Run Report #2077 27/3/2013

The ‘Glam in Kampong’ Run.

Kampong Bugis.

Dances with Kerbs & Pubic Zipp

On On: On site packet Nasi Beryani

 

The Run: Hmmm, an interesting run site with only two ways out and more than a little tarmac around it begged the question of which way we would be going on. The hares did a good job of confusing everyone, including more than one construction worker wondering what all these people were doing running through their construction site.

 

So we started out with a circle check in the aptly named “open space” behind the Singapore Johore Factories building. On was found over on Bugis Beach (East), then over Geylang Road to a circle check that had us stumped for a good 5 minutes. Into Stadium Link (under construction) to annoy the construction workers, then under the Nicoll Highway bridge to annoy more construction workers (last seen erecting a new fence to keep any remaining runners out of the site – see “shutting the barn door after the horse has bolted”). Some of us (well me) got screwed trying to short cut here and were left well behind the pack as they headed back over Nicoll Highway and into the Golden Mile from the basement car park. A quick stop in the Karaoke pub was followed by a prayer at Masjid Hajjah Fatimah (the only mosque named after a woman, according to Pubic Zipp).

 

We then got on the overhead bridge at the Concourse (under construction) to Nicoll MRT, then into the Promenade running track for the run home. 6.75km and 1.01 for me, so I guess the run length was pretty good, thanks hares.

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The Circle: Wet Brazilian formed up the circle in a corner of the old gasworks. Plans to have it in the middle were rudely interrupted by the Kampong Glam Slow Yoga club. The GM distinguishes herself by calling the hares in the circle, looks around, sees Dances with Kerbs, and asks “where’s the other hare?” Ummm, standing right next to Dances with Kerbs.

 

Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run?
The hares point out that “they took us to a Karaoke bar, so it should be a good run”. “Not enough tape, too many Bangladeshi workers”, etc – good run!

 

Tell us about your On On:
$7 packet Biryani, “we ordered a few more than the number who put their hands up, so good luck”. I think we had more than enough food and spare curry for those who managed to spill theirs all over our feet, not naming any names…..T_o _ug_.

 

Jackoff was acting as hash brew and managed to spill chips all over the place, so she gets a drink.

 

Next week’s run: Sneaky Comer announced next week’s run as “Save Sembawang” by Cock Radio. This prompted a flurry of activity as Stiffy and Jackoff accosted him to tell him “it was the anniversary run for Jackoff and Slocum, what’s going on”. “I don’t know”, replied Sneaky, “I only read the hareline, I don’t make it up”. Anyway, after another flurry of texts and Facebook messages, the run will NOW be:

Jackoff and Slocum’s Anniversary Run, at the Hundu Cemetery (Jalan Bahar). See the directions above and perhaps look at this map:

 

 

Visitors / Returnees: Visitors well and truly outnumbered members tonight, thanks for coming Vatic&nt, Just Marina, Boxer, Totally Unacceptable, Semen, Tits, Deb, Welsh Git, Dead Fish, Shrinky Dink, and Bugs. Wee Willy is a returnee.

 

Virgins:
Nope.

 

New Member: Welcome Deb! “Why did she join in the last week of the quarter”, someone was quick to ask. [Ed: she wasn't that silly, and Quickie isn't mean]. Deb, if you read this, I managed to wash your email address, please send it to onsec@singaporeharriets.com, thanks].

 

Lipstick: Hooray, as usual; Slinky Dink; Herr Zipp, Bugs.

 

Tits: Hooray has Too Easy, Too Jugs, and new member Deb in for racing on the hash. New member Deb gets the tits.

 

Dick:
Wet Brazilian reports that she comes to the hash to be fit and healthy. But one Harriet thought it was too far to walk from the car park to the run site – about 10m. Jackoff is on in but wants to know who “told on her”. She gets the Dick, protesting that “it doesn’t look good on me”.

 

Awards – nope

 

Announcements:

• The GM is not wearing F&ck Me Shoes, she is wearing “school shoes”.
  
• We desperately need hares for April 17, please step in and help.
  

