The Comes First Cock Run
Sembawang Rd (opposite Sembawang Shopping Centre)
Hares: Comes First & Cock Radio
On On: Coffee Shop next door
The Run:
Dodging lightning bolts while setting the last part of the run, the Hares abandoned ship and took cover under the MRT track. The run could be short.
A Pack of about 30 hardy (foolish?) runners assembled under a damp sky lit up by lightning bolts. Not even Quickie was game to put up her umbrella. The Hares had to be coaxed out from underneath the beer truck where they had been cowering from the storm. Goes Down Easy brought her parents along, as if they hadn’t been shocked enough by their ‘innocent’ daughter, now she is giving them an electrifying experience.
Into the jungle at the back of the housing for a nice little trail through to Gambas Ave. Tiger Lily blindly led the way. Eventually across Sembawang Rd. and Boo headed along the grass clearing between the houses and jungle – ‘Aw come on, we always go this way,’ he was heard to say. Sorry Boo, not tonight, it was along the canal. ‘Far canal’ muttered Boo.
Sooky sooky la la runners, led by Comes Quietly, managed to get to the canal trail by backtracking a little bit to avoid crossing a rather ugly bit of shiggy. You whoozes.
A soggy trail along the canal to the MRT line. Even Stiff got his feet wet. As one of the taller runners, he also had a flotilla of shorter female runners around him, hoping he would be their lightning rod. Mmm, a Stiff rod, no wonder.
Into a bit of jungle parallel to the MRT line. The paper trail began to become a little haphazard – it was about here that the Hares were zig zagging dodging the directly overhead lightning bolts. Thoughtfully placing paper trail was not a priority.
Runners back in an hour, apart from Quickie and co who were missing. Did they shelter in a Coffee Shop? Boo was heard to say, ‘This is good, my wife is not back yet,’ as he grabbed another beer. I can feel a charge coming on.
The Circle: Wet Brazilian, who got horribly lost driving to the run site and arrived late, decided not to get further lost by running, and devoted all of her energy to running the Circle instead. Dedication for you. (She actually sat in the car drinking wine with Comes First while we all braved the elements out on the run. Fair enough too I reckon)
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? An electric run, shocking. Too many runners bolted. The Norwegian visitors dedicated a song – ‘Shiggy trail, shiggy trail…’
Tell us about your On On: Coffee Shop just there over the canal. Don’t take the little arched bridge with handrails – it’s not there anymore. They were told to remove it – probably by the same authorities that had a go at the Red Lantern for being too enterprising. Bastards. (After watching Gypsy test the wooden plank going across, I recommend we all walk around on the road)
Next week’s run: Return to Mt. Sinai Rise, Wet Brazilian.
Guests: Let me find my list. Oh dear. Think it was struck by lightning. How shocking. Ok, from memory, Goes Down Easy’s parents, Shitty Norwegian guests, Ayam Kampong and others. Good turn up.
Lipstick: This was done totally out of order, Wet Brazilian is losing it? Did she ever have it? Trevor, Imperfect Member, Hooray, Dry Run, Stiff, Raindrop, Stiffy and more.
Tits: Stiff inherited the Tits from Wee Willy, who has been transported to the Colony of New South Wales for the Term of his Unnatural Life. Anyway, for getting lost multiple times on the way to the run and then refusing further losture (why is that not a word?) on the run by sheltering in Comes First’s car, Wet Brazilian gets the Tits. Why don’t we have a pussy award?
Dick: F#*kin’ Easy told how Posh Duck smelt Durian on the run – what could be better than ripe durian you may well ask yourself. Try smelling Comes Quietly when he gets out of the shower. He wins nose up.
Banana Protector: Is that a banana protector hanging out of Stiffy’s shorts or is he just pleased to see us? Good grief, I really hope it is the former. Anyway, he asks an expert, Wet Brazilian, who has 4 males in her family, what is the average penis size. She tried us with 12 inches, but we knew she was dreamin. 6 inches she tried again. Wrong said Stiffy, 5 inches. Was he talking from personally experience? No, internet of course. Wet Brazilian then complained about being short changed..
