Sengkang Riverside Park
Hares: Kan The Kobra & Kannot Kan
On On: Koufus
The Run:
Well it’s great to be back. Pre Run events were easier to write about than the actual run, for reasons you will see later.
Immediately on my arriving at the run site, Shut the F#*k calls out ‘I haven’t seen Cock for months.’ Not sure if that was her greeting to me or a lament about the state of her marriage. Comments were then made about the color of a car parked next to the beer wagon. It was a sort of lilac color, according to Comes Quietly, but was best described by EMP as ‘Purple laffy taffy.’ Zipp said she would not even buy nail polish that color.
Next Croc Hunter and Stiffy were seen sitting on the path back to back, bookend style. I think Stiffy was stretching his quads and Croc Hunter saw the opportunity to scratch his back against Stiffy’s. Sort of like a cow against a tree.
Then the Hare turned up looking remarkably fresh in a lovely purple dress (not laffy taffy purple) with green, orange and white print and matching green shell sandals. How did she set the run dressed like that?
Stiff tells us in detail of his stomach woes and warns to keep a safe distance behind him.
And Boo turned up.
Now for the Run. The first 10 minutes kept everyone together, sort of, as we made our way parallel to the TPE. Girl screams were heard from Shut The F#*k up who encountered a rat in her path. Or was it Manuel’s Siberian Hamster?
And this was where things turned pear shaped. The trail just completely disappeared – in fact markings became as scarce as rocking horse shit. It turns out that in all his wisdom, Kannot Kan had set this part of the run yesterday, and someone picked up his paper T Check he had carefully laid.
Runners soon became scattered all over Sengkang looking for trail but to no avail. But we had fun looking and enjoyed taking the trails that we thought we might have been going on. Wee Willy, myself, Boo, Boxer and others headed towards Jalan Kayu. Stiff did laps of the toilet block. I have no idea where everyone else ended up.
But 3 runners came across the Hare, who directed them to the real trail which took them under the TPE for a lengthy jaunt around the rivers. Well done Shut the F#*k Up, Sarah the Swede and EMP who get their Girl Guide Certificates for completing the Run.
But how did Sarah the Swede come back looking so squeaky clean?? She was last seen covered in mud all the way up to her Swede little bippies as a result of becoming firmly stuck in a shiggy mud patch and falling in slow motion onto her back, leaving her shoes entrenched at the bottom. Shiggy Swede. So she took advantage of one of the rivers the other side of the TPE and had a swim. Swimming Swede.
On the other hand, Shut the F#*k up was complaining about what horrible nasties may have snuck into her nooks and crannies in some of the horrible ‘water’ she went through.
Well done Hares, good run even if most of us were not on trail. No complaints from anyone, it’s Wednesday and this is the Harriets. And best of all, no Hooray!
The Circle: Two Jugs gets things on the way and quickly gains respectful authority from the good sized group of misfits.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? ‘What run?’ Muddy, shitty, good fun. Sarah the Swede complained it was a lonely run. So lonesome Single Swede.
Tell us about your On On: Koufu for very good seafood at a heavily Hare discounted price of $12.
Next week’s run: Tagore Drive for the National Day Run, Boo and crew.
Lipstick: EMP, Stiff, CR, Boo and a few others received the Mustafa $2 lipstick. Harriets spare no expense.
Guests: EMP, Malfunktion, Golden Shower, Shut the F#*k Up, Sarah the Swede, Foreplay, Ayam Kampong, Stiff.
Virgins: Nope, although EMP tried as a look alike.
New Member: Nope.
Tits: missing, with Goes Down Easy
Dick: missing, with Gypsy.
Awards – nope.
AOB:
- Malfunktion noticed a tiny little patch of water on the ground where Cock Radio had showered. How can someone this size shower with only 750mls of water? Because there was Tiger Lily the other side of the Beer Wagon with enough bottles of water lined up to wash a whale with.
- Not Tonight introduces the Senior Minister Emeritus to the Circle, Father Anus, who has just arrived in his dapper work clothes.
- The Senior Minister says it is refreshing to see a new GM, even just a fill in GM. But she only has her trainer F#*k Me Shoes on.
- Not Tonight brings in Sarah the Swede, who still has not changed out of her running clothes. Stinky Swede. For efforts in bathing in the bog, several Hash names were put forward but no agreement. Not Tonight. Still Sarah (Smelly) Swede.
- Wet Brazilian retells the moment of Sarah Swede becoming entrenched in the bog and losing her shoes. Who came to the rescue? Stiff. What a man. What a mud wrestler.
- Ayam Kampong tries Mud Wrestler as a name for Sarah Swede. Nope, it didn’t stick like it should have.
- Malfunktion remembers one time he fell forward in a bog patch. As he lay there prone in the mud, Sybil saw the opportunity to use him as a stepping stone to safely get across the other side.
- Tiger Lily, being an Educator, keeps up her professional reading. While browsing through a PE Journal, she came across an article about Premature Ejaculation. Father Anus and Cock Radio raced into the Circle to see who comes first.
- Shut the Fuck Up calls in the Hares to show them the state of her legs – cut to pieces thanks to their trail. There goes her modeling career.
- Cock Radio calls in Shut the F#*k up and suggests that with legs like that, no wonder she has not seen cock in months.
- Stiffy wanted a South African or Kiwi in, we had none and I can’t remember the look alike. But New Zealand has refused a South African his visa renewal because he is too fat. Who ate all the pies?
- Cock Radio then claimed the South African refused a ticket to leave NZ on Air New Zealand- yep, because he was too fat.
- EMP said the trail was really tough and the jungle creatures ferocious. He saw a bike that had been stripped clean by monkeys. They breed them tough in Sengkang.
- Kannot Kan calls in Father Anus and Malfunktion as 2 old uncles that should be searching that jungle for stuff they can take for recycling.
- Our stand in GM, Two Jugs, was rather nervous tonight. She was a virgin GM. And if that wasn’t bad enough, she had the ex GM giving her reminders about what time it was and when it was time to start, make sure you get the guest list, don’t forget the lipstick, remember next week’s Hares and so on. On in Wet Brazilian, you bossy ex GM. Where do ex GM’s get recycled?
On that note, On On to the On.
Scribed by Cock Radio. Great to be back!
Children Writing About the Ocean….
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
2) Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)
6) My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
8) Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
9) I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)
13) On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
14) The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6)
15) My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)