The Deepavali Run
Little India – Racecourse Rd
Hares: Sybil & Dances With Kerbs
On On: On Site Mexican Indian
Warning for Hares: It is that time of the year when it starts getting dark before 7. Please refrain from sending runners into jungle in the second half of the Run. Use jungle in the first half.
The Run:
I wish you a thousand apologies if there are to be any mistakes in this report, I begging your pardon muchly.
The Run started with Croc Hunter sweeping the entire locality clean of broken glass with his Harriet’s pink broom and shovel.
A photo was taken of the rear end of Wet ‘n Wild as she led the way early on in the run. The photo will be framed, autographed and placed in the Harriet’s Hall of Fame. (It was a wide angled shot).
Sneaky Checks, no relation to Sneaky Comer, kept the Pack as loose as a tourist with Delhi Belly. Speaking of Sneaky, still wounded by his sojourn into a drain looking for his lost notebook last week. I found him a vacant wheelchair along a back lane. Unfortunately the 95 year old Aunty, assisted by her maid, beat him to it.
Meanwhile, the walkers and crocs, led by Slowcum, stayed all the way straight along Racecourse Rd. Slowcum, doing lots of bike riding lately, complained of suffering from acupuncture. What sort of puncture is that?
A sign outside the Chinese Recreation Club had an English translation – ‘No Transpassing.’ In search of trail, I passed by it anyway.
I should have heeded the sign, as I was the only one on Ballister Rd. No trail. It was on back. ‘No Transpassing,’ as the sign clearly said. Luckily I ran head onto walkers at the end of Racecourse Rd. Zipp whispered Beatty Rd and Jalan Besar.
A big crowd queuing outside Jalan Basar Stadium, were they there to watch the Harriets run past?
Goes Down Easy, Comes First and Two Jugs urged the Pack on. The thought of a cold beer at the end was enough to urge me on. I avoided the cemetery section. I was never a fan of that British Comedy – ‘One Foot in the Grave.’
Sneaky Comer stopped to pray at the little Temple before entering Desker Rd. It’s dangerous in there.
Did I hear ‘Mr Brendan, Mr. Brendan…’ from the Thai Massage Parlour as we ran past? As a good friend, Comes Quietly veered into ‘ Happy Massage.’ He was 20 minutes late back.
Across Serangoon Rd, admiring the Deepavali light decorations. Boo ignored the pedestrian crossing and nearly ended up as a Buddhist good luck charm on the front fender of a Taxi.
Back in an hour, a very, very very goodness gracious me run.
The Circle: Jack Off assembled us out of the car park and onto the grass.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Too many Indians. Not enough lights. More curry. Good Run.
Tell us about your On On: On site Chicken Bryani and veggie option.
Next week’s run: Halloween Run, Dempsey.
Guests: Caroline, Dead Fish, No Good, Foetus, Golden Raindrop, Ayam Kampong. In and Out Returnee.
Lipstick: Cock Radio, Comes Quietly, Golden Shower, Boo, Hooray.
Tits: Stiffy had a charge handed to him on a plate. In a conversation with Wet Brazilian, she admitted she is very good when she comes.
Dick: The closest thing to the Dick was the top of my Indian hat which had a little erection on it.
Awards – Nope.
AOB:
- Wet ‘n Wild, who is known to be a pretty good talker herself, is fed up with Stiffy. She claims he chats more than a woman does. And that is coming from an expert.
- Golden Shower charged the Velcro Twins with bringing back an Irish Leprechaun as a souvenir. Looks very much like Father Anus.
- Banana Protector: Stiffy, with a bright yellow banana protruding out the top of his shorts, was accused of not reading the newsletter. Did you read the run report 2 weeks ago? ‘Yes’ was the confident reply. Well there wasn’t one, Sneaky Comer lost the notes. Stiffy defends himself –he had read all about the memos and messages about lost notes and he even knew to wear a Sari tonight. Case dismissed. I can’t remember who got the banana, but I hope they apply lots of disinfectant to it. [Ed: Wet 'n Wild got it].
- Not Tonight, Health Care and a barge in Ireland. I can’t read my notes for the connection. Use your imagination. Something to do with the Velcro Twins I guess.
- Jack Off was expecting 100 people for the 40th Anniversary Celebration, but only 55 tickets sold. Why? Maybe the web site advertising the event for the 26th of NOVEMBER had something to do with it? On in web master, on sec. Guess there will 45 people turning up next month for the 40th + 1 month Anniversary Celebration. Just proves – don’t believe everything you read on the net.
- Kan Not Kan sets up a longest hair competition between The Boxer, Goes Down Easy and Kamala. After clarifications regarding actual length or hair length / body height ratio, The Boxer wins hairs down.
- Goes Down Easy goes for a Hash naming on Trevor. Is he perfect? Nope, he has no Hash clothes. Imperfect member? From memory, despite Boo trying to hijack the naming, I think Trevor is forever now known as Imperfect Member.
- Sybil charge. Members top their drinks and sit down. Directly from my notes, I quote: ‘Don’t call me.’ ‘Sorry sir.’ ‘Ahhhh.’ Lifting off shirt takes place. More ‘Ahhhhh.’ ‘F#*king shut up.’ ‘Like the ….’(Cannot decipher notes – scribe). ‘F#*king listen to me,’ More revealing of stomach with shirt lift. Charge ended with Father Anus getting a hug. I think he then became choked with emotion. Or was it Kamala’s tongue down his throat…
- Ayam Kampong gets the Singapore sharing spirit going. The chook lady hijacked my regal Indian hat and placed it on Father Anus to declare him Sultan of Swing.
- Kan Not Kan came in to finish with a very funny and appropriate song. Something about Convent gals doing something with ping pong balls. As this is a family read, I leave it at that.
On that note, On On to the On On.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
Hotel 81.
Daffy duck on a dirty weekend calls reception and asks for a condom. The reception says, shall I put them on your bill?
Daffy replies…..
Don’t be thucking thupid, I’d thufficate.