The Halloween
Run.
Hares: Cock Radio & Virginia Slim. With Associate Member’s help.
Where: St. George’s Church Car Park, Dempsey
On On: Sammy’s Curry.
The Run:
It was a scary group that assembled in the car park – and they were just the runners not wearing costumes. Kamala looked particularly scary. A 100ml afternoon downpour of rain miraculously stopped at 5minutes to 4.
With a man in front at all times, the creepy and spooky pack headed out onto Napier Rd. The Hares wisely decided to avoid the Australian High Commission and American Embassy, where security troops on patrol looked even more frightening than us, instead taking the group to the other side of the road for the first Hold Check and photo shot outside the gate into the Botanical Gardens.
Most runners thought that we were doing a run through the Gardens, but as soon as Tiger Lily had disappeared out of sight, the Hare cunningly and quietly called everyone back to follow trail along Holland Rd.
It was then into the Dempsey area to harass and spook the evening diners and shopkeepers. 2 more Hold Checks and photo shots, including 1 outside a bar that was celebrating Halloween, then it was time to find the little red car with the drink stop. A very pregnant looking Virginia Slim then served the thirsty ghouls, demons, witches and convicts glasses of white wine before a leisurely stroll across the grass to home.
5.3km and 1 hour.
The Circle:
A well organized Circle tonight, with Cock Radio and Stiffy in control. Almost 50 in attendance was a great turn out. Even Boo and Quickie turned up just for the Circle. (Thanks everyone for dressing up and supporting the run. Next year we will have prize categories organized in advance and reward more of you for your efforts).
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Not scary enough. Possible run of the year may have been mentioned. Then again my hearing is not great.
Tell us about your On On:
Yes, we have one. Sammy’s Curry for burgers and chips served on banana leaf. (25 at On On – 3 still in Dempsey precinct at 3am. Guess who?)
Next week’s run: Sneaky Comer and Wet n Wild, Bukit Browne Cemetery
Visitors / Returnees:
King Leer, Baby Sitter, Red Snapper, Shuttle Cock, Malfunktion, Trash, Deep Throat 1, Deep Throat 2, Pissy, Boxer, Stiff. (So many visitors brought a smile to the Hash Cash face).
A visiting Russian gal threw half her down down over her head, landing on a few members. She was promptly dealt with by the GM’s for Beer abuse – Cock Radio smothered vegemite on her face and Stiffy sprayed her with Lynx, Africa scent.
New Member: nope
Virgins: Too scary.
Tits: Red Snapper – F#*king Easy for moving too slow, Dances With Kerbs for short cutting straight to the drink stop, and the Hares for misleading the women for forgetting to announce it had to be a man in front at all times. As Virginia Slim looks 6 months pregnant, it was decided he would need the Tits.
Dick:
After being returned from Lethal Weapon in a very sick way, it was decided the Dick should go for some plastic surgery. Wet n Wild took it to hospital and decided to have an ear operation herself while she was there.
Little Dick was rescued from E Bay and awarded to Tiger Lily. Apparently after a run in Hanoi last weekend, a little frog hopped out of her knickers. A little dick in the hand is better than 2 frogs in the bush.
Lippy: All the naughty gals who ran in front without a man. Tiger Lily, Big Head (who called ‘I need a fast man with a slow hand’), Jack Off, Wet Brazilian, Too Easy, Deep Throat. All were given Vegemite on the face and a spray of African Lynx.
Awards –
Goes Down Easy and F#*king Easy, who have 4 kids, were given a box of condoms to solve their breeding problem.
Best dressed runner. Nominations were Big Head and Sybil, Too Easy, Kan The Kobra, Trash, Wet Brazilian and Convict Man (visitor). Convict Man wins.
Scariest runner: Virginia Slim, Wet Brazilian, Not Tonight, Gypsy. Virgina Slim wins after he claimed Cock Radio was the father of the baby.
AOB:
- Zipp has discovered a pair of twin sisters who were reunited tonight, after being separated at birth. Big Head, who is very much a horny red head tonight, and Sybil.
- Stiffy gave a lesson in symmetry – in comes Boxer, Trash and Deep Throat 2 – look at the height symmetry.
- Slocum called all the naughty gals back in and pointed that they no longer were wearing their Vegemite. As the men always have to keep their lipstick on till the end of the Circle, it is only fair that this rule applies to naughty gals. And so an extra thick dab of Vegemite is reapplied.
- A man in front at all times stipulation on this run led to an interesting situation – Wet Brazilian observed at one stage Tiger Lily hanging off Malfunktion’s shoulder.
- Zipp liked Tiger Lily’s costume, but thought it was just lacking something at the front. Fat Crashing Bastard to the rescue and offers her 2 soft balloons, which Tiger Lily stuffed down her top. Unfortunately they fell straight through to the ground. Try stuffing a frog down there.
- Stiffy then offered Tiger Lily a pair of googly eyes on springs to improve her vision to find trail better.
- Two Jugs also has a sight problem – couldn’t see someone who was standing right next to her. Maybe her jugs got in the way?
- Deep Throat asked the Hares ‘What has Vegemite got to do with Halloween?’ Well, it’s scared the shit out of all the girls that have had it smothered over their face. How scary do you want it?
- Malfunktion reckons Vegemite is so scary, even Deep Throats dogs wouldn’t lick it off her face. However, Marmite.
- Kannot Kan reckons Malfunktion looks pretty ghoulish tonight – he is preparing his looks for the upcoming Viking Festival. Not only has he got the looks, word is he has been raping and pillaging and calling himself Hagar.
- Kannot Kan calls in Kan The Cobra, Boo and Quickie. What do they all have in common? The Sunday Hash. 500th run (equivalent to a 1000 runs for a weekly club). Dec 8th, Bottle Tree Park, $88. On a Saturday.
- Shaggy Dick Too in Hanoi got a mention for being resourceful at last week’s Mekong Hash. After reaching the summit of a particularly large mini mountain, his bowels had reached their limit. Finding a nice secluded area away from other runners, he squatted and enjoyed the scenic views over rural Viet Nam. However, no toilet paper to finish off. He was still extracting grass from, you know where, 3 days later and was on his 2nd tube of savlon. ‘Too much information,’ was the call from many of the gals.
- Why does Gypsy have a dollar sticking out his ear? He’s a buccaneer. (This took 5 minutes explaining before Tiger Lily got it.
- Lion City D&D Nov 17th. See Jack Off.
- Seletar D&D Nov 24th. Harriets table – see Slim.
-
Sunday 500th run Dec 8th. See Quickie, KNK etc
A big thanks to the Harriet’s for allowing the Associate Members to have a night of mismanagement. xxx.
Scribed by Dances With Kerbs and written up by Cock Radio
(thanks JJ)
And now for something completely different –
PARAPROSDOKIANS: (Winston Churchill loved them.)
I had to look up “paraprosdokian”. Here is the definition: “Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.” “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type of paraprosdokian.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left..
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
21. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Where there’s a will, there’s relations.