The ‘Hey Noah, I Want You To Build Me an Ark ’ Run
Fort Canning Park Pool
Armless & Indecent Exposure
The Run
Several things in life are certain – taxes, death, Singaporean drivers not indicating, and 4 hours of torrential rain the afternoon that Indecent Exposure and Armless decide to set a run. Well we remember their last attempt at Kent Ridge, where they even had a fallen tree to block the road to the Car Park.
The Police Post set up in the Car Park for the F1 was a nice touch, no need to lock up the car tonight. However, driving out at the end of the night after availing ourselves of the beer wagon in full view of the boys in blue may have been tempting fate, so a quick decision was made to relocate to the car park around the back.
After setting the run 3 times, the Hares were in need of liquid refreshment, but managed to whisper to me where the run went, just in case trail was washed out. So down River Valley Rd went, trail clearly marked. Right into Killiney Rd, around some back streets, trail still good. An overhead bridge had us scratching around a bit looking for trail, but eventually we were back on.
So far the trail was clearly marked; in fact it was as clear as the black G -string that our Virgin girl was wearing. Seems she was having a little trouble maintaining a modest vertical waist level of her running tights. This did not seem to worry the line of eager males running behind her with their tongues hanging out. In Shaggy Dick 2’s case, there may have been something else hanging out.
Anyway, with the trail well marked so far, and Anna’s black G-String well exposed, it was down to Penang Rd. A very clear arrow pointed along Penang, but after 10 minutes searching all 420 degrees of the compass, alas not another marking could be found. Unfortunately that was as far as the Hares had given me directions – they passed out after they muttered Penang Rd.It was decided to head back up into Fort Canning Park, where some of picked up the trail. Shoe Shopper was in such a hurry to visit the ladies, she failed to see the 4 arrows on the wall of the building housing the toilet: – pointing in the opposite direction to where she wanted to go.
Some of the Pack on trail in the Park forgot that if they followed it all the way, they would end up at the original Car Park, with the Police Post, that we had abandoned. Some of us were more keen for a drink and headed directly to where the Beer Wagon was. And besides, we were following Anna and her black G – String.
Back in about an hour, good work out. Well done Hares, under the conditions, a fine run! Not as good as the run 6 weeks ago, but nice try!
The Circle:
So, what did we think of that for a run? Too dry, not enough police. Too many G – Strings. Not enough Machines?
Tell us about your On On: On site, Indian, $5.00.
Next week’s run: Can Not Kan, Punggol Way.
Visitors: Cherry Picker, Heath, Ed, Jane & Tarzan. Possibly a few others I missed.
Virgins: Anna. ‘Will you come again?’ asks the GM. ‘Yes, but in a different pair of running tights’ was the reply. ‘No, no,’ was the call from the males.
Returnees: no Boomerangs today.
Lipstick: No Lippy today, and let’s face it, what male in his right mind was going to run past Anna.
Tits: Nope, not a tit in sight.. Oh, wait, Mr. Potato Head has just gone to find some, I think he headed towards Orchard Towers. Ah, here is, back with a fine set. And who better to receive them than our Hare, Armless, for a guided tour of the Car Parks of Fort Canning. Singapore Tourism is interested in adding this as a sign posted tour in their brochures. Duck Tours have also put in an offer. And you even end the tour with a beer and makan. Good stuff Armless.
Dick: Ayam Zinking still has the Dick. Rumours are starting. But no, wait again. Ed, the visitor, has entered the Circle. All of a sudden, there is a commotion, as Ed comes in and pulls out the Dick from his bum. My goodness, so that’s what Ayam Zinking did with it. Ed says ‘For going to the other place.’ I am not sure who he said this to or what he meant by it, but coming from a man who pulls a Dick out of his bum, do we really want to know?
Awards – Not tonight.
AOB
· Fat Crashing Bastard said he would like Stiffy. (mmm, speaking of rumours) Then he said he would also like Cherry Picker. (More rumours). And he would also like Shaggy Dick 2. (Ok, enough said.) He then redeems himself by saying he would also like Anna the virgin. (join the queue mate) He then gets the boys to show how they were all lined up single file on the run as they followed Anna. A very cheeky charge.
· Hooray, who now has not been a Hare for 173 runs, which is approaching the SE Asia record, takes the piss out of Singaporn and Wet Thong. Seems they were in need of some desperate urination relief in the Park, but where to go lah, quick, quick. ‘Just here,’ says one of the gals, and she finds an appropriate place. ‘No, I am going this way,’ says the other, and off she runs. After doing a complete circuit of Fort Canning, she eventually ends up back at the appropriate place her fellow Harriet found 10 minutes ago. ‘They ought to be publicly pissed on…’
· Shaggy Dick 2, who had to clean his spectacles every 3 minutes on the run as they fogged up while running behind Anna, calls in Loose Change and Fat Crashing Bastard. A conversation (again) between these 2 involved LC telling FCB to go away and play with his stimulator simulator. It seems he doesn’t even have his own simulator, he has to borrow one. Speaking of Simulators, I want to know what Too Easy thinks about this.
· Stiffy, fighting off a frontal assault from Wet Pet, manages to tell us that she does not know what is happening in Singapore this week end. Umm, Wet Pet, perhaps just go and invest in a set of ear plugs. Also, Jack Off was rather bewildered by some names arriving in town that were mentioned. ‘Are they actors or singers?’Oh, fuck off, no time to seek the truth, and the day the truth stands in the way of this run report, that will be the day I die. ‘Peggy Sue, Peggy Sue, pretty, pretty Peggy Sue..
· Cherry Picker, starts with B mm
· Cock Radio, busy scribing, was approached by a very worried Committee Member who noticed a police car arriving in the Car Park. ‘Cock Radio, Cock Radio, police, police, tell everyone be quiet, no noise, no swearing, police come, quickly.’ On arising from my scribe seat to inform the GM, I watch the approaching headlights turn into a nearby car space and Police Constable Armless get out of his Patrol Car that he had just retrieved from the original run site Car Park. Give the vigilant one a note.
· Suzee Wong is after breast donations. So are Shaggy Dick 2 and myself. Serious though, if you can donate something for a raffle that will make money for the Breast Cancer Awareness Fund Run, see Suzee Wong. I have come up with some ideas.
- Anna could donate her Black G- String to the highest bidder..
- Shaggy Dick 2 could donate the money someone offers to wash his dirty running clothes that have been in his bag for 3 days.
- Stiffy could get people to sponsor him not to speak one word while the Circle is on.
- Wet N Wild could be sponsored not to talk while on the run.
- Hooray could be sponsored to set a run in the next 2 and a half years.
- Singaporn could find a sponsor willing to pay her if she actually runs directly through some shiggy and doesn’t pussy foot around.
- Boo- sponsored if he refrains from saying ‘Speak English’ for 1 year, 10 weeks, 2 weeks, 1 night.
- Twin Towers sponsored for a skimpy T Shirt award every night for the next 12 36 months.
- More ideas to CR and will be published next week.
· Fat Crashing Bastard gets scientific and explains to Jack Off where shooting stars come from. It is an impressive explanation, way beyond the expected capabilities of FCB. It certainly lost your scribe, as would definitely have been expected. However, the gist of it was; – Jack Off, shooting stars DO NOT come from Planet Ribena.
On on to On site Indian.
Scribed by Cock Radio.