The “Triumph of a Run”
Hares: Give Way and Not Good Enough
Where: Telok Blangah Green
On On: On Site, Delhi Curry
The Run:
We arrived at the runsite to find Alkaff mansion all decked out, goody bags piled high at the arrival tent, and valet parking chaps all over the place. Oh, and the car park full. Not a good sign. As everyone struggled to find a park, more and more people started turning up for a “Triumph under-garments fashion parade”.
The hares were caught up in the traffic jam and arrived just in time to point us off in the wrong direction (towards a nasty little T-check down the hill). A fair bit of fruitless searching was confronted by a laughing hare who sent us back up the hill to Alkaff mansion, then back down the hill again to Depot Road. Here another circle check confounded us for 10 minutes until the hares showed up in a car to point us over to Depot Lane and the on on arrow tucked behind block 4001. This spread the pack out along the AYE, before we crossed over to the old railway line.
At this point the run was starting to look long (we had been warned). We kept running along the railway line to a circle check at Masjid Hang Jebat, which surprising was solved by Give Way pointing us west along Jelan Hang Jebat (run looking even longer). We ran around the soccer field, across the AYE again to Normanton Park, where Not Good Enough was there to inform us we were at the long short split (should be long and even longer split). Those foolish enough to run the “long” were sent into Science Park and then over the top of Kent Ridge Park. Wiser ones were sent down the AYE and into Canterbury Road, before finally heading over Henderson Road and up the forest walk to home. Front runners in at 7:15pm.
The Circle: The GM struggled to get the circle to settle down, particularly with the loud pumping music flooding over from Alkaff Mansion. We were clustered down into the end of the car park which was chock-a-block with cars double parked. Meanwhile Telok Blangah Green was a parking lot of cars trying to get into Alkaff Mansion. Memo to Alkaff Mansion – if you are going to run large events, you need a f&^king parking lot.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Calls of “too many bras” and “too flat” were perhaps predictable. Too short was also heard. Stiffy brought in one of the signboards for the bra event, just to spice up the occasion. After a lot of faffing around, a good run was declared, thanks hares!
Tell us about your On On: On site Delhi Curry – we haven’t had them for ages!
GM’s charge: Stiffy is given a drink for wishful thinking with the bra girl.
Next week’s run: Loose Change, Suzee Wong, and Virginia Slim have birthdays next week. So they will set a birthday run at the end of Tagore ROAD. Please note this is not the run site from two weeks ago. On on will be at the coffee shop we were at two weeks ago (corner of Tagore Road and Tagore Lane) and this will also be the run site.
Hares needed: hares are urgently needed for September (12, 19, and 26) and October (10, 17, 24, and 31). Please see Posh Nash or email hareline@singaporeharriets.com and onsec@singaporeharriets.com. Sneaky Comer was, for some reason, given a drink as a look-alike for Posh Nash.
Visitors: Welcome Wayne, Kara, Carla, Gladys, Ross, Sandra, King Lear and Goodie Bag. Goodie Bag was a particularly appropriate visitor given the pile of goody bags by Triumph across the road.
Virgins: Csilla, who seemed to like it. At this point it was disclosed that one of our other visitors was also a virgin.
Lipstick: Comes Quietly, Slocum, and the male virgin.
Tits: missing, probably with Maggot.
Dick: missing. Anyone know?
AOB
· Pubic Zipp has been reading the Singapore newspaper (ed: a 5 minute exercise). Anyway, she read a story about a man running a bicyclist down, for which he received a $6000 fine and had his license suspended, later returned because driving was his livelihood. The next story was about a University student who stole and traded property – the penalty $60,000 fine and 6 months in jail. So Stiffy is charged with taking a big risk in Singapore “borrowing” the bust girl.
· Suzee Wong has a question – how many of you men (Associate Members) know what brand of bra your wife wears? She was talking to Posh Duck during the run and apparently he knows exactly where to buy bras – in Thailand. Posh Duck gets a drink for being over-informed.
· Slocum keeps Posh Duck in the circle, pointing out that Thailand is the world capital of sex changes.
· Sneaky Comer is scribing but didn’t really understand the previous charge. During the run, Stiffy had complained that SC had stuffed up his fabulous joke in the previous week’s newsletter. Sneaky Comer has Stiffy in to explain the previous joke, and take a drink.
· Not Good Enough wants two of our visitors in the circle. Not only did they arrive late, they complained about the chalk (too hard to see), and then the singing in the circle. Welcome, but give them a note.
· This reminds the GM that when our visitors did arrive late, they asked for directions. Who from? Boo. Boo told them “don’t follow me”. Give him a drink.
· This reminds Sneaky Comer that Pubic Zipp had confessed to him on the run that she was following Stiffy on a short cut (again), and every time she did that she got lost. Here’s to the slow learner.
· Not Good Enough has Sneaky Comer into the circle for lying – there was no shortcut on this run.
· The GM wants someone in the circle who knows the geography of the UK. “How would you compare Yorkshire and Australia?” Yorkshire is a lot smaller than Australia apparently, but they got more medals than Australia at the Olympics. The Kiwis jump in from the cheap seats to add on to this charge, but I couldn’t be bothered writing it down. All the Australian losers get a drink.
· Slocum thinks Ugly Bum is confused. He thought she was from Yorkshire, so why is she having a drink with the Aussies?
· This reminds Tiger Lily that last week, in Japan, she took Ugly Bum around for a tour and they had a nice time. Leaving Ugly Bum at the train station, Ugly Bum proceeded to get lost. [Ed: not sure why this wasn’t a charge on Tiger Lily, but never mind].
· Slocum has Tiger Lily in who is up to her old tricks. Running directly across a circle check, Tiger Lily asks “what’s that doing there”.
· GM announcement: Big Head’s birthday on Friday, so she gets a well sung happy birthday.
· Announcement: Kampong Hash Run on Saturday for Virginia Slim’s birthday at Tagore Drive, a MUCH better run than set by Boo recently is promised.
· Announcement: Slocum announces the anniversary of his meeting Jackoff.
And with that, it’s on-on to the slab of concrete next door for a fabulous Delhi Curry.
Scribed by Sneaky Comer