Awards – Nope.
AOB:
- At this stage, Sweet Thighs and Ayam Kampong put on a comedy skit. Deciding to raise an umbrella in this thunderstorm was funny enough. But somehow they turned it inside out so it resembled a satellite dish. Were they trying to get a weather forecast update?
- ‘Dry Run’ from Oslo was a little damp, mentioned something about Goody New Shoes.
- While our Norwegian guests were in, they were repaid with a little song that basically went ‘Shitty guests, shitty guests……
- Stiff was concerned about all the lightning and asked Boo why he was back before Quickie and where was she? ‘I am a responsible grandfather and not young anymore, so I sent my wife out.’ Don’t follow Boo’s wife.
- A Sybil jig saw charge – you try and piece it together: Lost. Fine. Goes Down Easy’s parents sightseeing. Chong Pang. No camera. Hold Boos’ umbrella. Raindrops. Gypsy – miss your wife? Husbands charged.
- Cock Radio, having changed his shorts 3 times already tonight, pays out on his Co Hare. As they stood in an open field with lightning bolts scorching the ground all around them, Comes First went into some sort of meditation pose, chanting ‘Hummmm,’ and declared ‘Can’t you feel the energy is releasing, the storm has passed.’ At that moment there was an almighty flash and crack overhead. Cock Radio released his remaining energy, as well as bowels, by sprinting for shelter under the MRT line, closely followed by Comes ‘Second’ in this instant. Hummmm, oh my Buddha.
- Goody New Shoes told how the Finnish people are impatient. I think she told us to drink our down down faster.
- The ‘Lost Ones,’ Quickie, Sybil, Dances With Kerbs, Zipp, Mrs. Raindrops were given an electric charge for getting back 30 minutes after the Pack. Which Sembawang Coffee Shop gals?
- With the above Ladies still ‘lost’ out on ‘trail,’ someone suggested it was not a problem, as Zipp was with them and she has good compass sense. This was confirmed by asking Gypsy ‘Zipp will be able to get them back ok, correct?’ Gypsy replied ‘ No f#*king way.’ I feel another charge coming on or a belt across the ear.
- Zipp confesses that she recently got lost with Wet ‘n Wild on the Kampong Run. And Zipp was the Hare. Honesty for you.
- Zipp and Wet ‘n Wild do a duo. ‘Where’s next week’s run?’ ‘ Oh, somewhere in the West.’ ‘Somewhere in the wet?’ Yeah, ok, it is a Wet Brazilian Run.
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Raindrops charged Gypsy for being clueless. Describing to everyone where he got lost, Gypsy pointed in the direction of JB. No wonder he got lost, he didn’t bring his passport.
On on to the On On. (Next door to car park, great location and food, happy to have us. 24 starters. Great night thanks all)
Scribed by Cock Radio
Almost good lawyer jokes:
Bugle Boy went to his almost good lawyer, Foo, and told him, “My neighbour owes me $500 and he doesn’t want to pay up. What should I do?”
“Do you have any proof?”, asked almost good lawyer, Foo. “Nope,” replied Bugle Boy.
“Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1,000 he owes you,” said almost good lawyer, Foo.
“But it’s only $500!” replied Bugle Boy.
“Precisely, that’s what he will reply and we will have the proof we need,” said almost good lawyer, Foo.
A dog ran into Posh Duck’s backyard and grabbed a rump steak off his BBQ. Fortunately, Posh Duck recognised the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his who happened to be an almost good lawyer, Foo.
Incensed at the theft, Posh Duck called up his almost good lawyer neighbour, Foo and said, “Hey, if your dog stole a rump steak from my BBQ, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?”
The almost good lawyer neighbour, Foo replied, “Of course, how much was the steak.”
“15.50.”
A few days later, Posh Duck received a cheque in the mail for $15.50.
Attached to it was an invoice that read : ‘Legal Consultation Service, Almost Good Lawyers, Foo, Foo and Foo, $750.