Lorong Sesuai
Hare: Comes Quietly
On On: Red Lantern
Since I had not written a report for the Harriets in a loooong time, I referred to the last one written by Cock Radio to use as a template. Big mistake.
It was a combined run/circle/on-on report – so who knew? OK so maybe not so bad – I did manage to complete the nasty shiggy downhill, stayed awake through most of the circle, and remember a bit of the on-on – Red Lantern as I recall. So here goes:
The Run:
We started out from the car park near the top of Lorong Sesuai, the hare pointed us up from there past the microwave towers. There apparently was a check, and a couple of harriets (Wet Pet & Give Way) thought they’d take the stairs down – oops wrong way. Back up the hill and into the shiggy – down we went – seemed like virgin territory to me, but we heard that this section was part of a recent Monday hash. After bashing our way downhill, our merry little party: Not Good Enough, Give Way, Pubic Zipp and I finally emerged after 35 minutes onto Hillview Avenue. From there we short-cut back to Bukit Batok Nature Park and up the path to the car park. Seems we may have missed a bit of the trail.
The Circle:
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Comes Quietly is given the verdict: Good run!
Tell us about your On On: The World Famous Red Lantern.
Next week’s run: Blackmore Drive, by Lost Marbles & Sticky Ring.
Visitors / Returnees: Vatic*nt, Marina, Eric, DOD, Just Jane, EMP, Chris and Dead Fish. Returnee King Leer.
Virgins: Tyler – the GM demanded that the virgin either tell a joke or sing a song. We were all hoping for a sizzling rendition of Gangnam Style, but instead got the karaoke version of “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’” – a song that has lost a lot of it’s original message since the introduction of Viagra.
New Member: nope.
Tits: The Tits were called for – but are still in Malaysia.
Dick: Stiffy notes that there are Facebook posters who think people are interested in the details of their travel itineraries, and go so far as to give updates from the business lounge complaining about there being no coffee in Doha. Fat Crashing Bastard is given the Dick – because wearing it will bring him more attention than complaining about the coffee.
While the GM fusses about trying to locate the lipstick, Wet Pet steps forward with a charge for Vatic*nt. She recalls that the first time he brought his daughter, Marina, to a Harriets run he was typically fatherly and expressed great concerned about her, however tonight when asked where his daughter was he replied, “Oh she’s off with some man..” He’s to parental neglect.
Not Tonight calls Stiffy in for a counter charge to his “Dick charge.” She sarcastically notes that if Stiffy were to post his itinerary on Facebook it would read: Day 1: Greenleaf to Dover, Dover to Greenleaf; Day 2: Greenleaf to Dover, Dover to Greenleaf; Day 3: Greenleaf to Dover, Dover to Tampines!!! Not exactly exciting reading.
Lipstick: The GM finally locates the lipstick, and proceeds to cook up some false charges against the following perpetrators: Chris for being in front of Marina, Tyler for being the virgin boy, and DOD and EMP just for being sailors.
Awards – nope.
AOB:
- Hooray: wants to call Tiger Lily in as a returnee.
- EMP: brings in Chris and Marina to be publically pissed on for creeping up the hill until rounding the crest then sprinting home.
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EMP: charges Marina again, this time for strange behavior at a circle check. She came upon the circle of toilet paper and when she had to break it she used a long stick as if the paper was used toilet paper. This somehow lead to a NAMING:
- Bog Princess?
- Precious 3-ply?
- Snake Charmer?
Vote came in: Snake Charmer is the hash name that the former Marina will now be known as.
- Bog Princess?
- Not Tonight: King Leer had told her that he wasn’t feeling himself tonight (who was he feeling?) and so looked for an old hasher to walk with. So Not Tonight and King Leer were having a nice walk until he sees Comes Quietly at the beer truck, then sprints to the finish. Yet another fast finisher…
- It’s now 8:24… a taxi arrives… out steps the missing Bugle Boy. Must have been off paper…He’s immediately brought into the circle for a down-down, but offers no explanation for his tardiness…
- Wet Pet: charges EMP for hashing interruptus. As she was going up the hill he caused her to break stride to respond to his offer of a lift up the hill – what bad timing!
- Kan Not Kan: calls in Tiger Lily and asks her what were the colors she wore on tonight’s run: red top and black shorts. KNK than brings in Dead Fish who had mistaken a rather tall Singaporean in red and black for Tiger Lily. Here’s to the look alike.
- Grand Mattress: DOD is leaving Singapore on Friday morning – so he gets a resounding “Fuck-Off.”
- EMP: tells us he has the proper reward for Bugle Boy – the banana protector – so he can put taxi fare inside in case he gets lost on the trail again.
- Kan Not Kan: brings Bugle Boy back in for more abuse – this time it’s for not listening to KNK and Dead Fish’s directions to “look for paper on the right” – so what happened? – A: the secret will never be told…
- King Leer: has EMP demonstrate how to skip a rope.
- Herr Zipp: brings in the newly named Snake Charmer. Tonight was a night for new names – at the beginning of tonight’s run Snake Charmer was heard to call out (to her dad, Vatic*nt) “Andrew, are you coming?” Andrew??!! – here’s to the new names.
- EMP: noted Comes First’s loopy behavior tonight – she was running in circles at the circle check.
- KNK: suggests that Bugle Boy needs to join the “Tiger Lily Club” for those who don’t pay attention to the trail marking and end up so far off trail that they have to come back via taxi.
On that note, On On to the On On.
Scribed by Herr Zipp