National Day Run.
Tagore Drive
Hares: Boo & Quickie, assisted by Zipp & Gypsy & Father Anus for recce
On On: On site, The Boxer
The Run:
National Day and a Boo & Quickie Run, followed by The Boxer food. We were really excited before the run; in fact Tiger Lily was so excited she had to have a pee. Only thing was, she did it on the Out Trail.
As the men passed over the Tiger Pee, they lifted their legs and added their markings to the spot. Around to the SLE side of the jungle, and we were looking for paper leading into the durian trails. But no, it was through the tunnel under the SLE. The Shiggy in the tunnel felt pretty bad; luckily it was too dark to see it. A sharp turn at the end of the tunnel led runners to dry land up by the SLE. If you took one step straight ahead after the tunnel, you ended up in deep water, as one unfortunate female found out.
Along the edge of the SLE towards Lentor Ave, where a Circle had been placed strategically on the other side of a waterway. EMP, Wee Willy and myself took the plunge and checked things out while the rest of the Pack stayed dry. Trail was found on the other side of Lentor Ave. I immediately realized the only way we can get back over Lentor was to run all the way along the edge of the MRT to the Springleaf canal and go under. Far canal, I thought to myself.
Back under Lentor Ave, it was time to hit the Springleaf jungle trails. Wrong. We took the sunny path along the edge of canal. By this stage the Pack was spread for kilometers. Into the grass border behind the Springleaf Estate, this offered opportunities for a jungle trail diversion. Nope. We stayed on the grass border all the way around the Estate. Finally a Circle in the field off Springleaf Ave. Tiger Lily took off, followed by Buttwiper. I was not sure if Tiger was just going for another Pee, as no one had called anything. By this stage, there was no one else in sight and the Circle was miles back. I was hoping EMP would see us, break the Circle and call the Pack. Alas it did not happen. Whoopsy.
Finally, jungle. For 50 meteres anyway, then out onto Upper Thompson. A tricky little exit into jungle via a small canal that required negotiating from side to side. Unfortunately Wet ‘n Wild failed to negotiate and took a tumble. A nice trail back home was marred by Heartbreak Hill. After 7kms of running, it confronted us menacingly. Pacemakers and heart rate monitors exploded as soon as runners looked at the hill. I watched Tiger Lily run it, followed by Buttwiper who stopped to walk ¾ of the way up. I did the same. EMP was forced to do the same, even though he had turned his heart rate monitor off when it went ballistic. I dread to think how others coped.
Tiger Lily missed the turn off down the embankment back to Tagore Drive, resulting in Buttwiper and myself ending up as Lipstick candidates. Blonde Japanese.
The Circle: Jack Off, after calling out for Jackie and being told that she is Jackie, gets the Circle going, as we watch a massive Hungry Ghosts fire burning down the road.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Boo pleads innocence, his hands were tied by Quickie, (Little did we think Quickie was into Bondage) who demanded ‘No Jungle Boo.’
So, too much jungle, not enough running. Far Canal! Good run, thanks Boo & Quickie. Thanks for the Shirts.
Tell us about your On On: The Boxer food, pumpkin soup, lasagna, salad, hash browns and ice cream. $12.
Next week’s run: Lower Pierce Reservoir, Goes Down Easy & F#*kin’ Easy.
Lipstick: CR and Buttwiper, because Tiger Lily missed the Home trail, Posh Duck, In and Out, F#*ks Easy and even the Hare, Boo. Possibly one or two others.
Guests: The Hash Cash has an orgasm, so many. EMP, Buttwiper & Dragon Breath,, Penile Extension, Fetos, Cam Lam Suo, Foreplay, Trash, Just Jane, Golden Shower, Dimples, PW Bitch, In and Out, Trevor.
Virgins: Nope, although Boo claimed to be a Virgin Hare. Virgin on the ridiculous I think.
New Member: Nope.
Tits: Goes Down Easy has them but sort of refused to flaunt them. I can’t remember what happened here, and in the confusion I did not write anything. I remember someone commented that Goes Down Easy doesn’t need them. [Ed: I think they went to Wet Brazilian as cushioning but can't be sure of the reasons].
Dick: Gypsy claims he could have given it to Mother Tongue, who asked him if she could borrow a comb. But there is a better candidate, Boo, who gave him a perfect charge served on a silver platter.
Boo was out doing a recee (he could have stayed home and used the street directory) on Sunday and came across fresh paper on his trail. Cursing and swearing at another Hash butting in on his run, he pondered which Hash it could be? So as he walked along picking up the paper, he thought: Tuesday, no. Monday no. Sunday is next week. Friday no, Thursday no. His thoughts were interrupted by a group of kids coming towards him looking decidedly lost. ‘Hey mister, have you seen any toilet paper lying around?’
Yep, it was the Kid’s Hash. Shoving the paper up his shirt, Boo then directed them the right way. Well done Boo, party pooper.
Awards – nope.
AOB:
- Stiffy reminds us that as we get older we forget things. During the week, Jack Off asked Stiffy where this week’s run was. Ah Jack Off, you should not forget Singapore’s Birthday, you forgetful Singaporean you.
- Buttwiper is confused, which is what happens when you spend too much time running behind Tiger Lily. He gets EMP with his National Day shirt to lie on his back, then Just Jane to lie the opposite way next to him. The number on EMP’s shirt says 9 (depending which side of the Circle you were on) while Just Jane’s says 6 (again depending on perspective) Either way, we have a 69er shirt.
- Cock Radio reckons there was a lot of running tonight, but for our ultra marathon guru, Sybil, to finish and say ‘Boo, there was a lot of running tonight,’ just shows what a challenge it was.
- Stiffy gets CR back in to the Circle and asks why I have a towel wrapped around me. Because I forgot my shorts. Well, Stiffy says that as well as being unfashionable, people on the other side of the Circle to where I am sitting scribing are throwing up at the sight. Well, Stiffy and our Haberdash, Deb, produce a pair of Thai style wrap around shorts for me that became the envy of everyone. I wasn’t too keen on Stiffy dressing me in them and tying up the cord, but yeah, they are pretty cool shorts. Place your orders with Deb guys.
- EMP heard Just Jane’s comment when Boo said before the run that there are just 2 hills. ‘Hope they are both downhill,’ said the blonde.
- In and Out heard on the BBC that workers found a 15 tonne lump of congealed fat in an English sewer pipe. (This is what happens when you eat all the pies) Appropriately Buttwiper is brought in and flushed for this shitty charge.
- Penile Extension spoke of the good runners, Tiger Lily, Just Jane, Sybil etc. H e arrived late and so ran out the opposite way on the Home trail. So who was the first runner he came across? No, not Tiger Lily. He only got 100 meters and there was Stiffy.
On that note, On On to the On.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
Work or pleasure???
An RAAF Group Captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff ….
Whilst waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Group Captain decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.
He posed the question of just how much of sex was “work” and how much of it was “pleasure”
- A Wing Commander chimed in with 75-25% in favour of work.
- A Squadron Leader said it was 50-50%.
- A Flight Lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favour of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the Group Captain turned to the young Corporal who was in charge of making the coffee. What the Group Captain wondered was his opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young Corporal responded, “Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.”
The Group Captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked “And, why exactly would that be the case?”
The young Corporal replied, “Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.”
The room fell silent.
May God Bless the lower ranks.