The ‘Yankees go Home, or at least get out of our Park’ Run
Big Head and Virginia Slim.
Sengkang Riverside Park.
The Run
Once again we had plenty of visitors and returnees, on their way home from Interhash. We also had a couple of frustrated hares who had been chased off from their favourite run site by the new rules. And we had a GM who was nervously looking at her watch every few minutes, could it be that she had somewhere else to be? So after some basic trail instructions, and a “good luck” to three virgins in white shoes, we were off down under Anchorvale Street to the traditional circle check in the pagoda at the top of the park.
This being a Virginia Slim run, best choice for the on was across the canal and up a slippery slope and so it was. Then, of course, down to that stinking, festering pond where an obstacle course had been set up – a cut down tree provided a bridge and a piece of loose rope gave false hope to many who thought they could get across feet dry, but more than one ended knickers deep in the festering pond. Great entertainment. Stiffy was heard to complain (unusual) that he was behind some fat bastards at the pond crossing and he was worried the “bridge” would be suffering wood fatigue, but I can reliable inform him it had been load tested to 2T! (If you could stay upright with the loose rope, that is). Some more meandering trails got us out onto Anchorvale Street again where we (well some of us anyway) crossed the road at Kupang LRT station and then found our way into the woods between Anchorvale and the TPE.
More meandering around in the woods until we finally emerged at the dog hotel, a traditional drink stop, for a lovely concoction of Gin, juice, and fruit, the baying of hounds and the bites of fleas. On home through the bottom of the Sengkang Park.
Where’s the GM? Having run the run, our GM disappeared to get on a plane (needs to pack apparently) so left the circle in the capable hands of Big Head. The circle was pretty noisy so Boo piped up with “listen to the old lady”, for which he and Jig a Jig got a down down for rudeness.
Crikey, what did we think of that for a run? “Too short, too many fleas” etc etc. Virginia Slim reports that the 4th of July is “British Thanksgiving Day”. Very good run – a drink stop is always a winner, especially when the hare is the one running the circle.
Stiffy’s Hash Maths. Maggot hash maths actually suggested 4.5km.
Tell us about your on on mate. On site, Mr Hoe’s “melting pot” of not necessarily American food: lamb, falafel, pitas, chips, salad, apple pie and ice cream.
Well what about next week? Wet ‘n Wild and Sneaky Comer’s anniversary run will be as far from a National Park as possible, at that exotic location, Pasir Ris Heavy Vehicle car park. Big Head was not impressed and gave Sneaky a down down for boring location [editor’s note: at least we won’t get arrested].
Virgins: – welcome Rubby (sp?) and Loretta. [Editor’s note: Zipp, stop being so cruel, tell your virgins not to wear their virginal white shoes].
Visitors, returnees and other misfits: welcome Sunny, Vibrator, Deep Throat, Pussy Galore, Cervix with a Smile, Youhou, Alouette, Jig a Jig, King Lear, Shiggy Piggy, and Ayam Zinking (who the GM finally caught during the on-on, pay your guest fees Ayam). Special welcome to returnees Walkie Talkie and Careless.
New Member – nope.
Lippy – Ayam Zinking, Handbag, Vibrator, Boo, and YouHou were the naughty boys tonight.
The Dick – Tiger Lily forgot she had the Dick so she gets a down down. Perhaps she couldn’t see it at home?
The Tits – Father Anus also has forgetfulness disease. Please bring out tits back!
AOB
· Suzee Wong is upset with Virginia Slim. She notes he is drinking wine tonight, which is fine on a Harriets run but recently, on the Seletar 30th anniversary, which HE organized, beer was available at any time but wine wasn’t available until after the circle. Boo volunteers for a sympathetic down down with Virginia.
· Vibrator has been in Australia for a month. “When do you go back” was asked. He notes that Australia now has a female Prime Minister but this suits the Male Chauvanist Pigs in Australia because they can pay the woman less for the same job a man was doing a month ago. Maggot is the representative MCP.
· Mother’s Tongue observed experienced hasher, Ad Nauseum, tripping and falling in spectacular fashion, doing an acrobatic curve and roll. Well done.
· Twin Towers calls Big Head in for letting Ayam Zinking spend the circle texting on his phone and then disturbing Tiger Lily.
· Handbag charges himself – he admits to lipstick, pushed the girls aside to get to the drink stop first. But in his defence he says he was first to arrive and last to leave the drink stop, so of course he needs another drink.
· Fat Crashing Bastard calls in Comes Quietly. At one point in the run, Comes Quietly called for a woman but was not satisfied with Twin Towers as a front runner and he wanted someone faster. Twin Towers was incensed at this and she pointed out that she was able to run very fast “horizontally”. Here’s to the horizontal joggers, they’re true blue.
· Sneaky Comer needs legal advice for this next charge and believe it or not, he has found a good lawyer. Boo was able to get an important case deferred so he could go to Interhash. Now that’s a good lawyer. So Boo is called in to observe. Sneaky met Caryl Gurney, the Harriets founder at Interhash, and they had a good chat about the history of the club. Caryl is pleased that the club is going well but she feels there are too many men, and those men certainly shouldn’t be doing hash roles like scribing. Fortunately, the committee is stepping up this year, Sneaky overheard Too Easy and Stiffener fighting over who should be doing the washing up (of the beer mugs) tonight.
· Ugly Bum points out that male chauvinism is alive and well on this hash. Speaking to an associate member, she was complaining about being photographed on the hash, because sometimes the photos don’t represent her as “gorgeous”. Shiggy Piggy didn’t express enough sympathy or surpise, apparently.
· Big Head notices at this point that Ugly Bum is wearing an English hash shirt on an American Day Run.
· On a British theme, Not Tonight reports that “having a Queen” costs every British Citizen 62 pence per year ($4,500 USD at current exchange rates). So Ugly Bum and Handbag get a note for supporting the Queen.
· Mother’s Tongue saw another trip on the run tonight. Fat Crashing Bastard tripped right in front of Boo, who reported that “it wasn’t a pretty sight”. Both of them get a drink.
Awards – Big Head is “honored and pleased” to present a 300 run award to Virginia Slim since he has given her “so much pleasure”.
On on on to Mr Hoe under the park pavilion.
Scribed by Sneaky Comer.