The ‘Forced Kan Kan’ Run.
Sengkang Riverside Park
Kannot Kan, Kan the Kobra, Forced Entry
On On: Local Coffee Shop around the corner
Â
The Run: Threatening rain did just enough to get rid of the chalk markings at the start and end of the run, but no serious damage done. But there is some serious damage being done to the running area surrounding this run site as development encroaches from all directions.
The Hares decided to make cunning use of the patch of jungle that is remaining. Instead of going under the TPE and following the river along as we often do, it was into the jungle at the far side of the park. Very cleverly, the trail zig zagged up and down in a very tight formation. Gypsy was in foreign territory – no Kiwi walk and talkers for him to get stuck behind and no Phony Dick to lead him astray.
Highlights were the wild dogs that had a few runners back tracking and the spiders that hung everywhere. This is a problem when you have 2 short Hares setting the run – the spiders at head height for everyone else are still there. The GM ran face first into a huge one, causing her to scream so loud that Comes Quietly who was behind her suffered temporary deafness.
The Pack emerged near the light rail to follow the arrowless footpath home in just under 1 hour.
Well done Hares, good work.
   Â
The Circle: Wet Brazilian managed to get quite a nice looking Circle formed under the bridge.
Â
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run?
Not enough spiders and dogs. A very good run.
Â
Tell us about your On On:
Coffee Shop up the road.
Â
Next week’s run: Singapore. [Subsequently decided to be Vigilante Drive, top car park.]
Â
Visitors / Returnees: Phony Dick, Trash, Totally Unacceptable, Wee Willy, Stiff, Betty Boob, BMW, Boxer, Penile Extension, Deb.
Â
Virgins:
Nope.
Â
New Member: Nope.
Â
Lipstick: Totally Unacceptable, Wee Willy, Phony Dick, Penile Extension, F#*king Easy, BMW
Â
Tits: Gypsy gave them to the GM for falsely accusing him of something for 3 weeks. A false tits award.
Â
Dick:
Still with Sneaky. But Not Tonight tells us that she has a dickhead in her house – Stiffy. A Stiffy Dick charge. Stiffy, who only works part time now, has been given some house duties to carry out. One of them is to feed the animals that reside outside. So with plastic bag of food, out he goes and performs his duties. Unfortunately, he did not realise he was being watched by a group of monkeys. His strenuous tasks over, Stiffy lies back on the couch and puts the TV on. While the grills on the windows are a sure way to keep the monkeys out, their effectiveness is rather diminished when the front door is left open. The monkeys simply followed our house husband through the door, and while Stiffy watched TV in the lounge, the monkeys helped themselves to the fruit bowl in the kitchen. You dickhead.
Â
Awards – nope
Â
AOB:
- Hooray does some arithmetic. If you make $100 but owe $175, how much money do you have? It seems this is beyond the capabilities of the Brits, who have hired a Canadian to run their Government finances. In comes Two Jugs, whose attempt to sing the Canadian National Anthem is drowned out by “She alright, she’s a little flat chested……’
- Wet Brazilian gets all the Singaporeans in. Now here is a country with so much money that they are putting down Astro Turf in the jungle. Yep, there in the jungle was a heap of discarded Astro Turf. This is going too far in the Greening Singapore campaign – for f#*ks sake, the jungle is already green.
- Stiffy keeps the Singaporeans in. We all know there is a shortage of space in Singapore. Now the Singapore Sports School has laid a 100 metre Astro Turf sprint track in one of its corridors. What happened to the old school rule of ‘No running in the corridor?’ (There is a theory that they ordered enough Astro Turf for a whole athletics track, but only used a 100 metre strip in the corridor- the rest was discarded in the jungles of Sengkang.)
- The GM agrees that this was a well laid run. Phony Dick’s comment was ‘not a bad run considering it was set by girls.’ So what’s the charge GM?
- Betty Boop’s birthday today. BMW, you cheap arse, bringing her to the Hash instead of taking her out for her birthday.
- Hooray asks Wee Willy how many times he has run in the Bricklands area? ‘Countless,’ was the reply. Then how did you manage to get lost for 2 & ½ hours with your dog?
- GM brings out a big cake for the Kannot Kan’s birthday.
- Stiffener went into the bank to withdraw some of Stiff’s money. Not sure where the charge then went, but it involved Gypsy and Zipp, if a PR marries a foreigner, can they get PR?
- Forced Entry asks Stiffy to squirt talkers with a water pistol. Stiffy reckons a Super Soaker or water cannon would be more appropriate. Phony Dick warns that squirting people could be the first stage of assault.
- The blonde visitor calls in ‘you, you and you.’ F#*king Easy assured her he would not leave her or lead her astray. He did both. Penile Extension harassed her to run and then blamed it on Boxer.
- Penile Extension gets all the bargain hunters who are prepared to queue for hours in i.e. the Singaporeans. Ikea were selling their famous horsemeat free meatballs for 10 cents, causing a queue all the way back to Yishun.
- Kannot Kan mentions Stiffener’s birthday and she is going on a big cruise, on her own (hence the withdrawal of Stiff’s money). He then tells how Kan the Kobra went on a cruise once – it was a one night casino cruise, but she does not even gamble.
- Posh Duck is nabbed by BMW for having his hand in his pocket.
- Cock Radio points out a candidate for the next Hash Brew – Kan the Kobra is wearing a blue and yellow top with a blue skirt, looking very much like a Tiger girl.
- Forced Entry then points out 3 people for not having Hash uniform – F#*king Easy, Kannot Kan and the blonde visitor.
- Kampong was on last Saturday.
Â
On On to the On On.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
Â
A Pom and a Irishman go to a pastry shop.
The Pom whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn’t notice.
The Pom says to the Irishman: You see how clever we are? You’ll never beat that!
The Irishman says to the Pom: Watch this, an Irishman is always cleverer than an Pom.
He says to the baker, give me a cookie, I can show you a magic trick!
The baker gives him the cookie which the Irishman promptly eats. Then he says to the baker:
Give me another cookie for my magic trick. The baker is getting suspicious but he gives it to him. He eats this one too.
Then he says again: Give me one more cookie… The baker is getting angry now but gives him one anyway.
The Irishman eats this one too.
Now the baker is really mad, and he yells: And where is your famous magic trick?
The Irishman says: Look in the Pom’s pocket!