The Big Birthday Bash.
Hares: Gyspy, Twin Towers, Comes Quietly
Lorong Sesuai
The Run
By Cock Radio. Simple version. (Sober)
It went down one side of the hill, along a bit, (ok, about 8kms or so to be exact), then back up the other side of the hill.
The Run
As written by Shaggy Dick 2. Not so simple version. (Written after being trapped in Holland Village Coffee Shop drinking Carlsberg for 4 ½ hours during severe thunderstorm Sunday afternoon)
Well, Yep, it did go down one side of the fill, hollowed by a tour of Fukit Bukit Batok. Toh Fuck Tuck Rd and the German Bratwurst School were passed, along with some of last nights curry and urine in the nearby bush. Back past the bottom of Posh Nash Bookit Backok Park. Next on the sight perving agenda was the Old Bukit Timah Wire Station, viewed from the top of the pedestrian overhead bridge on Upper Bukit Timah Rd, where some nice glimpses of cleavage could be seen on the girls getting off the bus underneath.
Cross the Malay Railway, soon to be an extinct icon, and into another banquished piece of Singapore, known as jungle. I fooking tell you, soon the only wild bush you will find in Sinapore will be in orchard f ing Towers. Speaking of riding, along the bike rack in Tukit Bimah Pature Nark we sank, passing the Wankers Rangers Head Orifice. Don’t worry, we have permit lah.
At dis stage, I was dinking it was going to be an a to z run with a plane flight back, cause we headed turder away from home. Rifle Texas Ranger rd. Turn right to head home? Nope, fcking left. Out to the pipline, passing water at the reservoir at jalan beautiful village.
Jurian trail and into the stream. Pass more water here. Through twin towers twin tunnels under the who ate all the PIE, out to may fare park and onto the malay railweigh track again. Oh fark, train coming. Cloze eyes and pray. No, pray first then close eyes. Fark, too late. Funk heaven it derailed before it got to us.
Drinky winky stop at northhaven 3 condo, bit of sex in the pool and then a stroll back up long sex wah to the beer wagon.
The Circle:
Well done Hares, a good run. Back in a bit over the hour, partly due to a drink stop. Not as good as the run 13 weeks ago, but nice try!
So, what did we think of that for a run? Finally the Hares arrived back and received their plaudits. Good Run
Tell us about your On On: BBQ poolside at South Haven 2, all f&b free. BBQ – snags, chops, steak. And a bit of salad too. Set up by Lenny. Very good run. There will be sex on the beach too.
Next week’s run: Not Tonight & Stiffy, Pepys Rd (the other side of Kent Ridge, just below Coo Chi Coo’s, off Pasar Panjang Rd). On on at Coo Chi Coo. (will he be home?) Nah, lets have Thai instead.
Visitors: 24, give or take a couple.
Virgins: Could not see any amongst that motley lot of guests.
Returnees: Could have been a couple amongst the freeloaders
Lipstick: Hooray is told by the GM to start turning up with his own lipstick, and to put it on before the run even starts. Neat.
Wet Patch is also called in but has his lip stick applied by the GM in a much more friendly way than Hooray copped it. There was passion shown by the GM in carrying out this task. Was there tongue as well?
Tits: Shaggy Dick 2 is wearing a fine pair, and then calls in another pair with even finer pairs, Loose Change and Poser. Is the Circle big enough? Step back please. Shaggy then enquires about their health – health in general, not just the health of their fine pairs. He probes even further – not literally, although there was a glean in his eyes, and asks about the state of their ribs. Yes, both gals have perfectly well and healthy ribs.
Your loyal scribe, who managed to crawl out of his death bed to get to this momentous occasion, is then brought in and asked about the state of his ribs. Mmm, not so good huh. Fractured huh?
SD2 then asks the Circle what the sore and sorry Cock Radio is missing that the healthy and strong ribbed gals have?
Yes, correct, CR doesn’t have a fine pair to protect him when he falls out of bathtubs in Cambodia. CR takes the Tits. He would rather have had a spare pair – of ribs.
Dick: Missing in action.
Awards – nope
AOB
· Shoe Shopper starts things of by a having a whinge. She doesn’t mind giving people a ride to the On On, she doesn’t even mind if the ridee has a beer to consume on the way. (this is known as a traveler in Oz.) But if you can’t finish the beer, please don’t get out of the car and leave a half full bottle sitting on the back floor of Shopper’s car. On leaving for work the next morning, Shoe Shopper couldn’t work out why her car smelt like a stale brewery, until she saw the overturned bottle next to the wet stained floor in the back. Right where Tiger Lily had been sitting. Japanese gratitude for you.
