The ‘Forced Slimy Entry Birthday’ Run
Hares: Forced Entry & Virginia Slim
Where: Springleaf Rd.
On On: The Infamous Kitchen
The Run: Runners arrived at the former home turf run site of the Velcro Twins, only to be confronted by the sight of a limp Virginia Slim. But this time it was not the middle leg letting him down but the left one. Biggest worry was how could he carry the loaded drink cooler 500 metres into the jungle?
Runners scrambled up and over the embankment under a hot January sun, I’m not sure if the scratching in the soil at the top was made by pigs or runners rooting around. Hard to differentiate sometimes I guess.
A Slim inspired run is not complete without shitty shaggy shiggy. He got this over and done with early in the run, with runners sinking in crap that rated toxic levels so high that would make the Beijing air quality index sound pure and fresh.
Gypsy sunk to depths he has never been before. And that is deep. Pasturised? It was nearly up to his his neck for sure.
Runners ran/walked around in circles in tight jungle/ex Kampong tracks, dodging spiders, pigs, snakes, snares, traps, land mines etc for a total of 50 minutes and 2.4 kms before stumbling across an oasis – Forced Entry’s champers drink stop.
Watching runners emerge from the jungle after the drink stop, it was obvious the world was depleted of 1 or 2 less brain cells than it had before the run. Luckily the pack had few brain cells to lose.
The Circle: This was always going to be an interesting Circle, a 10 bottle Champagne Drink Stop and the promise of more free drinks at the On On. Good luck GM!
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run?
Not enough champagne, more shiggy, bit long. Good run.
Tell us about your On On:
The Famous Kitchen, $10. Subsidised and free beer and wine.
Next week’s run: Two Jugs, Colbar- use car park behind. Will be a clean run.
Visitors / Returnees:
Stiff and Penile Extension are in, and show us how their jigsaw parts fit together. Not a pretty sight.
Virgins:
There was, and Penile Extension was a sub for Wee Willie who had carried the drink cooler back and vanished.
New Member: Nope.
Lipstick: Talking on your phone continuously during the Circle, and not paying guests fees. Totally Unacceptable. He then proceeds to give us an astronomy lesson. Zipp asks him ‘Where is Uranus?’ Nice one Zipp.
Tits: Maggot has had a rough week and finds comfort by holding onto the Tits for a bit longer.
Dick:
Stiff, not on the French bandwagon this week, decides to follow a celebrity – the Wicked Witch of the West, who was waving her wand all about in the jungle. Two Jugs gets the Dick and a new wand to wave the cobwebs away. ‘Ding dong the witch is dead,…..’
Awards – to anyone still sober.
Before the Circle starts:
Totally Unacceptable is whacked on the head by the GM for phone abuse.
Sybil has put her pants on back the front.
‘Too Easy, you talk all night.’
Shooting star.
‘Shut the F..k up,’ from Kamala and some sort of control is gained for the GM.
Yep, things are messy.
AOB:
- Speaking of astronomy, thanks to Stiff, the GM has seen 2 moons tonight. And Uranus.
- The GM complains to the Hares that not only did we have to put up with smelly shiggy, but also snakes nests. This is going too far. Stiffener and Pubic Zipp refused to jump them. Beware the snake in the grass.
- Virginia Slim tells how Big Head was trying to impress her boss, saying she had to work instead of attend a free birthday Japanese meal. Sounds fishy.
- The GM charged Big Head for almost being trapped in the jungle – by a wire noose.
- Slocum charged Jack Off for her Tarzan impersonation – swinging on a vine and pulling down the branch onto the runners behind.
- Kamala (people sit, lie, top up drinks) ‘I’ve been extremely very quiet today.’ And that was the only coherent sentence I wrote. The rest of the charge went – ‘snakes nest, baby, f…ing sexy snakes, she missed sexy bitches, she miss the snakes, sexy bitches drink.’ You can interpret. Good luck.
- Tiger Lily was enjoying Japanese seafood with Virginia Slim, but Forced Entry did not like the Cod egg because it was too slimy.
- Cock Radio noticed that Tiger Lily, despite using 23 bottles of water to wash with after the run, still had white splotches of a white substance in her hair. Using the fullest of my tactful, discreet, compassionate Aussie decorum, I subtly pointed this out to Tiger Lily. The reply I received, at volume 7.8, was ‘Is it sperm? Wow, what a good shot.’ Japanese gals don’t muck around huh.
- Tiger Lily commented that sperm is good for your hair. Gypsy calls out ‘I’ll try anything.’ There’s something about Gypsy.
- Comes Quietly was not happy with CR leaving his balls in his car after last Fridays Oz Day run. Comes Quietly also got all the talkative girls in too, so they would be quiet for a minute and he could be heard.
- Wet N Wild is chicken the GM. She has a new Hash Brew lined up for next year’s committee – Hooray, who is very accommodating in pouring wine for the new ladies.
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Circle adjourned.
On on to the on on.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stout.
Barman asks, “What’s wrong with Stout?”
Bloke says, “I had 12 pints of Stout last night and when I came
round I was f#*king skint.”
Barman says, “12 pints of anything costs about the same.”
Bloke replies, “Skint’s my dog.”