Well, a good run constitutes lots of different things, and Kan Not Kan has never ever mastered one of them in any of his previous runs.
But for some strange reason, known only to higher forces than your humble scribe can explain, he got it pretty correct tonight. Different run site for a different slant on familiar territory, bit of road hit out, back of the Polo Club, Bukit Brown via the Mosque, lovely trails through the cemetery, bit of jungle, bit of shiggy, across Mt.Pleasant Rd, short cut possibilities, 1 hour run.
Shaggy Dick Too was very hesitant on running through those slippery gravestones, and a torrential downpour ten minutes from home failed to put a damper on this great run.
Well done Hares.
The Circle: I can’t even remember if the GM was there? The Circle ran smoothly, so I guess she wasn’t there. [Ed: nope, she wasn’t].
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Good run! Well done.
Tell us about your On On: Boxer’s Stew and stuff. And good it was too.
Next week’s run: Sybil, Dances With Kerbs and crew. Fort Canning Park, Car Park around the back, opposite YMCA. (The car park off River Valley Rd is currently a construction site.)
Visitors / Returnees: Lost my list. But I recall Bagless 2 and Boom Boom. How could you miss Boom Boom?
Virgins: Nope.
New Member: Nope.
Lipstick: Hooray made a return, complete with broken ribs, cracked vertebrae, smashed teeth and a hefty medical bill. No one game to apply lippy to his battered body though. That Monday Hash is brutal. Virginia Slim takes the lippy though.
Tits: Maggot, after calling the GM out of her league last week when she was amongst 3 Aussie males, recalls how Kan Not Kan had his underwear thrown around in a JB shop last week by Kan The Kobra. Apparently he had forgotten to pack underwear for his weekend trip to JB, and blamed Kan The Kobra for not packing them for him. So a shopping trip was called for, but Kan The Kobra was not sure of his size and holding up a pair was asking a fellow female Hasher, Numbat, if these would fit him. And just how would she know what size underwear Kan Not Kan wears? I don’t think we will get to the bottom of this charge. Kan Not Kan gets the Tits, and some new underwear.
Dick: Shaggy Dick Too congratulated Kan Not Kan on his run tonight. The Hare, not being familiar with receiving praise for his runs, then spent the next 30 minutes telling Shaggy how good his Monday run was. Well, give the man an inch and he takes a mile. Shaggy then winds it up by suggesting that since Kan Not Kan does not have a chest big enough for the medal he deserves that he takes the Tits instead.
Awards – Nope.
AOB:
· Shoe Shopper reckons Not Tonight has been to wife obedience class. On the run tonight, Stiffy called ‘Trip,’ and she dutifully and immediately followed instructions, falling flat on her face. Wonder what she does when Stiffy calls ‘Head?’
· Penile Extension laments the end of the book version of Encyclopedia Britannica after 200 years, and calls in the Teachers, and Sneaky Comer as an IT guru responsible for the electronic age of information. [Ed: thank god for Mac’s, otherwise this report would have been here on time and empty of spelling errors like Kan the Kobra and Kannot Kan. Please ask Cock Radio what he thinks of his computer next time you see him J].
· Shoe Shopper is not happy with teachers using their school time to be calling parents when they should be teaching. She got a call from a Mr. Hobman (aka Stiffy) about something during class time when he was supposed to be teaching Anna, Shopper’s daughter. Anna then told her classmates ‘Mr. Hobman and Mum do something together 2 times a night every week.’ Nothing like kids show and tell time at school!!
· Stiffy replies automatically to the charge, and tells how at school, he asked Anna,
‘Is mum on holidays yet?’
‘I don’t know,’ was the reply from Shopper’s daughter.
‘Well, did she leave the house this morning?’ he continued.
‘Yes, but she often does that but I don’t know where she goes,’ said daughter.
Stiffy makes one last attempt to ascertain Shoe Shopper’s work status.
‘Well, if she is on holidays, she would be cooking meals for you at night.’
‘She has never cooked us a meal,’ said the poor neglected daughter.
Stiffy’s immediate response,
‘Well she certainly will be when you move to Melbourne, holidays or no holidays!’
· Stiffy then overheard Zipp say to Not Tonight, ‘Are you going to the ex Members lunch on Sunday?’ Perhaps ex Committee Members was meant.
· Shoe Shopper does not let Boom Boom escape for coming 1 hour late, arriving as the rain stopped and the beer was open.
· Kan Not Kan’s Birthday. Happy 70th!
· Shoe Shopper has not seen such a gathering of intelligent people outside of Tasmania. In come the Tasmanians, Shopper, Lethal Weapon, Comes Quietly and Boom Boom. I wonder if they used their maps of Tassie to get there? And did we do a head count? (Please refer to Tassie letter at end of report)
· Lethal Weapon charged Comes Quietly for making her come quickly. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, is it?
· Kan Not Kan calls in the Ditch Monster, Hooray. Seems Hooray has been used by KNC a few times as a run consultant, and we all know about some of those results. But tonight, Hooray consulted well. Perhaps it was the knock on the head he received when he fell in the ditch.
· Sneaky Comer reckons that Hooray must have been on his death bed, as this was the first 2 weeks of Harriet’s he has missed in 45 years, since he was on the wait list.
On on to Boxer’s yummy pie. And other delights.
Scribed by Cock Radio. See you in 2 weeks.
A letter from a Tasmanian mum to her Tasmanian son
Dear Son,
I’m writing this letter slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20kms from your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address because the last Tasmanian family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn’t have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I’m not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven’t seen them since. The weather isn’t bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven’t found out what it is yet so I don’t know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother…
Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a ute. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn’t get the tailgate down.
There isn’t much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love, Mum
P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the envelope.