The “Please Help Us Drink our Leftover Booze” Run
10 Maida Vale.
Hares: Stiffener and Stiff
On On: on site
The Circle:
Start 8.30 because of a good drinks stop. The hares were the Stiff family Robinson, including Leo the Dog. Fiona aka Stiffener announced a lavish on-on of salmon, ham, pasta, parsnips, salad, etc. All free inclusive of GST.
Next week’s run: Recovery run by The Boxer and Forced Entry. Complicated instructions for near Cactus road in Yio Chua Kang, or something. Anyway, see the next run box at the top of the report for accurate instructions.
Returnees: Slippery Bum and Handbag.
Guests: Visitors were more than the members (only 2 of the committee present).
Virgins: None recorded.
Lipstick: Front running naughty boys were given the Red lipstick treatment, including Stiffless, Handbag, Hooray, PE, CP, Turds, and Jai’s husband (SIA pilot) Trevor? Any hash name?
Tits: Emergency tits (tiny–quite common in Asia). Candidates: CP and PE. Should men be kind to women? Tiger lily had run through a T-check as usual, her legs working faster than her brain. PE said leave her in the shiggy, CP said I will rescue her, but he had an ulterior motive—the price was that she should join the dog hash, CP being its GM and avid publicist.
Dick: Not present.
Banana Keeper: …not present.
AOB:
- Stiff summoned the Brazilian Blonde Bombshell (aka Wet Brazilian) and acting/unpaid stand in GM. He used some big words to describe her “sartorial elegance” and her “dexterity” in managing her FM shoes on the soggy lawn, and the tree roots and uneven flags in the driveway—not the usual setting for women in tarty outfits. (She explained this type of exhibitionism is the “tradition”? For the GM’S on Wednesdays).
- Penile Ex gave them both a down down for this intrusion and flagrant soliciting.
- Newly married expert HANDBAG then accused Stifles of admitting that he had lost his virginity only 2 years previously, but Handbag did not seem to know that Mr. and Mrs. Stifles had tied the knot last September.
- Kan Not Kan then tried to impose some fault on the GM for running on a Thursday, but as usual, he was shouted down for lack of homework—plenty of precedents of hashes running on different days because of public holidays, etc.
- Stifles was then given a metaphor for marriage, likened to his running with Leo the Dog on a lead, always going the opposite way round a tree—husband and wife pulling in different directions?
- CP (sigh!) then punished Mrs. Stifles, (Laptop?), for throwing her beer down down over her head—wastage.
- GM BBB then exposed CP of not being type who respects women as he had ordered his wife to bring him a beer.
- 3 BEERS (VISITOR FROM UK) HAD SPOTTED 4 hashers using the lift at the MRT station. Are they Hashers or geriatrics? Who were they? Kan not Kan, Kan the Kobra, Tina Tuna (where was Handbag? Sprinting up the stairs?)
- CP and Stiff as hares, then announced the Lion city run for the following day.
- PE gave them a down down for wasting police (hash) time.
- Handbag, a newly married expert himself, revealed his astonishment that Stiffener had kept his virginity until only 2 years ago. He was then corrected by Stiff and family for this libel, stressing that he had been married to his long term girlfriend since last November, and he was only a virgin to the legal state of marriage.
- KNK then came in to bumble on and on at BBB’s expense-about the change of the Wed. run to Thursday. Plenty precedents to prove him wrong.
- Stifles was then given a preparation for marriage lesson/metaphor. He had run with Leo on a lead, and found that Leo always managed to run the OPPOSITE side round a tree. Is this like Man and wife pulling in different directions?
- CP (he claims to be an introvert!) accused Laptop (Mrs. Stifles) of throwing her beer down down away.
- BBB got CP for not respecting women—ordering his lovely wife to bring him a beer.
- Tiger Lily came in to support this by her version of CP in the shiggy when she had overshot the t-check? Kindness? Or self interest in promoting his obsession with the dog hash? Was he suggesting that TL is a dog?
The free on on lasted until 2 A.M .with lots of tasty food, and a lethal array of liquor and liquors. It was rumbustious farewell to Seletar airbase as a hash location, and some people were hard to evict. A cosy picture of retirement in Chang Mai and a lovely house in UK was painted by the Stiffs, after 23 years of hard graft in Singapore. Good luck, and thanks for all the good times!!
On on
Scribed by King Leer