The ‘Rain Awareness’
Run.
Hares: Big Head & Too Easy.
Where: Bukit Batok Rd, behind the workers dorms.
On On: The New Ba Ba.
The Run:
A little afternoon down pour that dumped over 100mls of rain did little to dampen everyone’s spirits, but it dampened the trail paper, causing the Hares to re lay it. Great jungle trails to start us off, not to mention devious T Checks. Sneaky Comer, Comes Quietly and I had a perfect score of none out of 3 in breaking them.
Comes Quietly decided to leap across a stream rather than take the log balancing approach. His take off was excellent, lots of momentum, and he was well balanced in mid air over the water, showing poise and grace. At this stage he was looking at a score in the high nines. However, a poorly executed landing in the mud on the other side of the stream, which saw him stumble and almost head butt a tree, led to him being scored a 6.3. Head butting the tree or slipping back into the stream actually would have led to a higher score, purely on entertainment basis for the sadistic judges. (CR & SC)
A bit of single file walking sections got a few frustrated front runners caught at the back. This is exactly what good checks are meant to do, keep the Pack together. It’s not a f#*king race. Well done Hares.
Sneaky comer warned ‘Watch out for the drop. ‘three times. “What drop?’ asked Tiger Lily who was following. Shortly afterwards came a shout of ‘Ahhhhh!’ Yep, that drop.
Emerging safely intact from the jungle and the muddy slippery trails, we reached a wide semi made gravel road that seemed to offer a degree of safer running conditions. But not for Totally Unacceptable, who took a major fall on the loose gravel downhill section, leaving behind a significant amount of skin from various parts of his body.
A bit of pavement run spread the field out a bit, as we headed into the jungle behind the Greasy Spoon. Nice well marked kampong trails had us heading towards home.
Being a former resident of this part of Singapore, I used my local knowledge at a Circle Check to suggest that the trail will go right and through the tunnel of trees.
However, Tiger Lily and Posh Nash, who had arrived before us, said they had checked that way and there was no trail. Stupidly we believed them and did not check for ourselves. And so the last part of the trail was stuffed up for most runners as we retreated to the safety of Bukit Batok Road for the final stretch home.
A very good run Hares, well done.
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The Circle:
The GM stand in GM, Wet n Wild, composes herself after sampling a few glasses of Big Heads Triple Strength Margaritas.
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Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too dry, not enough tequila in the Margaritas. Top run.
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Tell us about your On On:
Plan B, the new Ba Ba.
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Next week’s run: Zipp is setting the run at Jalan Satu, near Old Airport Rd. Check the map for details.
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Visitors / Returnees:
Cheeks Out For The Boys, Robin, Totally Unacceptable, Boner, Lost and Found, Baldy Locks
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New Member: Nay
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Virgins:
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Tits: Missing tonight.
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Dick:
Lethal Weapon, who has had her hand on it for e few months, returns it, and my, it looks very worn out. It’s even out of shape. A case of Dick abuse is suggested. Lethal Weapon blames Father Anus for abusing the Dick in the back of his car. Also in is Wet N Wild who was heard to say she wanted to be between two women. After so much Dick abuse, the Pack decides that the lesbian option would allow some recovery time, so Wet N Wild takes the Dick.
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Lippy: Hooray, wearing long tights, was actually seen on trail.
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Awards –
200 runs to Lethal Weapon. ‘Off, off,’ was the call, but to no avail.
- 50 runs to Gypsy. No one called ‘Off,’ but he did anyway, and performed some body building poses. Steroids?
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AOB:
- Announcements. Lion City D&D 30th Anniversary. See Jack Off for tickets. Hash Challenge, March 2013. PHH. Kampong, Saturday just gone.
- Virginia pulls out his red book that has details of a run he set here many years ago. Not Tonight had signed it as Yes Tonight. Too Easy got a mention, and Father Anus and Stiffy were obviously lying with what they wrote.
- Hooray tells how Loose Change and Hand Job were Hares at this run site once, with Virginia Slim as their consultant. The girls became rather lost at one stage and were forced to contact their consultant for directions. Turned out to be an expensive call, as Slim was in Japan.
- Slowcum is 25 today. ‘Bullshit’ was the call, but a great chocolate cake came out anyway.
- Not Tonight recalls how a guy fell from outer space during the week. Totally Unacceptable tried to imitate him on the run and had his own spectacular fall.
- Cock Radio overtook a cement mixer truck, but had more trouble trying to get around Wet N Wild.
- Sneaky Comer is very happy – Wet Wild is full of Margarita and declared she wants to get between 2 women. All his dreams have come true!
- Hooray is sick of Two Jugs whinging all night.
- Wet N Wild asks if we remember the long run set by Hooray in Little India. How can we forget it. Last week in setting the run with the gals, all Hooray could say was ‘It’s going to be too long, it’s going to be long.’
- A thanks to the Hares for the super strength Margaritas.
- Sneaky Comer was rather surprised when someone who use to set dozens of runs from the Greasy Spoon failed to recognize it. In CR.
- The GM has noticed that the Hash Brew, Zipp, has forgotten her job and is off talking, while her assistant, Loose Change, is just sitting drinking the beer instead of serving it. A man’s not a camel you know.
- Too Easy confirms that Hooray was seen on trail.
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The GM then asks for any other business, then calls ‘Blah, blah, blah.’ as she walks across the Circle to give her a husband a cuddle. Where are the 2 girls?
And on that note, we assume the Circle came to an end!
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Scribed by Cock Radio
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The Magic Penis
A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he’d buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ‘ Well, I don’t know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except… The Magic Penis!’
The husband said, ‘The what’?
The man repeated, ‘The Magic Penis,’ and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.
The husband laughed, and said, ‘It looks like a dildo!’
The man then pointed to the door and said, ‘Magic Penis, door!’
The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The
whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said, ‘Magic Penis, return to box!’ and the penis stopped and returned to the box.
The husband bought it and took it home to his wife.
After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Magic Penis. She undressed,
opened the box and said ‘Magic Penis, my vagina.’
The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she’d had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off so she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the closest hospital.
On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A Police Officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, the woman said, ‘I haven’t had anything to drink officer. You see, I’ve got this Magic Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won’t stop screwing me.’
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied, ‘Yeah right… Magic Penis, my arse…!!!!!!!!!!’
The rest, as they say, is history…