The ‘How Good is Your Washing Detergent’ Run
The Cess Pits of Pungol
Kan Not Can & Kan The Cobra
The Run
This was a run on which to not wear anything white. A threatening storm passed by as we set off down the road, only to come back up the hill again to the start, after the first of many T Checks. Along under the shadows of the Light Rail, except there were no shadows due to the storm clouds, Not Tonight led the way across the grass. (Did she get an award last week?)
Down an embankment, across the stream, up the embankment and around the corner – to the next T check. Shaggy Dick 2 convinced most of those runners who had crossed the water that they had to recross the stream to find trail. After fruitless searching, it was I who found trail by not re-crossing the stream, meaning all those that had re-crossed the stream had to re-re-cross the stream. Nice one Hare! And nice one SD2. Comes Quietly had also found Trail but was running in the wrong direction, so as he came, we quietly spun him around 180 degrees and sent him on his way.
We then ventured into some rather tall reeds and grasses. Wet Brazilian was leading the Pack but her lack of height was creating difficulties for her to see above the reeds to find trail. Running just behind her, I decided to assist her by raising my periscope and calling directions to her from behind. Up periscope.
It was not long after that we encountered some seriously horrible, smelly, sticky, yellow mud. The squelching, sucking sounds emitted from the mud as runners tried to extract each foot, reminded me of the naked girl who did the splits on the tiled kitchen floor of her house and got stuck, but that’s another story. Serious, you would not want to have a shoe come off in that mud. At one stage, in a desperate attempt to keep my loose left shoe on, (the lace had broken before the run and was attached to only 4 eyelets), I implemented a forward lunging action with a twist that resulted in a half pike followed by a belly flop into the mud. But my left shoe stayed on.
A construction site was reached where we had to contend with a lot of Trash lying on the ground. In fact, making the descent down towards the light rail, it was not only Trash that ended up on the ground. And watch out for the hole at the bottom.
Back into jungle, nice trails but don’t trip – there were some nasty spiked broken saplings sticking out of the ground that resembled a VC trap from the Viet Nam War. Next up was another stream to wade along. This oozed with black gooey mud, and had a much higher water content than the orange gooey mud stream. However, the water level also allowed a very high diesel petroleum component to be added to it. No smoking, please. I hope Shaggy gets out of his running clothes and has a shower before he lights up a Benson and Hedges later on, otherwise it will prove once and for all that smoking is not good for your health. Could also introduce a new warning picture to be placed on cigarette packets. ‘Smoking in Pungol waterways may instantly terminate your life.’
Open to the Floor, who was also being called Scratch and Win, and even Scratch and Sniff, led us through trails to finally come out onto a road.
But road, not for long. More off road trekking and through some non-descript grass/shrub/forest wastelands. Ed the visitor had a little stumble on a discarded car tyre, to which I told him ‘You look a bit tired.’ And he replied ‘ I had a late night.’ Oh well, I thought it was funny. However, my attempted humour distracted him and he soon was down for the count after discovering a disguised hole and rolled his ankle.
Eventually we reached the Marina and it was a sprint for home around the backside. Open To The Floor, who had set a cracking pace, got to within 200 metres of the Beer Wagon and completely stopped. ‘I can’t go any further,’ she gasped, ‘I haven’t done it for 2 weeks.’ The boys urged her on, but no. If she was a race horse, they would have shot her. So it was up to the GM to lead the way in.
Back in an hour exactly, some heavy going stuff but certainly different. Well done Hares, a dirty, dirty run. Not as good as the run 7 weeks ago, but nice try!
The Circle: I left my notes in a plastic bag at the On On, so here are some recollections of what happened.
So, what did we think of that for a run? You call that shiggy? Too much road. Good run was the verdict.
Tell us about your On On: On site, Puncher’s Chicken Tika and desert, $12 (and my goodness me, it was vary vary good, don’t you worry about that).
Visitors: Trash, Ed, Jane & Tarzan. Possibly a few others I missed.
Virgins: Nope.
Returnees: no Boomerangs today.
Lipstick: No, all good boys. CR was let off on a technicality – Wet Brazilian had given him special dispensation to trail blaze a certain section for her, and in another section I was used as a spider web detector. Anyway, Shoe Shopper forgot the lippy.
Tits: Armless still has his hands on them.
Dick: Jack Off recalled how Loose Change had just crossed the first stream, when T Check was called by the FRB’s. Shaggy Dick insisted that it was on back, and made her go back across the stream. Loose Change is usually far enough at the back of the Pack to avoid these sorts of situations. But then ‘On On,’ was called from the T Check side of the stream, resulting in Loose Change getting wet in the same water 3 times in the space of 3 minutes, totally unheard of. Have a drink SD2. And what an appropriate drink it was – water.
Awards – There are no awards tonight. Got that Stiffy? Is this clear enough for you? No one, and I mean absolutely no one, not even Not Tonight, received an award tonight.
AOB
· After complaining recently about the lack of FM Shoes in the circle, Sneaky Comer was very pleased to see his wife in high heels and asked for a short circle, please, to take advantage.
· Dances With Kerbs and Shoe Shopper were charged for making their cars dance with the kerb at the run site. Stay tuned for further follow up car charges regarding car dancing.
· Shaggy Dick 2 tells how Cock Radio kept the Hash Car waiting at work. Why? He was having an extended parent- teacher meeting with a Japanese yummy mummy.
· Stiffy was reading the newsletter last week (well, at least 1 person reads it) and asked Not Tonight what she got an award for. Not Tonight replied ‘What are you talking about, what award, I didn’t get an award?’ Stiffy insisted, ‘But it says here, Awards – not tonight.’ Your scribe is then brought into the Circle to explain. What I meant was – awards, not tonight, as in there are no awards tonight. Stiffy drinks for not paying attention, and your scribe drinks for incorrect use of Not Tonight’s name.
· Singaporn was charged for attempting to dance her car with trucks – on arriving she parked her car slap bang in the middle of the turn around. Wisely taking advice, she moved it just before a bloody big lorry truck came down and turned around.
· Wet & Ready, Posh Nash, Singaporn and Lost Marbles (female gas baggers) were brought in by Stiffy, who had observed them chatting away and paying no attention at all. Using a tried and tested method of checking one’s level of attention, he asked them where next week’s run was. Not surprisingly, none of them had a clue. Stiffy then tells them it was actually a trick question, as next week’s run has not been announced yet.
· This immediately makes the GM jump into action, realising her oversight, and calls for next week’s run to be announced:
Next week’s run: Shaggy Dick 2 & Right Royal Tit. Jalan Mashhor,off Upper Thompson
· Penile Extension, who arrived late, and had also thought about parking out on the turn around, is given a charge, something to do with Monday Hash or wanking or something. Actually, his car would have been safe parked out on the turn around, it’s so low to the ground that the trucks would have passed over the top of it.
· Cock Radio was given a charge for incorrect use of navy equipment, in that he was raising his periscope way too frequently, and way too many times up the back side of Wet Brazilian. Here’s to (Dis) Able Bodied Seaman Stains, Royal Navy.
With apologies to all those with great charges who I have missed.
On on to On site Indian.
Scribed by Cock Radio.