Lorong Sesuai
Hares: Mother’s Tongue & Daughter Tongue (Jana)
On On: No.24, Home of Mother’s Tongue.
The Run:
Down the hill we went, while others suspected a T Check at the bottom. Stiff and I had seen the ‘On over,’ sign at Upper Bukit Timah Rd as we arrived, but in our haste to get there we almost tripped each other over avoiding a car.
Onto the old railway line for the 2nd longest T Check in history. Sneaky Comer smelt it and headed back in the opposite direction, along with walkers. The front runners eventually caught up, just in time to hit the 3rd longest T Check in history.
This time it was back up onto an old bridge, with Wet ‘n Wild and Lost Marbles having to temporarily stop their non stop talk and actually run. Trail took us to a scenic lookout in the old quarry for a compulsory Kodak T Check stop. Very nice.
Stiff and I were sure we would head onto the bike track. Wrong. Back onto the bitumen and into Rail Mall for a little loop. It was here that we found the final Check of the run. In fact from here on, Checks were as scarce as rocking horse shit.
It was up onto the old railway bridge for the start of a long, long section that circumnavigated the Park to home via Hume Ave, Hillview, Bukit Batok East Ave 1, and Old Jurong Rd.
Too Easy led the way but found the going far from easy, deciding to implement interval training by alternating running with walking. The walking intervals became more frequent and longer. The Pack was spread out for a kilometer as runners dodged in and out locals on their evening fitness strolls. The scenery was very pleasant on the eye, the nature views weren’t bad either.
Pushing Boo aside, we finally entered the Park for a more than welcome Vodka – Cranberry drink stop at the quarry.
Good work Hares, 8.3km (for those that did the long T Checks) in 55 mins for front runners, with the rest of the Pack still staggering in 20 minutes later.
The Circle: The GM is wearing Croc F#*k Me Shoes tonight.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Checks too short, too many checks in the 2nd half of the run. Great drink stop, great run.
Tell us about your On On: No 24 Lorong Sesuai, Chilli Con Carne, Green Grilled Sausage, salad. Free. Great run!
Next week’s run: Vigilante Drive, Herr Zipp, and Pubic Zipp.
Lipstick: Hooray, Stiff, Eat My Penis, Cock Radio, DOD, and the cyclists – Stiffy and Fat Crashing Bastard. Stiffy spat. Does he not know by now that the pink cups in the middle of the down down tray are water??
Visitors / Returnees: Eat My Penis, Dick On Demand, Stiff
Virgins: Nope
New Member: nope.
Tits: Dick On Demand awards the Tits to Fat Crashing Bastard, so that when he wears them on his bike and is leaning forward we can get a glimpse of his cleavage. Which reminds me, where is Twin Towers?
Dick: Stiffy was riding up the hill on Lorong Sesuai to get to the run. Concentrating hard, he was disturbed by the distinctive sound of a BMW engine humming menacingly very close behind him as he maneuvered his way up the steep rise. Despite not being able to turn around to see who was tailgating him all the way up, he has no hesitation giving the Dick to Forced Entry, who just happens to have a convertible sports BMW.
Stiffy continues. 2 weeks ago he told about the students at school with their plastic banana protectors, so this week he produces one. He then awards it to Cock Radio, claiming it may help keep his shorts up.
Awards –nope.
AOB:
- Sneaky Comer realizes this is a ladies Hash, but ladies, please keep it men friendly. When Sneaky asked Lost Marbles for her keys, she said they are the ones with the Tiffany key ring. What the f#*k is a Tiffany?
- Wet ‘n Wild gets in EMP and DOD – it seems they only came to get a lippy kiss from the GM.
- The GM then announces a recruitment drive –bring along guests everyone.
- Mother Tongue charges the Hash Brew for derelict of duty- Too Easy, where are you? Bring out the down downs.
- Slowcum blames Fat Crashing Bastard for singing the down down song too early, catching the Hash Brew unawares
- Sneaky Comer does not wait for the GM and enters the Circle. We know that the ladies are directionally challenged at times on the run, but it was a worry when DOD and EMP, 2 fine members of the US Navy, had no idea which way to go, despite the obvious signs. How does the 1st Fleet ever find its way back to Port?
- The GM fills in CR with one of her social venues that I failed to mention in last week’s report – Harrys.
- Wet Pet likes the fashion show on parade tonight, bringing in Stiffy and his colorful orange riding top.
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Herr Zipp gave a charge, but in my notes all it says is Herr Zipp. Either my pen ran out or the vodka cranberry took its toll.
On that note, On On to the On.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
On On Report – 24 Lorong Sesuai. Over 20 in attendance, great food dished up in the back patio overlooking the lawn. Free beer and some wine too. Only thing lacking was a pool.
Seamus & Bessie…
An Irish farmer named Seamus had an accident with a lorry ,and was sueing the lorry company,
In court their hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus..
Solicitor
‘Now didn’t you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?’ .
Seamus
‘Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the…’
Solicitor
‘I didn’t ask for any details’,'Just answer the question. Did you not tell the police officer, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’?’
Seamus
‘Well, I had just got Bessie into the sidecar and I was driving down the road….’
The solicitor interrupted again and said,
‘Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.’
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus’s answer and said to the solicitor:
‘I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie’.
Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded.
‘Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the sidecar and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit me right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt very bad like, and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the policeman came charging across the road, gun still in hand, looked me up and down, and said,
‘How badly are you hurt?’
‘Now what the hell would you have said’?