The Stiffy Birthday Run
Pepys Rd
Hares: Stiffy, Not Tonight and Stiffy’s road bike.
On On: Kitchen 99 South Buona Vista Rd.
The Run:
What actually constitutes a good run?
A run where Hooray gets lost. Well that didn’t happen. Unfortunately.
A run with nice jungle trails. That didn’t eventuate either.
A run without dangerous creatures. No ticks here either, I had to jump over a snake slithering across the footpath.
A run without too much pavement. Another cross, it was all on pavement as the Hare had set it on his road bike.
A run where no one whinges. Another fail, the Hare was Stiffy.
A run that is well marked. No go here either. The run was set with 1 piece of chalk, with arrows 2kms apart.
A run site where we can’t get into trouble with the authorities. Nope. Coo Chi Coo turned up and demanded to know what we were doing in his front yard.
So what did this run have going for it?
As Jack Off famously said one week, ‘Even if it isn’t good, it is still a good run.’ There was some nice scenery, even if we did skirt around it. No one got lost. Or bitten by the snake. Boo wasn’t there. The rain held off. We all came back knowing we had done a run. The Beer Wagon was there. And after all, it is Wednesday and it is the Harriets, it’s got to be good.
Well done Stiffy, good run. And Happy Birthday.
The Circle: Jack Off gets the Circle started with the scribe still trying to find a quiet spot with no one to get in his ear. Unfortunately, this turned out to be in a dark corner of the Circle (ok, ok, sector). Dragon Breath and The Boxer came to the rescue, taking it in turns to imitate a lighthouse by holding a lantern over the scribe.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? Good run of course.
Tell us about your On On: Kitchen 99, $12. 8 courses.
Next week’s run: Vigilante Drive, Bagless Too.
Guests: Welsh Git, Butt Wiper, Dragon Breath, Mata Hari, Assma, Bagless Too, Carilyn, Coo Chi Coo, Penile Extension, No Good.
Returnees: Ayam Kampong.
Virgins; Theresa, Pepe (John)
Lipstick: Hooray, Buttwiper, Virgin lad, Imperfect Member, Welsh Git.
Tits: Wet Brazilian has them.
Dick: Wet Brazilian has it.
Banana Protector: Wet Brazilian again.
Awards –Nope.
AOB:
- Jack Off asked Not Tonight if she loves the Harriets. Not Tonight gives a detailed description of just how much she really does love the Harriets. Jack Off then asked why she was wearing her shirt inside out. Off Off Off.
- Too Easy is missing a pink cup. What size?
- Wet Pet charged Tiger Lily for not picking up a visitor.
- Sneaky Comer told Stiffy to use his mountain bike instead of his road bike to set the run next time, then maybe we could run on some shiggy.
- Jack Off got in Stiffy and Not Tonight for still talking to each other (during the Circle too) despite being married for so long.
- Hooray heard nothing all night except for Tiger Lily saying how hungry she was. Then why did she go and do the long run?
- Sneaky Comer, as editor of this run report, is sick of the scribe confusing husband and wife team, Goes Down Easy and F#*kin’ Easy. I am just going to put this down as not so f#*king easy.
- Jack Off, using the powers that are infected in her, names a potential member as ‘Dark Bush.’
- CR gets Fat Crashing Bastard out of his wheelchair and asks him to turn to page 2 of his Hash Song Book.
- Tiger Lily has been studying up on sex and has come up with some findings. Stiffy represents the English, who apparently are adventurous with sex (I think that means they are now doing it with the light on), CR represents the Aussies who are into same sex marriage and Wet ‘n Wild represents the Kiwi sheep shaggers.
- Dragon Breath was not happy with Lose Change, Not Tonight et al. for taking her on a walkers trail that absolutely f#*ked her.
- Virgin Gal dobs in Dragon Breath, Not Tonight, Loose Change et al for stopping at Kitchen 99 for drinks under the pretence of making our dinner reservation.
- Penile Extension informs a Singaporean, Dances With Kerbs, a Malay, Kan the Kobra and a Brit, Comes First that slavery ended 200 years ago.
- Kan Not Kan informs Goes Down Easy she does not have to live up to her name. At Friday’s run, she fell onto her bottom, bounced 3 times and ended within centimeters of taking a 2metre drop into a drain.
- Not Tonight spares no expense for the love of her life and presents Stiffy with a cup cake and one candle. Happy Birthday Stiffy. (You have a lovely wife, don’t whinge).
On on to the On On.
Scribed by Cock Radio
VASELINE (KY Jelly) & SEX
A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and
was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her
feet.
“I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the
product?”
She said, “Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.”
“If you don’t mind my asking,” he said, “what do you use it for?”
“We use it for sex,” she said.
The researcher was a little taken aback.
“Usually people lie to me and say they use it on a child’s bicycle
chain or to help with a gate hinge.
But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex.
I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been so frank so far,
can you tell me exactly HOW you use it for sex?”
The woman said, “I don’t mind telling you at all. My husband and I
put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out.”