The Aussie Day Run
Sembawang
Hares: Cock Radio, with Gypsy and Zipp.
On On: Chinese next door
The Run:
After some discussion of the latest Australia v England cricket series, where cricket was described by Goes Down Easy as ‘that game where someone stands in front of 3 sticks and hits the ball with a flat stick,’ the pack headed up Sembawang Rd. Hooray was certain at the first Check it was across the road, and took Tiger Lily with him. The first of several wrongs for Tiger Lily.
A loop back into the jungle and out onto Gambas, where Comes Quietly went the usual way, but was wrong. It was back into the jungle where a friendly market gardener had a sign saying you may take the fruit but leave some for him.
Through a home-made bike track that some prick had tried to sabotage by placing upright nail sticks leading into it. Can’t have the local kids having a bit of fun can we.
Another bit of jungle before hitting the connector path along what remains of the Sungei Sembawang. Finally a HDB sprint, interspersed with checks at nearly every intersection, and across the field to home.
Goes Down Easy and Too Easy were in good form, as was Comes Quietly. Tiger Lily displayed a bit of Irish by coming in turd. The Boxer, who arrived late, was last seen running off into the sunset.
Zipp managed to get the walkers back without getting lost.
Back in 50 minutes after a nice run of about 7kms.
The Circle: Jack Off gets things going in the carpark that had a police van and an ambulance, while air force helicopters flew overhead.
Crikey, so what did we think of that for a run? The scribe thinks it was the run of the year, but he could be biased. Good run.
Tell us about your On On: Chinese next door, $12
Next week’s run: Lower Pierce Reservoir, Goes Down Easy, F#*king Easy.
Guests: Pepe, Lost and Found, FNG
Returnees: Ayam Kampong, In and Out.
Virgins: Nope
Lipstick: Hooray, Pepe, Lost and Found, FNG & Kan Not Kan for turning up late.
Tits: Kamala gets lots of saggy tits comments. Amongst lots of swearing and typical Kamala rambling, of which I only understood 10% of, Imperfect Member and Two Jugs were mentioned for going for a working holiday to the UK and Canada. It was work for Imperfect Member and of course ladies don’t work, so Two Jugs was left to amuse herself by going for runs in minus 30 degree weather. That would freeze your tits off. But closer to home, Tiger Lily wins for her effort in battling the cooler Singapore weather trying to cover her pointy nipples with a cardigan draped over her shoulders.
Dick: Wet ‘n Wild has the Dick.
Banana Protector: Pepe, a visitor, claims he has no one to give it, but decides he would like to give it to Jack Off. And who wouldn’t? It seems our GM had a little spider problem in the jungle.
Jack Off is impressed by the very curved banana.
Stiffy then gets charged by the GM, who said if she says it’s this big (open arms wide to show), then it is this big.
Awards –Nope.
AOB:
- The scribe sort of missed the opening charges, can’t remember why, but there have been an alcohol factor. My notes say CR – Beaver and Doggy Style. Stiffy, Tiger Lily – ambulance. Oh yes, there was an ambulance in the car park just in case…
- Lost and Found lived up to his name – lost his shoes and car keys and found them eventually.
- Too Easy is an honorary Aussie – wearing a pair of thongs.
- Cock Radio points out that Singapore is a food lover’s delight. But there is just one thing missing – Vegemite! A multi-cultural squad of refined culinary taste testers are assembled to indulge and rate Vegemite on crackers. The Brits preferred Marmite, showing their total lack of culinary class, the Singaporeans asked for more chili lah, the Canadians were speechless but thought it may substitute maple syrup, the Yanks wanted it in a burger while Tiger Lily, representing the Japanese, thought it would go well with whale sushi.
- Cock Radio is called back by Kamala for ignoring Indian Singaporeans, so a quick vegemite curry was whipped up to appease her.
- Suzee Wong dragged CR back in for forgetting the Eurasian Singaporeans, so a vegemite mix was knocked up for Zipp.
- Aussie songs were sung, including ‘They ain’t got no birth certificate,’ and ‘They all live in a penal colony..’ A reply back to the Brits from CR ‘ Union Jack is on our asse, do da, do da…’ pointing to his Aussie flag shorts.
- Kan Not Kan puts a plug in for the Robbie Burns Run, part 2. Jl. Lam Sam, free whisky.
- Croc Hunter is pulled in – Tiger Lily found a condom in his van. Unused thankfully. What was TL doing snooping around CH’s van anyway?
- In & Out plugs the Lion City Charity Run – stay tuned for details, but he assures us it won’t clash with other chapter’s runs. But Gypsy says it clashes with a movie he is going to watch, KNK says it will clash with his Robbie Burns Run part 14, CR says it will clash with his Chong Pang beer drinking, Kamala says it may clash with an event happening in India…….
- Zipp gets KNK in for clashing Robbie Burns with Kampong.
- Goes Down Easy and F#*king Easy got a serve for something, but by this time I was more interested in my beer and missed it.
- Jack Off let the banana protector slip and it smashed on the ground. Oh dear. Time to finish.
On on to the On On.
Scribed by Cock Radio
AGE IS A WONDERFUL THING
ROMANCE
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.”
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me.”
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my Neck.”
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”