The ‘Annual Valentine’s’ Run
Hares: Stiff.
Where: House of Stiff, Seletar.
On On: On site Mr. Ho
The Run: The hare of the annual Valentine’s party run announced it as a “variation on a theme” to which Sneaky Comer rudely asked “clockwise or anticlockwise”. In the end it was clockwise, but not really in the form expected. After waiting for a “quorum”, which turned out to be a baker’s dozen, the pack reluctantly left the party venue by the back gate, taking care not to “let the dogs out”. Our front runners were momentarily confused, first asking if men could lead the run and then turning right to follow imaginary paper off the nature strip (soon to be a six lane road, Seletar Road #72 (or perhaps the LTA could reinstate one of the previously expunged roads, such as Knights Bridge. If you are particularly anal, you should see http://www.singaporeharriets.com/Newsletters/SingaporeHarrietsRun1853.pdf and http://shhhog.wordpress.com/2009/02/21/expunging-singapore/ and http://postcardsfromseletar.com/2008/12/15/roads-will-be-expunged/ ). But I digress, just like the front runners.
Paper was pointed out hanging from a tree between two houses out to the road, but a closed gate was another barrier. Just open it, suggested Sneaky Comer. “Close the gate behind you please” was suggested, answered by “f&*k off”. Anyway, out past the Seletar gate, across the TPE, and into the forest above Yio Chu Kang. We then meandered through every shi&&y muddy track we could find, down along the TPE to Sengkang Riverside Park. A T-check confused some, lost soles confused others, and we finally headed back across the canal and back to Anchorvale street, then along to Thanggam station, up Lorong Samak, then along Lorong Tanggam to cut the corner back to Jalan Kayu and back home.
The Circle: A very casual and relaxed Circle got underway, with runners still in their gear lounging around on the lawns.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run?
Some new territory, when is the grass lane at the back of the house going to turn into a 6 lane highway? Good run.
Tell us about your On On:
Mr. Ho’s famous Salmon, beef, creamy potatoes, salad etc. No horse meat. Nor whale.
Next week’s run: Too Easy, Mad Chinaman, Lorong Lada Hitam
Visitors / Returnees: Impossible & Wee Willy were the returnees, Stiff and Welsh Git the visitors. Knobby Boy Scout spent half the circle debating whether he was a visitor or returnee.
Virgins:
Nope.
New Member: Nope.
Lipstick: Nope.
Tits: Goes Down Easy (standing in for Twin Towers) has a fine pair, and tells us it the first time she has had Tits. (Seems like something under her shirt has been doing a fair impersonation). She was running behind Fat Crashing Bastard when he suddenly stopped without indicating, causing her to rear end him. ‘Open your eyes’ was his reaction. FCB puts the Tits on, and CR then turned them around onto his back so they would act as a fender for future rear end collisions.
Dick:
Stiffy has had a very sick Dick in Burma, and it is still recovering. (Please everyone, ask Stiffy how his bike riding trip in Burma went).
Awards – nope
AOB:
- Stiff starts off with a tale of a wild hog being snared.
- This reminds Cock Radio of 4 Kiwis in a hatchback who were pulled over by the police. The police discovered not one, but eleven, sheep hog tied in the back seat. I kid you not. Wet ‘n Wild, our resident Kiwi, is given a drink and a Baa Baa song.
- Wet Pet tells how Welsh Git ripped his running shorts putting on his shorts and spent the whole run trying to hide his crack. Just as well he didn’t get rear ended.
- Sneaky Comer reminisces about the good old days when runners just ran. Now it is all about technology. Impossible and Goes Down Easy were overheard while looking at their GPS trying to work out if they had covered 500 meters or 501 metres. Just run the F*#king Hash!
- Wet Brazilian questions Stiff’s claim that he used 7 rolls of toilet paper to set the trail. At times paper was so few and far between it was more like 7 sheets rather than 7 rolls.
- Posh Nash is accused of something while all this is going on, but claims ‘I’m an official,’ as her defence.
- The GM, always on the lookout for male talent, got more than she bargained for when she was distracted by the bulge on the side of Fat Crashing Bastards leg. Strange place to keep his bulge.
- Stiff then tells how Wet Brazilian twisted her ankle when she was distracted while admiring Fat Crashing Bastard’s bulge.
- Wet Brazilian was in good hands when she twisted her ankle. Wee Willy was first on the scene and rendered first aid advice – ‘Get up, keep running, don’t be weak you girl.’ Well done Doctor Willy.
On on to the on on.
And what a great on on it was, fantastic food, great wines (Fat Bird white was a winner), great company, top location and all under a beautiful tropical sky.
Thanks Stiff, Stiffener, the Maid, and the adopted daughter in law. And the 2 (3?) dogs.
And thanks to all the Committee involved for putting it together.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
A young woman confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience with a raised glass of water. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, ‘half empty or half full?’… She fooled them all …. “How heavy is this glass of water?” she inquired with a smile.
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied , “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “and that’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.”
“As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden – holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night… Pick them up tomorrow.
1 * Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue!
2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
4 * Drive carefully… It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8 * Never buy a car you can’t push.
9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
10 * Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
11 * Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.
13 * When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
19 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.
20 *Save the Earth….. It’s the only planet with chocolate!*
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
Run the F#%king Hash!