The “I Was Having More Fun Three Years Ago” Run
Wet ‘n Wild & Sneaky Comer.
The Far East (Pasir Ris Heavy Vehicle Car Park).
The Run
Quite a small group gathered this evening. Could it be due to school holidays taking many of our members away. Or was it just that Pasir Ris is a f^&cking long way from Bukit Timah Road? Stand-in GM Big Head sent the small pack off to the corner of the car park, where a circle check had 90% of the pack standing around chatting. Eventually the on was found on the corner of Pasir Ris Farmway 2. Over the fence to one of the tiny bits of “forest” left in Pasir Ris to another circle check that had regular attendees checking left. But no, it was back to the road, across the canal, and mass confusion as clumps of Monday paper all over the place had a few confused. With a bit of help from the hares, it was down along another overgrown canal to Pasir Ris Farmway 1. There a circle check was quickly solved and it was down to the beach. More Monday paper and front runners who can’t see lead the FRB’s left onto Monday’s trail, while the rest of the pack saw the T-check on the beach and headed back into Pasir Ris Park. Through the park and up to car park F where a final circle confounded the few people checking until on was finally called in the forest next to Pasir Ris Heights. A last bit of pseudo forest until the pack emerged on Pasir Ris Heights and then on home via Pasir Ris Drive 3 and the canal.
Where’s the GM? The GM is still away so Big Head called the circle to attention at 7:40pm.
Crikey, what did we think of that for a run? “Good Run” and lots of other rude comments I didn’t manage to write down.
Stiffy’s Hash Maths. Not present, but the hare’s calculations were about 6km.
Tell us about your on on mate. Summer Nite Breeze Restaurant, Car Park E, Pasir Ris Park.
Well what about next week? Legolas and Lethal Weapon at Lorong Sesuai. On On will be on site.
Virgins: – nope.
Visitors, returnees and other misfits: Herr Zipp is a distinguished returnee, welcome back. Also welcome Legolas, Stiff, Lennie (allegedly known as Boxer), Ayam Zinking, Krit, and Deep Throat.
New Member – nope.
Lippy – Ayam Zinking, Hooray, and Herr Zipp. It seems I don’t have to re-type Ayam Zinking’s name each week, might as well leave it here permanently. Ladies, I think there is a bit of persistent abuse going on here.
The Dick – Tiger Lily has the Dick in a bag, enters the circle and puts it on. Says, “OK, the Dick…..” “Ummm, actually, I haven’t thought of anything yet, can we do the tits first?”
The Tits – Father Anus has finally remembered the tits. He has two candidates, “one for each boob”. For the first candidate, he says that while the hash has no rules, some must really learn to run the fookin’ hash. Who could it be not following trail and thereby causing confusion among some of the Harriets? Boo of course. Sneaky Comer is called in as the other candidate, for not picking up the 20 tons of Monday paper near the trail and thereby causing more confusion. By a very narrow (perhaps slightly rigged) vote, Boo gets the tits.
The Dick – Tiger Lily is ready now. She was chatting with Wet ‘n Wild (during the last charge, maybe)? Anyway, Wet ‘n Wild has been doing some Pilates which she happily reported train “ALL the muscles of the body”. Tiger Lily thinks this will make Sneaky Comer happy so Wet ‘n Wild gets the Dick.
AOB
· Handbag calls in the Dog Lovers. All the FRB’s managed to run into a big pack of dogs (ed: while they were off trail). On in Stiff, Tiger Lily, Krit, Ayam Zinking.
· Boo asks Tiger Lily who is the new Prime Minister of Japan. Tiger Lily is not too sure. It turns out he has relatives on this hash, on in Kannot Kan and Kan the Kobra, who get a drink with Tiger Lily to celebrate their relative in high places (ed: Naoto Kan).
· Boo, who clearly had little to do this week, takes out the Straits Times and points to an article about an Australian man, who after having a little to drink, jumped a fence to sit on the back of a 5m crocodile. The Australian was lucky to escape with bites on his legs (ed: http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/World/Story/STIStory_553398.html). On in Sneaky Comer for being an Australian.
· Mother’s Tongue first wants Boo in the circle for pre-empting her (twice) when she was trying to get in the circle.
· Mother’s Tongue now has the hares in the circle, congratulates them on their third anniversary, and waxes lyrically about a lovely run – fields, beaches, sunsets etc. Thanks hares, have a drink.
· Legolas has the hares in the circle for not pickup up paper (Monday’s perhaps).
· Wet ‘n Wild has an immediate grudge and has Legolas in for picking up paper too early and confusing the back runners.
· Zipp reminds the Harriets that there are a lot of new regulations on the hash, but of course no one takes any notice. She thinks the stand-in GM, Big Head, should set a better example. Her crime: going into the area behind the car park with a piece of toilet paper. The sign she ignored? “No Dumping”.
· Hooray calls in the Ball Breaker runners from Interhash. Handbag, Krit, and Kannot Kan. (Kamela is surprised that Kannot Kan did the Ball Breaker). Krit apparently turned back at the airport.
· Hooray has more Interhash news, and in this case dobs in some short cutters on the Quadripartite run – Stiffener, Kan the Kobra, and Quickie.
· Sneaky Comer points out that last week we got a beautiful American Day T-shirt decorated by one of those famous red signs that we always obey carefully on the hash. So when we got to a red sign on this hash, did Big Head check behind it? No, the run must go somewhere else, she was thinking. Give her a note for note taking her own advice.
· Big Head has Sybil in for front running.
· Sneaky Comer overheard his wife saying that “on this day three years ago, I was having a lot more fun”. Give the reluctant hasher a note.
· Zipp has Deep Throat in for not wearing a hash shirt, but thinking she can get away with a “Hashmina”.
· Hooray points out that Michelle has been on the phone for quite a while during the circle, so there is a potential hash naming. He is not sure what that name might be, and says the issue is “open to the floor”.
· The pack is sure we should wait for a naming so the circle proceeds while we wait for this 30 minute phone call to end. Herr Zipp calls in his “Mum”, Zipp, who welcomed him back after a long absence by calling out “Prick” at him all night. Is that any way to treat your long lost son? Zipp retorts with ”You don’t bring me flowers..”
· Handbag has geometry on his mind, as he starts talking about types of triangles: Pythagoras, golden, Bermuda etc. Anyway there was a triangle of sorts on the run tonight. A Singaporean translating New Zealandish for an American: on in Boo, Big Head, and Wet ‘n Wild.
· Zipp announces that Kampong Hash is on this Saturday but she has no idea where it will be.
· Kannot Kan brings Lennie in the circle. For some time Lennie has been known as Boxer, due to an incident in the Sportsmans with a Scottish lady. However, Lennie has never been officially named this way, so the Harriets correct this, with Big Head doing the honours. Lennie will forever more be officially known as Boxer.
· Michelle has finally returned from her phone call. Various names are tried including “Love You Long Time”; and Boo is particularly keen on “Open on the Floor”; but in the end Michelle is officially named “Open To the Floor”.
· Big Head charges Boo with playing with his nipples. Boo retorts that his Mum never tied his hand.
On on on to Summer Nite Breeze in Pasir Ris Park.
Scribed by Sneaky Comer.