The “Boxer’s Annual Recovery” Run
Ang Mo Kio Industrial Park 3 Block 6006.
Hares: The Boxer, Forced Entry, consultant Penile Extension.
On On: on site
The Run: The hares were Penile Extension, Boxer & Forced Entry with a drink stop and free on-site on-on. One wonders just how the divisions of responsibility fell to the hares. My guess was that Boxer did all the recces and drink stop, Forced Entry laid the trail and was going to sweep and that Penile Extension handled the cooking. I’m kind of glad that I was wrong. Surpringly, the run headed off across the field behind the car park, rather than straight over Yio Chu Kang Road to the jungle. Some crafty checks in and behind the AMK industrial estate and the Cactus Road area kept everyone together. It was only then that we crossed YCK Rd. and got into the eastern side of YCK jungle – the former site of the YCK kampong that was wiped out back in the 1980′s. Lots of fruit trails, back checks, mud and short cuts between YCK, CTE and SLE eventually led us back to YCK Rd., across the street from the drink stop. I don’t remember much after that but I think we just ran down the road to reach the first back check of the run, then followed backwards arrows until we got home. Great run!
The Circle:
The GM started the circle on time but no one asked me to fill in for Cock Radio so I assumed someone else was doing the scribe but I didn’t see anyone and people started coming up to me and ask me why I wasn’t writing anything down so I started to worry and decided to scribe by myself in case no one else was doing it so that you could get a newsletter and so that no one would yell at me later but, of course, I missed the first part of the circle and there was no way in hell I could remember all 53 guests’ names anyway so I am still cursing the MIA Cock Radio who better hurry back. Amen.: So here is to that first drinker, whoever they may be.
Hares: Boxer, Penile Extension & Forced Entry took the stage to general acclaim. I am sure the drink stop and promised scrumptious free on-on convinced any doubters to cheer loudly for the now “great” run.
Next week’s run: I heard something about Fort Canning but the expected hares did not seem to be around. Please check your newsletter.
Guests: Without exaggeration, there were 89 guests who obviously had heard about the on-on and drink stop. There is no way on this God’s earth that I could remember all of them. As best as I can recall, however, I do remember that the GM, Hash Brew and about six other members were not in the circle at this point so we needed help singing for the down down.
Virgins: American Eric and Julie. A special note that Eric didn’t have a hash shirt and therefore embarrassed the GM, Jack Off. Jack Off insisted that whoever made him cum should be given a down down so into the circle came Slocum. Huh?
Returnees: Comes-in-Turn, King Leer, Stiff, Stiffener. Hey, wait a second… didn’t those last two set last week’s run as members, you ask?? You bet your sweet bippy they did but that was all the way back in last year. They have not been members now for a good 18 hours before the run. Returnees, my arse.
Lipstick: Circle Jerk (calling at the first check), Penile Extension (leading the pack to the first check), Cherry Picker, Boo, HooRay, Eric, Crancky and Scratchy Bawasan all ended up with Rudolph noses for various front-running infractions.
Dicks: After sterilizing the tits with sulfuric acid and Darlie toothpaste, Mata Hari passed the dick to Pokai. It seems that Pokai was calmly and discreetly showering behind a large truck but she failed miserably to note that the driver had returned, started the vehicle and started to reverse out of the parking space. All this left Pokai doing the Full Monty for all hashers to see – at least those who were looking or who heard the shouts of “hey guys, look at the naked chick”. Thanks Pokai, you are welcomed back to the Harriets anytime. The guys have taken up a collection and you subs are paid for the year.
Tits: Comes Quietly originally called in Penile Extension but changed his mind and brought Circle Jerk in instead. CJ found the first check and through tradition out the window. Males who find the Harriets on-trail are wont to shout, with desperation in their voice, “I need a woman!” Instead, CJ at first calls on on, then remembers he is on the Harriets, stops and calmly proclaims “Women, come to me!”
Banana Keeper: …Penile Extension called in King Lear who came really late to the run. It turns out that PE was only awarding the mini-tits which was my saving grace. I forgot what the charge was but since PE was only giving out his newly made up and completely bogus award, I don’t have to mention it here and no one will know the difference. The real Banana Keeper was Stiffy and he passed to Eric for a variety of infractions such as not knowing who the GM was (He’s staying at Jack Off’s house) and running off without keeping an eye on her (like all of the rest of the guys do!)
AOB:
- Slocum called in Stiffy for riding much slower tonight and taking forever to figure out why – there was a snail on Stiffy’s tire the whole run, hence the snail’s pace.
- Wet Brazilian called in Boo and Too Easy because Boo was shortcutting and, if not for Too Easy, would have stepped on and crushed a massive 10cm snake.
- Boo stayed in the circle to call in the hares for not using biodegradable tinsel for laying the trail. Boo laid out the tinsel in the circle that he collected from the run to prove his point.
- Zipp called in Boo for picking up all the tinsel and making her lose the trail.
- Circle Jerk entered the circle over his spilled beer and got a drink for his alcohol abuse. His excuse was that he was wearing the newly acquired tits and he could not see anything close to his feet. He then got his charge in on Dead Fish who, allegedly, finished showering within prison-shower distance of Circle Jerk and Eleven, wrapped a mini towel around part of his privates then put on a g-string for underwear. To make matters worse, he then stopped over for a chat while rearranging his package and wedgie.
- Boxer called in Penile Extension. She spoke to the other side of the circle so I will guess that she said that PE was sent out to buy gloves and came home with a bunch of mini-bananas.
- Slocum, ably assisted by Fat Crashing Bastard, called in Scratchy Bawasan. They announced that SB was their acupuncturist and anyone needing to be pricked should visit him. For shamelessly trying to get discounts in exchange for advertising.
- Zipp called in the obvious couple, Cherry Picker and Lap Dog, who were wearing the same hash shirts. She also called in the much more discreet couple, who were trying to hide their relationship, but their shared use of the same unique flip flops gave them away. The happy couple? Dead Fish and Kannot Kan. Love is in the air. Obvious soul mates.
- Kannot Kan confused me but I think he said that Scratchy Bawasan was named by Ditch Bitch and that SB was his oldest friend in Singapore (although he didn’t look that old to me). KK also announced that SB had a weekly radio show on 90.5 and did acupuncture for dogs. I guess KK needed a discount on his next pricking.
- Stiff called in Circle Jerk for trying to use the fact that he was recovering from New Year’s Eve celebrations for all the stuff he messed up earlier on the run and in the circle. It turns out that the fact was not a fact at all and Stiff new the truth. CJ went to bed at 11:00pm on the 31st!
- Jack Off called in Eric for talking to snails on the run. I think one of them was the one trying to escape on Stiffy’s Bike.
- Penile Extension needed to drag out the circle while dinner was still getting ready so he called in Boxer, Pokai, Too Easy and Eleven. He asked them bend forward from the waist. Just as PE was starting to enjoy the view down their shirts, Boo started singing, thus ending PE excitement for the night.
- Amen. And, no, I do not proof-read.
On on
Scribed by Gypsy