Sembawang Rd (Car park diagonally opposite Sembawang Shopping Centre – virgin run site)
Hare: Cock Radio
On On: 1036 Coffee Shop
The Run:
A new run site but familiar rumblings of thunder and rain lurking around. The Hare warned that it would not be a long run so don’t run fast. Also there is a prize for anyone correctly counting the number of construction sites passed on the run.
Across Sembawang Rd and it was Jack Off breaking the first Circle Check. The Pack was stretched out along the grassland along the MRT to the next Circle at the canal. Wee Willy crossed the road in the direction of the fire station. Wrong. It was into forest for a parallel trail back to where we had just come from. Through a little market garden where a look-alike monk was seen chanting and begging for alms in front of a little shrine. (You tight buggers, I didn’t even get 20 cents).
Trail came out of the forest and followed grassland all the way to the canal (again). Some runners exited out of the grasslands and were swallowed up by the maize of Sembawang back streets, never to be seen again. Wet ‘n Wild may have been one of them.
Long traffic lights at Sembawang Rd got the Pack back together and allowed Wee Willy to catch up after his tour of Yishun Fire Station.
Along Gambas Ave. before more grasslands. The last part of the run into the jungle was abandoned due to darkness and the fact that home was only 200 metres away.
5km in 45 minutes, apart from those runners still lost in the backstreets.
The Circle: The new GM, Pubic Zipp, asserts her authority and gets a good sized group of 30 runners assembled. She also points out that, as she is still a new GM, she has her F#*k Me Trainers on.
Wet ‘n Wild has the Anzac Biscuits she was going to give us 3 weeks ago. Nearly as long as the troops in the trenches had to wait for them to arrive from Australia during WW 1.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? An early nomination for Run of the Year. (Irrelevant that it is the only run of the year so far).
Tell us about your On On: 1036 Coffee Shop, Sembawang Rd. (early nomination for On On of Year)
Next week’s run: East Coast Park, car park F2. Wet ‘n Wild, Sneaky Comer. Fill up with petrol and bring your roller blades.
Lipstick: Hooray, F*#kin’ Easy (who arrived late and was coming into the car park as we were going out.) Wee Willy and the Virgin James. There was no lippy so they all got a kiss from the GM instead. Gypsy then insisted he was in front several times.
Visitors / Returnees: Dick on the Man, Eat My Penis, Wee Willie, Lap Dancer, Stiff and the returning Quicksand who has not been sighted for years. Obviously she knows a good run when she sees it.
Virgins: James
New Member: nope.
Tits: Gypsy asked the Virgin James if he was coming next week.
‘Probably’ was his fatal answer that made certain of him getting the Tits. James was seen tip toeing like a fairy around some waterlogged areas. Why? These are my only pair of shoes. So who brought him and failed to advise to bring a change of clothes. Eat My Penis. One of them got the Tits. Maybe they got 1 each.
Dick: Cock Radio had no one to give it too. Until Stiffy started telling me about the new phallic banana protectors you can buy at the $2 shop. Thanks Stiffy, here’s the Dick, now go and buy a banana protector for it.
Awards –nope.
AOB:
- The GM thanks the old committee and introduces the new one. Good luck!
- Cock Radio then asks for answers to the number of construction sites quizzed. Stiff confidently was calling out 7, but he didn’t have his hand up so he was disqualified. Cock Radio then insisted that Lap Dancer have a try. ‘What is the prize?’ she asked hesitantly. ‘A night out with me,’ declared Cock Radio. Lap Dancer promptly gave 1 as her answer. ‘Close enough, Lap Dancer wins.’ Yay!
- Stiffy cannot believe that Kannot Kan thought Anzac Biscuits were baked by Americans.
- Fat Crashing Bastard shows us scary pictures of what the Velcro Twins might look like in 30 years. An American couple has been wearing the same clothes as each other for 30 years. 20 years to go Jack Off and Slocum.
- Kannot Kan comes up with some Velcro style names that go to together (Jack Off – Slocum), such as Stiff and Stiffener, Stiffy and Not Tonight. The return of Quicksand tonight but where is Ayam Zinking?
- Herr Zipp has a whinge – the lippy boys all got a kiss from his GM wife, but all he gets is half f#*ked.
- Eat My Penis charged Lap Dancer for being tired along the run. (Wait till she has had her night out with me.)
- Don’t go away Lap Dancer. Towards the end of this run of the year, Lap Dancer, who was walking, asked me if we were half way yet? When I said we were 200 meters from home, she called ‘On on’ and sprinted home.
- The GM calls in Goes Down Easy – we hope she does not go down easy while running the Great Wall of China.
- Stiff noticed the new GM referring to a pink note book. Why? It has the order of proceedings in it. The GM then produced the pink note book – from out of the back of her shorts! Neat trick.
- The GM asked visitor Francis what he liked most about this run of the year. ‘The drains.’ Now there is a man with his mind in the gutter.
- Dances With Kerbs observed what runners do at a Circle Check. Some check, some stand around chatting while the others check. But Quicksand prefers to climb on the play equipment. We always knew she was a playful little thing.
- Eat My Penis thanks Kannot Kan. Why? Because Kannot Kan often turns up late and even if he does not run, he still insists on changing and having a long shower in front of everyone, inflicting serious mental damages on those in view. Tonight he is still in work clothes – no shower. Thank you.
- The GM has been going to belly dancing class and wants to spark up her poor neglected husband, Herr Zipp. And to help out she calls in Lap Dancer for a demo. Gypsy and I immediately moved to the other side of the Circle for a rear view. Belly dancing is not all about the belly.
- The GM charged Two Jugs for being too innocent – she has not done anything worthy of being charged yet.
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Dances With Kerbs and Quicksand were charged for talking, and Forced Entry for not talking. No one is safe with this GM.
On that note, On On to the On On. (on on of the year that is)
Scribed by a more coherent Cock Radio.
On On Report – 1036 Coffee Shop, $10, – 21 in attendance. Seriously good food and HHH friendly. On on of year at this stage.
Confessions of a Hooker (possible joke of the year)
A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wedding anniversary
when the wife says, ‘Darling, as this is such a special occasion, I think that it is time I made a confession:
Before we were married I was a hooker for eight years.’
The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife’s eyes and says,
‘My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years! I cannot hold your past against you, maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our sex life a bit?’
She said, ‘I don’t think you understand, my name was Brian and I played rugby for Wales . … .’