Run Report #2078 03/4/2013

The ‘Ten Years of Married Bliss thrown under a tank’ Run.

The little shelter at the END of Hindu Cemetery Path 1.

Happily married Jackoff and Slocum with consultant Stiffy

On On: On site Italian food by Boxer

 

The Run: Last time I ran from this site, Stiffy took me on a little short cut that resulted in a search party car rescuing us on Jalan Bahar at 8.10pm. ‘It didn’t seem this far last week when I was here last week,’ he had commented at one stage. That’s because it was the Bike Hash and you were on your bloody bike, you whacker!

 

So with Stiffy as consultant for this run, and the other 2 Hares with their bikes, it was suggested that we all should take a survival kit and torch with us.

 

After the early arrivals were entertained by 3 wild boars scampering around, we set off across the saturated field via the most waterlogged sections available.

 

As we cruised on down the first track, a clattering of machinery and engines could be heard. The rumbling got louder and suddenly a battalion of Tanks and Armored Personnel Vehicles emerged from the jungle coming right at us. Holy shit!

Was it Kim Jung Un using Google maps to try and invade South Korea? I suggested to Big Head that she do a Tiamen Square re enactment and stand in the pathway of the leading tank. However, she had already jumped into the nearest ditch. Where are the yanks when you need them? Does anyone have a white hanky then?

Finally some smiling faces waving at us confirmed that it was just the Singapore Army out doing some wild boar shooting. On on.

 

As we ran, we did a left hand turn. And then another. And yet another left hand turn followed by another. I said to Sneaky Comer that if we don’t go right in a minute, we will be back where we started. And that’s exactly what happened – a loop to slow the front runners down and get the walkers ahead.

 

Some lovely running trails were had and the Hares were on hand on their bikes to guide us where the paper trail had been washed away. This was greatly appreciated, even if one of the Hares accidently sent us the wrong way at one stage. This resulted in Wet ‘n Wild being the lead woman until she was on her hands and knees from exhaustion.

 

At one stage we had to cross a Singapore version of the Colorado River. When the Hares set the run, they crossed on dry rocks. After the rain , it was a wild torrent with Grade 1 rapids suitable for the Olympic White Water events. The 2 poor Virgins asked ‘Do we really have to cross that?’

 

A 1 hour run, and 8km+. Bloody good run Hares, I enjoyed that.   Â

 

The Circle:

 

Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run?
Pig of a run, bit dead, not enough spirit. A very good run, tanks for the memories. Jack Off Spits her Down Down out – water.

 

Tell us about your On On:
On site, by Boxer. Lovely Italian food. $12.

 

Next week’s run: Return of Thighs the Limit, Bukit Brown, co Hare Sneaky Comer.

 

Lipstick: Cock Radio, Sneaky Comer, Phony Dick, Herr Zipp.

 

Visitors / Returnees: Phony Dick, Dead Fish, ….

 

Virgins:
Welcome Francis and Laura, hopefully you will come again soon.

 

New Member: nope.

 

Tits: New member Deb wants to give to Not Good Enough, but he has fled so Herr Zipp in as a look a like. But he is just a decoy, as the Tits end up with Slocum – for getting lost on his own trail and having to rely on GPS to save him.

 

Dick:
Jack Off wants to award the member to Posh Nash, but she’s not here. The April 3rd Run was double booked, and Jack Off is grateful for Cock Radio giving up his booking for them. The GM is given the Dick for being in charge of a Committee cock up.

 

Awards – nope

 

AOB:

• Cock Radio follows up on the double booking. Since Christmas, the newsletter had been carrying an urgent message ‘Hares needed urgently for April 3rd. No Hare no Run.’ So with only 2 weeks to go, and still no Hare, being a good Samaritan, I logged onto the web site and booked the run, thus causing panic for Jack Off who had booked the date with Posh Nash some time ago, who forgot to put it on the Hareline. A look at the Hareline shows there are 4 runs booked for the next 12 months. Make that 5, Fat Crashing Bastard has booked July 17th but it hasn’t been put on the Hareline either. And with so many vacancies, Stiffy whinges about the Aussies having their Anzac Run and not leaving a date for his St George’s Day Run. In come the Committee and Stiffy for causing Hareline grief.
  
• Wet Pet went to the wrong shelter for the run, thanks to Stiffy’s directions. He then told her she he may not have room for her to get a ride back with him after the run because there are a couple of young virgin gals.
  
• Slowcum answered a question about how come the Hares were on mountain bikes? Because tanks can travel faster than even the fastest Harriet can run.
  
• Deb has educated one of the virgin gals. When confronted with a ‘Danger, keep out sign’ with the gun and hands up picture, virgin gal asked ‘Are we allowed in there?’ Deb explained that there are no rules on the Hash, except for the rule that says ‘There are no rules on the Hash.’ And Rule number 2 that says ‘Refer to Rule 1.’ We could mention the Rule about no poofters, but we don’t want to confuse the poor gal.
  
• Too Easy tells us why we are here tonight (because the Hares stole my run?) The Velcro’s 10th Anniversary of course. A cake is presented (should have been a tank cake) and Not Tonight then asks Too Easy if she can say something too, completely by passing the GM. It is pointed out that there are a number of past Velcro shirts being worn. Fat Crashing Bastard has the 2nd Anniversary, and I managed to find the 1st Anniversary shirt and was impressed that it still fitted after 9 years. Big Head pointed out that there are different definitions of the word ‘Fit.’
  
• Slowcum then gave a moving speech thanking his wonderful wife of 10 years for making him the luckiest man this side of the black stump. This had everyone reaching for their tissues and caused the scribe to end up with soggy notes.
  
• Someone, possibly Gypsy, called out that he needed a dentist as all this sweetness had caused a cavity.
  
• Zipp, not to be outdone, tells how she and Gypsy were happy for 20 years. And then they met each other.
  
• Stiffy agreed to a Good Friday recee with the other 2 Hares, meet there at 10.30am. Before the run site, Stiffy was stuck in a 2.5 km traffic jam. Those that weren’t heading to the Woodlands or Tuas Checkpoints to get away for the long weekend were instead heading to the cemeteries for the Qing Ming Festival (sweeping of the Graves). Stiffy rang Slowcum and suggested that they not bother coming. He also expressed surprise that Jack Off, being Chinese, had not told him about this yearly ritual. Jack Off quickly chirped in and said ‘He doesn’t listen to anything I say, so why bother.’ Well, looks like the 2nd ten years could be more challenging.
  

 

On that note, On On to the On.

Scribed by Cock Radio.