· Not Tonight has been doing some reading on testicle research. Amazingly, she discovered, the bush cricket has testicles that are 14% of it’s body weight. (we assume these are the male bush crickets) Wet Patch is brought in as a human male comparison – imagine if his testicles were 14% of his body weight. (imagine bringing in Malfunktion) Anyway, you get the general drift of the charge, I was too busy trying to calculate 14% of my weight to write down the rest of the charge, but it did involve male mating promiscuity and the equivalent of 3 ½ bags of sugar. How sweet.
· Fat Crashing Bastard has Boo in as representative of the vigilant Singapore population – you’ve heard the advertsisements, ‘If you notice anything suspicious, don’t hesitate, report it. Dial 999. The threat of terrorism is real.’ Well, the Singapore authorities did a little test just to check how vigilant Singaporeans are.
At various locations around the City, they set up vacant parked cars in popular places to emit smoke coming from them, emulating what could only be described as a‘rather suspicious’ situation. They then observed the response of our on the ball citizens. The greater majority of people walked past and looked the other way, pretending not to see anything. Quite a number took a curious glance, then continued on their merry way. A small number actually registered that this was not normal, and rang 999. But not before checking if it was free call or they could reverse the charges. Some of these who got out their HP forgot what they were meant to do and commenced playing games on their HP. While none of these results are all that surprising, the icing on the cake comes from another category of terrorist alert civic minded citizens who not only observed the smoke coming from the cars, but actually stopped next to them – to pose for a photograph.
You can imagine at the wake and funeral in the following days after the car bomb explosion. On the casket, a photo of Ah Beng Fooking Ng. His friends commenting, ‘Here is poor Ah Beng, posing next to that car just before it exploded and blew him clean over the Merlion to end up in 35 pieces on top of the indoor stadium.’ ‘Yeah, nice car huh.’ ‘Shame, how much for it’s COE you think?’ ‘ Ah ah ah ah, how much money topped up on cashcard for ERP, all blown sky high?’ ‘Such waste lah.’ ‘Ah ah ah.’ ‘And Ah Beng not pay me back $5.50 he borrow from me last week, now I never get it back. So thoughtless lah.’ ‘Ah, but at least we still have his camera he gave me to take his picture next to car with.’ ‘Yes, yes, good good. How much we get for it at pawn shop you think?’
RIP terrorist alert citizen, Ah Beng Fooking Ng. Nice pic by the way.
· Black Member asks all the over 40 males in and tells them to bend over. Holding up his finger, he informs us this is how males use to be tested for prostrate prostate (not falling for that one again Hooray) cancer. But not anymore. A simple blood test is used, so guys, no need to put off that test anymore. See Black Member for details of sponsorship as he grows a bit of facial hair for Movember, all proceeds to prostate research, which no longer need be a pain in the ass.
· Malfunktion complains about a smell in the Circle. Something fishy I think. Or was the cat let out of the bag?
· Hooray blamed Shaggy Dick 2 for derailing the Malayan Train near his favourite run site – Bukit Timah Railway Station. Did he leave too much flour on the tracks. Or was it all the empty cans of Carlsberg he has left there over the years? On On, or in this case, Off Off.
· The Hares then received a nice little birthday cake.
· Cock Radio calls in our resident Casino representative, Open to the Floor, and charges her for not providing a Korean visitor with appropriate documentation for his winnings – all 7 million dollars of it. This resulted in him being arrested at Changi Airport. And what’s more, he was caught at the Budget Terminal. 7 million smackeroos in his suitcase and he’s flying Tiger. Must be Korean of Scottish descent.
· Boo, of all people, called in Loose ‘Grandmother’ Change for short cutting at the bottom road, thus creating a conflict situation with another runner. Comes Quietly is then charged for being a poor mediator when he stepped in to quell the argument.
· Twin Towers invites all the Scorpios in for a birthday drink. By the way, what happened to the annual Scorpio Run??????
· Zipp wished all the Indians a happy Deepavali.
· Wet Brazilian charges Big Head with something to do with Singaporeans at the back of the pack not being able to keep up because their testicles were too big. More research material for Not Tonight.
· Dances With Kerbs receives some nice flowers for her birthday.
· Mother Tongue did a quick one with Astronut regarding a 65er. 4 off by the sounds of it.
· Zipp always turns HP off at important functions, such as weddings. During an interlude during the wedding, Gypsy snuck out to catch up with the football scores and on turning it on found the inbox clogged with urgent messages – from Twin Towers wanting to change Hare dates with them.
· Hopeless placed himself in a less than hopeless position when he was caught texting during the Circle.
· Twin Towers charges Gypsy for publicizing that Zipp gets senior citizen discount. Or was that the other way around?
· Malfunction informs us that after the On On tonight, there are some good games of football on TV, so there will be no sex tonight. Mmm, not sure if he really speaking on behalf of everyone with that one?
On on to sex on the beach at South Haven 2.
Scribed by Cock Radio.
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