 

AOB:

• Not Tonight reports that there is a very small number of committee members here tonight, so those that are here are working extra hard. Special mention for Haberdash, Pubic Zipp, who is selling peeks tonight: “if you want to see it, it will cost you $2″.
  
• Stiffy has made some comment about the above charge, so Not Tonights wants to know how Karaoke Girls charge more than $2?
  
• Stiffy calls the hares in. Then a Singaporean. He points out there was a big sign in the park stating that it is “Strictly prohibited to steal water from this toilet”. In the same vicinity are lovely concrete benches with wooden seats attached to them that are perfectly designed to make sitting, or any other activity (such as illicit sex), very uncomfortable. The charge is for the soliciting hares, and I think Posh Duck had something to do with the charge as well.
  
• Vatic&nt calls in Herr Zipp and Pubic Zipp. On trail he noticed Herr Zipp seeming to find some sneaky short cuts, and he was wondering if his wife was giving him sneaky hints. Later, however, seeing HZ well off trail, he figured he must just have been off trail the whole time.
  
• Deb, being a front runner, got back to the run site early to find Posh Duck getting all hot and bothered in the car park.
  
• Herr Zipp calls in Sybil. Sybil, unfortunately, is not here, recuperating from her broken leg. Herr Zipp wants a look-a-like, he thinks Sybil’s broken leg excuse for not setting her own run is “pretty lame”.
  
• Not Tonight calls in our Turkish visitors Semen and Tits (copycat Velcros). Apparently they are on hash holiday, having been to at least 10 hashes around the region. They report that “this is the best hashs we have been on”. Thanks, you’re welcome, and have a drink.
  
• Sneaky Comer calls in a Singaporean (Posh Duck) and Ang Moh (Herr Zipp). We all know Singaporeans are very law abiding and wouldn’t cross the construction site boundaries that we ran through/past. The Ang Moh’s, on the other hand, were quite content to run through the construction sites, all the while holding up their hands and saying “it’s all right, I’m just running through here”. Here’s to the two sides of the law!
  
• Wet Brazilian has been agitated by the quality of the circle singing tonight, which concern was echoed by three of our male visitors. Until, that is, they ran out of puff and gave up with an “arrgghhh” in the middle of a song. On in three that are past their prime: Dead Fish, Shrinky Dink, and Bugs.
  
• Stiffy is taking credit for signing up our new member Deb. When she asked the fees she asked “what I am getting for my money”. Well Stiffy can now report that she got a very cheap boob job for the money and she should be very happy.
  
• This prompted some attempts to name Deb with “Boob Job” or “Cheap Boob Job” or “Silicon Queen” but there was insufficient enthusiasm so naming will come some other day. [Editorial note: in the old days we got to know our members before we named them; and naming visitors we don't know has the potential to piss them off. Just a thought….]
  
• Too Easy to the hares for disrupting the local’s downward dogs (Yoga lesson in the pavilion next to us).
  
• Herr Zipp calls in Two Jugs, who has been assisting as Hash Brew. Or has she? She should be named Gunga Din, she has been serving water all night. [Ed: if your education in classics has been sadly lacking, as mine was (Australian Education System), see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gunga_Din ]
  

 

And with that it’s On On to the On On.

Scribed by Sneaky Comer.

 

Drunk Blonde

 

A drunk blonde woman was sitting at a bar says to the barman, “Barfender, I’d like a marhini for my heartburn.”

 

The barman mixes her drink and puts in down in front of her.

 

A few minutes later, she calls him over and says, “Barfender, I’d like a marhini for my heartburn.”

 

He rolls his eyes but mixes her drink anyway and sets it down in front of her.

 

A few minutes later, she waves him over again and says, “Barfender, I’d like a marhini for my heartburn.”

 

The barman looks her up and down and says, “First off, it’s bartender, not barfender. Second off, it’s martini, not marhini. And third, you don’t have heartburn, your boob is in the ashtray.”

 

Breast Stroke

 

A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the Huron River Breast Stroke Championships.

 

The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant.

 

Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived.

 

The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her.

 

They embraced the young girl as she came ashore.

 

After all of the excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered, “I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used their arms.”